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Interview With David Myles

Davidmyles

buy “Turn Time Off” by David Myles

 article and interview by Isaac Thompson

If you haven’t heard of David Myles, fear not; now you have heard of him and you no longer have to worry about missing out on one of the most gifted songwriters Canada has to offer.

Myles’ list of musical accomplishments is incredible and well earned. Here’s a small sample of what David Myles has been up to:

- His albums “Things Have Changed” (2006) and “On The Line” (2008) have brought him to national attention including a radio hit with “When It Comes My Turn”, a song about growing old with a little grace and a smile on your face.

- Yesterday (April 20th 2010) saw the release of Myles’ fourth album “Turn Time Off”. The album was produced by Joel Plaskett (!) of Thrush Hermit and Joel Plaskett Emergency fame.

- He won the 2009 International songwriting competition. The judges for this competition included Tom Waits (!!) and Brian Wilson (!!!), both of whom know a thing or two about quality songwriting (Take that, Simon Cowell!).

- He was selected to represent New Brunswick (he’s originally from Fredericton) in CBC Radio’s Great Canadian Song Quest, where he was asked to write and record a song about the popular tourist destination the Hopewell Rocks.

- He was nominated for Male Entertainer of the Year and won Folk Recording of the Year at the 2009 East Coast Music Awards for “On The Line”. He also won the Folk/Roots Recording of the Year for Music Nova Scotia in 2007.

- He joined Nova Scotia Rapper Classified onstage at the Much Music Video Awards last year, playing trumpets on Class’ hit track “Anybody Listening” (He told me that he met the Jonas Brother’s, who were hosting the show, and was surprised how nice they were. “They didn’t come off like cheese heads at all” he told me).

- On April 16th , 2010 he had the honour of playing a gig with Symphony Nova Scotia.

His accomplishments sound like those of someone twice his age who’s carreer might be wrapping up, but Myles is just getting started.

Myles’ sound is a seamless mixture of jazz, folk and blues with heartfelt and honest lyrics that pinpoint the hard-to-articulate pressure points of the human condition. Seriously he’s that good, but the thing that impressed me the most about David Myles (who was kind enough to take time out of his busy schedule to chat with me last November while in the middle of recording “Turn Time Off”) is that he is without a stitch of pretence. He’s soft spoken, kind, funny and thoughtful, and his ego seems to be non existent. It was a pleasure to be able to pick his brain about his craft, his success and his views on music.

If you haven’t heard of David Myles before you are in for a treat. He’s a great interview, full of interesting anecdotes and practical advice for all you artists out there. He’s a man who’s found success on his own terms without letting it get to his head, and that’s all any artist should be after.

 

Unfiltered Smoke: You’re living the dream a lot of artists are striving for. You’re a professional musician with no day job. I think a lot of our readers would like to know how you’ve accomplished that.

David Myles: I was lucky. Basically when I decided I was going to go for it I had about 5000 bucks saved up. I made a record and then moved out west. I started to play all the time and once my savings dwindled I moved to Halifax and worked a few temp jobs, then I made another record and then started touring again. I took some time off work, and eventually things started to happen. In the last three and a half years I haven’t worked [a day job] at all

US: That’s an amazing feat.

DM: It’s great because as it develops you get further away from it making sense to get a job. I’m starting to realize I have a couple of years where music is going to be my career.

US: That’s what every musician wants to do

DM: That’s it, and that’s what you have to keep perspective on. For me the big thing is to always realize that this is what I want, that my goal in life is to make music. It’s seemed ambitious enough and it seemed kind of crazy enough that I figured if I could make a living at it then I’m like the luckiest dude ever. But each year that goes by I feel like ‘when is this going to run out?’

US: It seems to me that you’re on the cusp of getting a lot more exposure. I’ve been hearing more and more about you from places like CBC radio.

DM: It’s definitely getting busier. That’s the other thing though, it takes time. I mean it depends on the type of music you play, but I suspect that the type of music I play, or at least how I kind of built my career, I’m hoping it is going to be a long career that slowly builds. Like a 40 year thing hopefully

US: Well your music doesn’t ride any fads or trends.

DM: That’s right, and it’s not going to become really popular over night.

US: People who like it are going to like it because it’s really good not because of some sort of flavour of the month type deal.

DM: Yeah, hopefully. I mean I think there’s a lot of really good music that was only popular for like a couple years. I think music I was into when I was 17  wasn’t the same stuff I was into when I was 25. When I was 17 I cared so much about certain bands that might not be popular right now, but they had some big years. That kind of career you have to capitalize on and it’s like how do you take advantage of that little time? I’m sure there’s a little bit of that in every career but my whole thing has always been not to spend very much money so I can always float by. So I’m never finding myself making big compromises or doing something just to make money.

 US: You don’t strike me as that kind of musician.

DM: I keep hoping that the records I have made will grow and people will go back and listen to them and maybe they’ll become really popular in ten years, you don’t know. But that’s how I’ve tried to focus on it and stay positive about everything. I focus on the record and make sure it’s really good and people will eventually come around if they want to come around.

The weird thing is that it kind of happens that way. Because I’ve never had huge commercial success, so it basically means that each of my records slowly builds, like I’ll get an email from somebody who’s just picked up a record that I made five years ago. It’s slowly getting around and I end up selling more copies of that first record that I did four or five years ago, and that’s pretty cool, you know what I mean? Because it means your back catalogue still works for you. It’s not like it’s over as soon as you put it out, like one shot at banging a number one hit and if it doesn’t happen it’s over. I think there’s a little bit of that protection too for people who might not be in the music industry. When I first got in I was like ‘Ok, I’m gonna make a record and it’s either going to be something really popular or I’m not going to have a career’ and it’s just not really like that. You just slowly build. Sometimes early records are better. Everybody has a band they love the old stuff. The early stuff wasn’t as popular but you come to it later.

US: I know, personally, when I discover a band it’s only a matter of time before I go back and comb through their back catalogue.

DM: That’s how I hope it goes but it seems that each record gets a little bigger. I mean I’m lucky, man. I have a cool life, I get to do a lot of cool things. I don’t tour all the time, but I do fun tours that I want to do. I feel lucky because I don’t have too many pressures in terms of what I do. I really don’t have that

US: So there’s no one breathing down your back saying “Put more hooks in this song and gives us more singles”?

DM: Yeah, I don’t think so. I’m making the new record right now with Joel Plaskett and I basically paid Joel to be that guy who says ‘lets put this hook in here’ but it’s great because I totally trust him. This is the first time I’ve paid a producer to produce the record and be part of the process. I’ve only worked with Chuck (Hoffman) before and that’s been amazing, but it was way more chill. He’s like, lets just try everything out and see how it goes. And I take a pretty strong production role in that kind of relationship.

 With the new record it’s been like ‘ok, Joel I want you to produce this record, I’m gonna play you my songs and you tell me what you think.’ It’s cool. I’ve definitely learned to step back and say ‘go with it, what do you think?’ and he’ll say ‘why don’t you do this, this or this’ and we really end up with some cool stuff. But the reason I think he’s such a great person for this kind of thing is that he’s a pretty good model of exactly what we’re talking about. Just kind of doing your own thing over a long period of time and have it pay off. It’s pretty friggin’ amazing to see his career develop and it’s pretty friggin’ well deserved. Working with him I realized just how hard he works. It’s pretty impressive. I’ve known him for a few years but now working with him closely it’s like he operates on a pretty high level. He can stay focused for so long, and listens so carefully and has great ideas. It’s pretty inspiring.

Joel and I have the same management and that’s kind of how we met. I knew him a little before but we started spending more time together because of our manager, and we’re both lucky because our manager isn’t the type of manager who says you should do this or that. She’s really supportive, she’s a really, really good manager

 I feel lucky too because I don’t have a label. My albums are released on my own label.

 US: How did you get started with that?

 DM: I just decided I wanted to put a logo on my first record. That was before I had distribution but I figured why not have a little novelty logo? I come up with a logo, came up with a name of my company and eventually the record got distribution. Just like any independent record it took a long time. I’d been selling it off the stage while touring. Once I’d done enough touring and sold enough copies of my record off stage and over the internet I made a pitch to a couple distribution companies. I said ‘listen, I’ve sold this many records, I’ve toured across the country and I want my record in stores.’ They really couldn’t ignore what I had done. It’s pretty ideal. I mean the only advantage that a label provides is that everything is in the same place; publishing and distribution. I don’t want to borrow money from a label, it’s not my style, I don’t like going into debt. I’m not a debt kind of dude [laughs] and basically it’s something they can hold over your head and I don’t want that. I’d rather spend less money or save money for along time or put it all on my visa cards. At lest it’s on my own terms and I’m not making hundred-thousand dollar records. If I needed that kind of dough I’d need a label but that’s not the kind of records I’m making

US: Your records still sound great regardless of the money behind them.

DM: Yeah, thanks, well you can make a good sounding record for cheap these days if you focus on what you’re doing. They do get more expensive as you go but they’re doable. As for a publicist you can basically hire a publicist yourself without having a label publish it and again, I like that because I get to choose instead of having it published by the label.

US: So you started as a one man show.

DM: It’s pretty cool. The management helps. It keeps everything together, and that’s the biggest step. I had a distributer and a publicist. Publicists are more a matter of  if you wanna send them money you can get them. Distribution is harder to access. Once you start touring it becomes a lot easier to access though. Management is a big step. They can put me in touch with agents, someone who would work out well with what I was after.

Everything is in place and everyone is working on stuff but my business isn’t floating their boat. How I like to work is invest in the long term. Build your team and get people close to you. So my records might not be making them a lot of money right now but the thinking is if it grows, eventually everything will pay off. As an artist you have to grow.

US: Doing an album with someone as famous as Joel Plaskett must come with certain expectations, do you feel like there are higher expectations out there for the new album?

DM: There was quite a bit of expectation in the last record because the record before was a big jump, it’s what helped me build a team and get some attention. This time there is more expectation because all the team behind it were in place before I started recording. This record will be done recording by about Christmas and we’re releasing it in April. So it gets done and there’s 4 months to release it, which is awesome, but I’ve never been this organized before [laughs]. It’s always been like the day before release and I’m going through the boxes to make sure the right records are inside.

This time I feel if there’s more expectation it’s because everything is in place to make it work. Joel is a great guy to work with because he focuses on the important stuff.

US: If there is added pressure it doesn’t seem to be getting under your skin.

DM: I guess I’ve just been more chill in general. I wrote a lot before this record. I had a really chill winter last year so I just wrote and wrote and wrote and got a whole bunch of stuff. I’ve been playing with the band more, developing the songs, so I feel good about it. To be totally honest I always hope for the best and expect the worst

I focus on making a great record and that’s all I focus on. It’s the other factors you can’t worry too much about. Like there’s so many records you hear and you think ‘this is going to be a huge record’ and it’s not and there’s another record you don’t think anything of and it becomes huge. There are x factors in the business that I’ve come to realize I have no control over. All I can do is put out the best record I can and I think this is going to be a really good record. I’m really excited about it. I’ve had more time to focus on the important things.

A huge part of my career is playing live. I put a lot of pressure on my records but I realize if I’m going to have a career, a 40 year career, I have to be a great live entertainer.

I love playing live too. I write songs to be played live. I love the fact that when you play a song live it exist in only that moment. I love records but there’s something unique about playing live.

That’s the other thing, I know it’s not the records that build my career. Ideally they will help and this new one is the best so far, but the live show is what reaches the most people. I mean what are the chances I’m going to be played on commercial radio? There’s like ten artists that get commercial radio time. Either it becomes super hip for young people, which doesn’t seem likely, or I have one song that sticks. That did happen to me a little bit with “When It Comes My Turn”. That song has done well. It’s been a huge part of building my career and I’ll always have that. I don’t mind the idea of playing that song night after night, year after year. That sounds great to me.

 US: “When it Comes My Turn” is a great song and I’ve noticed when you play it now it has evolved a lot from the recorded version, it almost has a different feel now.

DM: Yeah I went back and listened to it and I didn’t even realize how much it had changed, but that’s what happens with records. After time you play with it and change it until certain phrases are totally different.

US: Your lyrics are astounding to me. They are so simple and direct and evoke the desired emotion so well that it floors me. One of my favourites is a line from “Cape Breton” that goes “We’ll kiss like we kissed when we kissed the first time, with our minds on our hearts and our hearts on the line”.

DM: It’s funny you mention that because I’ll get little lines in my head and… not a lot of people have told me they like that one but I really like that one, that’s where the title of that record “On the Line” came from.

 US: You have a gift for being sincere and emotionally profound while keeping it simple.

DM: Yeah, well I’ve always loved guys like John Prine, people who are easy to understand…Don’t get me wrong, I love Bob Dylan, but a lot of his songs require multiple listens and some of them I don’t think even he knows what they’re about [laughs], I love his music but I knew from the get go that I wasn’t going to be that kind of lyricist. In high school you couldn’t pay me money to write a poem or write fiction because I was so embarrassed. As a writer I didn’t think I was good enough. I wasn’t poetic in a traditional sense, I wasn’t confident that I had that ability, so when I decided to write lyrics I knew I would write exactly how I talk or how I think.

It’s funny because I got into music by way of instrumental music, I never listened to lyrics. I don’t think I knew the lyrics to any songs until I was about grade twelve. Even all my favourite songs, like when I was super into Metallica and Guns n’ Roses, I could sing every guitar solo and every drum fill on every record, but I couldn’t tell you the lyrics. I just wasn’t a lyric guy. And even when I started playing music I decided I like to sing and if I’m going to sing I have to write lyrics so I slowly got into it. Now I’m so into it. I realize how important it is. I used to think if the melody is good enough you can say anything and a lot of people get away with saying a lot of foolish things but they often sound ok. It’s a really weird thing, sometimes the meaning of something is hard to understand but the sound is great. I think there’s a lot of choosing sounds. There’s nothing worse than hearing a singer use some word that sounds so stupid. Like no one ever uses it in speech. That’s one thing about Dylan he has so many awesome sounding words that’s just him riffing. It hardly makes sense but the words he’s chosen sound great. I like being more direct.

 US: Another song of yours with great lyrics is “When it Comes My Turn”.

 With lines like: “I worry about my money. I got bills that I can’t pay. I swear I’m more like my father everyday

and the chorus: “I’m getting old, but I’m not old yet. I’m already worried that I might forget, how to laugh, how to love. How to live, how to learn. I wanna die with a smile when it comes my turn”.

It speaks about something a lot of people can relate to. When you came up with those lines did you realize that you really had something profound that people would understand from their gut? Did you set out to write a song about growing old and coming to terms with it, or was it happenstance?

DM: It comes from weird places, you play and hum a melody and from humming syllables comes words. I didn’t say to myself ‘I’m going to write a song about getting old’, I had the melody and was humming it to myself on the bus one day and all of a sudden it came, “I’m getting old but I’m not old yet.”

 US: Like you work hard to facilitate that kind of thinking and then one day your muse just shits on your head with a formed idea?

DM: Exactly [laughs] the muse shits on your head. Those moments are a magical thing when it just comes to you. I wrote the entire chorus to that song on a bus trip. Once I have the chorus I can build the rest. It might take awhile but the song is kind of happening.

I feel lucky, It’s good to have a song that will be remembered even if I die now. I’m glad that’s the song people really like because it’s a totally positive song with a positive message. It’s something I thought about all the time. Everyone thinks about that, I always think about aging. I totally wrote that song thinking it would be a song that my generation would relate to, that quarter life crisis where you’re about to get a real job, you’re out of university and now you’re becoming an adult, trying to become the adult you want to be. But it’s totally had a different impact and the people who are drawn to that song are the people who have retired, people my parents age, 65 or older. That’s the funny thing, everybody can relate to it. Because the older you get the more your idea changes of what old is. When you’re a teenager people in their thirties seem ancient. I’m glad that’s taken place and most of the notes and feedback I’ve gotten regarding that song are from people in their 60’s. Like “I’m just going into retirement and trying to figure out how to retire in style and not get too bored with no job and stay feeling young.” People get used to going to a job every day and it’s a shock when they don’t have that. The Kids are gone, the house is empty and they don’t know how to fill their day. The song has totally become a song for senior fitness groups.

A cool thing happened the last time I was playing in P.E.I., a woman about my parent’s age came up to me after the show and said “I want to thank you for sending me the song and lyrics (for “When it Comes My Turn) because my whole family now performs it together at our reunions.”

I said “oh I remember that email you sent me. That’s very nice.”

She said “Yeah, we all get together in Saskatchewan and play it. My niece, Feist, plays guitar on it.”

 I said “Oh cool, your niece is named Feist, that’s a cool name.”

She says “Yeah, Leslie Feist.”

I’m like “You’re kidding, Leslie Feist plays “When it Comes My Turn” on guitar at family reunions?!”

That was the coolest thing, such a fun coincidence. The song has become a bit of a folk song and a lot of people are playing their own versions, which I love.

US: Not a lot of music is that universal

DM: Yeah, I  kind of feel, if anything, that young people don’t listen to my music, but a lot of older people come around. You can’t choose your audience, it just kind of happens. I’ve been at shows where people come up to me and the audience is mostly over 50, you don’t choose, but I like playing for anyone, I’m glad to. They are a wicked audience because there aren’t a lot of bands playing music that people that age, so they really get into it and I love that. That’s not my only audience but specifically because of that song there was a certain point where my main audience was older. It kind of spreads slowly and you have to have faith that it will.

US: There’s a lot going on in your records, but the songs themselves remain fairly simple standard structures, which I’m a big fan of, It’s hard to get much better than 3 or 4 chords and a lot of heart.

DM: I get such a kick out of that. One of the reasons I like writing songs so much is I love hearing other people play them or play on them. It’s so exciting when another guitar player comes up with a solo to one of my songs. I like writing songs that are easy to play, especially lately. I really dig an idea of 3 or 4 chord songs. It is hard to get better than that as long as the other elements are in place, the rhythm section is so important for that.

I picked up a guitar in my 3rd year university so I’m still pretty new to it. I used to play trumpet but once I moved to guitar and I learned my first two chords I wrote a song. I don’t do fancy finger work up the neck, I leave that to my lead guitar players. I mean John Prine consistently blows my mind with 3 chords over and over. Neil young is a great example too, because he does play solos but they are so ramshackle. Seeing him last year, I realized how amazing he is at guitar. He is such a visceral player.

Ultimately it’s all about finding your own voice. You can’t just ape someone else’s sound. It takes time to find out what kind of writer you are, what you want to write about and how you want to go about writing it. At this point, now that I’ve worked at it so long, I don’t think I could sound any different. I sound like me and that’s what I want.

When I start to write a song I sit down and I get obsessed with different types of music so I tend to jump around a lot with styles, which is probably a weakness. I have to learn to reel that in a bit. Most of my influences aren’t modern. I base my music on older forms. I’ll write a blues song or a jazz song or a three chord folk song because that’s the world I exist in. From song to song sometimes it’s hard for me to pull it together with different styles and make the songs sound consistent, but that’s where finding the right band comes in

US: Have you always played with the same group of guys?

DM: I’ve always had the same bass player and drummer and then gotten different players to fill out each song. This time there is five of us and Joel.

US: Do you like having a fixed group as your band?

DM: I like it for this record. If I had gotten a different rhythm section the songs would be too different. The rhythm parts on the last record are insane. I’m lucky to play with good players and Halifax is filled with great players.

US: There’s some great Youtube videos you’ve put out where it’s you and one or two people playing in your living room or back yard. That’s about as real as any performance gets.

DM: I love Youtube videos because everyone knows how awesome it feels to jam in your living room, but how can you translate that? You can record from your living room but there’s a certain aspect to the performance that is missing and Youtube is a cool way to watch music because there’s no distance. you see it as it is, if someone makes a mistake it stays there and that adds an intimacy. I love it. I want to do that for all my songs on the new record.

US: I wanted to get your opinion on spontaneity. Do you feel as an artist that it’s important to take your time and labour over the fine details or is it better to keep the freshness and emotion of the song intact by recording it when it’s still fresh?

DM: As the creator of the music you can get really bogged down by what you’re hearing as opposed to what the world is hearing. I listen to so much music from the 50s where they laid it down, they got one take. These guys were so good, they played every night and when they recorded it was exactly what they sound like and they were good enough to pull that off. There’s less mystery to that kind of recording. I mean there’s mystery like how are they so good and how are they doing whatever the hell they’re doing but the recordings are so real, there’s no mystery as to what they actually sound like, it’s all right there.  I wanted the band to get there.

We practiced a lot before we went into the studio and that was different. There isn’t as much questioning, there is a lot of stuff that changes but I don’t go over the mixes for months and months. Right now, there are two tracks on the album that we recorded live which was amazing. Joel’s studio is cool, it’s like a suped-up garage. It’s not all that big but the sound is great. And we were nailing it on the first take, it was a great feeling. The rehearsing helps. We’ve been able to move quickly. We haven’t had much choice because Joel is a busy dude but when he’s there he’s entirely there, no distractions.

This record is all on tape. Joel doesn’t use computers to record. Besides the advantage of how it sounds, the real advantage is the working method. You can’t fret about it too much, you cant drop it in or fix mistakes. if your in the middle of the phrase you cant do it, you can only over dub in certain sections or physically record over the tape. I like that element of it. It’s almost is starting to sound like Fleetwood Mac to me [laughs]. It sounds like the 70s. I thought it would sound more like the 50s but it sounds like the 70s. I think the fidelity of recording on tape has something to do with that. I’m having a really good time with it.

US: What happens after recording is done?

DM: We fly to Arizona to mix it and then back to Halifax to master it with Jay Lapoint.

US: Thanks a lot for taking the time to talk to me, most of our readers are artists and I’m sure they will find your story as inspiring as it is fascinating.

DM: I love conversations like this. I think it’s cool that your site is so free form and inclusive. It helps too that you know the music and know what you’re talking about. You’ve actually listened to my records. I’m used to sitting down for an interview and the guy goes “Okay, so tell me, what do you sound like?” [Laughs] That’s the worst.

the Phoenix Dress

phoenixillustration

Article by Isaac Thompson

Originating in Persian mythology, the phoenix is said to be a fire spirit that exists in the form of a large colourful bird. After a life span of 1000 years the bird builds itself a final resting place; a nest of twigs which ignites into flames. The bird dies in the resulting fire, reduced to ashes. This strange act of self immolation is not as it appears. It’s not an act of destruction but an act of rebirth. When the smoke clears a new phoenix arises, reborn, a brighter reflection of its former self.

This became the perfect metaphor for an idea floating around the head of Derrick Dixon, a Halifax based artist and student of the Nova Scotia College of Art and Design. For his NSCAD Independent Study he wanted to create a dress that he could transform using fire.

“I had an image in my head, or a thought, about transforming a dress through fire. I thought it was a powerful image. It wasn’t about destroying a dress through fire, more of transformation. Once I had the idea I couldn’t stop thinking about it.”

dress (18 of 23)

After the initial conception in December 2009, Dixon dedicated practically every waking moment to the execution and completion of the dress. He discovered that wool would be the best material to make the bulk of the dress with since it wouldn’t burn. He worked on the dress using wool and silk, donated to him by generous teachers and fellow students. The dress was designed with a cream and beige coloured wool outer layer laced with strings of sewing pattern paper. Derrick’s vision was to ignite the paper thus removing the stitches, the wool would drop away to reveal a new dress made of brightly colored silk. All of this would take place while the dress was being worn by a model.

Dixon was eager to work in the field of fashion even though his previous experiences were more in the realm of sculpture and visual art. Dixon saw the potential of fashion as an art after he discovered the phenomenal mixture of performance art and fashion by American artist Nick Cave (no, not the singer).

“I don’t really follow fashion. I’ve always been interested in fashoion but I never really followed it. I started reading a lot about it since I was making a dress and I’ve always thought there was something more that could happen in fashion. I’m interested in pushing it into the realms of art. That’s what interests me.”

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By April 10th, 2010, Derrick had designed and fashioned the piece and the ambitious Phoenix Dress project ready to go. Dixon assembled a crew of approximately 20 volunteers made up of colleagues and friends and brought them all to Lawrencetown, Nova Scotia. The artistic experiment was conducted in a scenic, wooded area loaded with atmosphere. The landscape was strewn with new growth poking through deadfall trees, a perfect location to push the phoenix imagery even further.

Dixon had the event planned out much more than a simple fashion shoot, he wanted it to be a visual feast, a true work of art. Every element of the project was carefully selected to have meaning and enhance the concept as a whole, Dixon conceived an earth tone/natural motif that he and his style crew were able to run with. Stylist Gary Markle Designed accessories by combining jewelry with natural plant life materials found on site. Model Haley Thomas’s makeup was designed by Michelle Alerie to compliment the earthy tones of the dress with touches of color alluding to the dress’ fiery transformation.

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makeup

Dixon wanted his model’s hair to consist of many tight braids and bangs that needed to stay firm. Hairspray couldn’t be used as it is an accelerant, so Hairstylist Rosslyn Mackay improvised, using egg whites to keep the model’s hair in place (a trick famously used by punk rockers to keep their Mohawks perky).

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Dixon made very clear that health and safety was priority number one. He was well aware that the use of fire on a dress being worn by a live model brought up certain safety concerns and he had assembled a five person health and safety team to ensure everything went smoothly. He had carefully planned every step and knew that the wool base of the dress made it safe to be worn but still took every conceivable precaution.

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Once Thomas’ hair and makeup were finished, Dixon and Markle dressed her and she was taken to the shoot’s location. The moment Dixon had been waiting five months for was now at hand. There was an excitement in the air as Thomas entered the location to thunderous applause. Dixon had worked so hard to realize the Pheonix Dress and there was a sense of awe and interest in the faces of everyone involved. The dress looked dazzling, the model radiant and the location perfect. The weather was dark and overcast, threatening to rain at any moment. Thomas was a trooper, posing for photos in the dress while everyone around her was bundled up in winter jackets and mittens. After a few preliminary photos Thomas was given a blanket to warm up while the final preparations were made.

The Phoenix Dress was finally going to go up in flames.

jewelry.hair.makeup

The health and safety team watched on, extinguishing tools in hand, as Dixon lit each strand of paper. Orange and yellow flame consumed the paper releasing selected sections of the dress. Every strand was lit until at last the phoenix had risen. A vibrant rainbow of silk emerged to the cheers of everyone in attendance. And as soon as the phoenix had risen the rain began to fall.

derrickhaley

Derrick Dixon will be displaying the Phoenix Dress live tomorrow night (April 21st 2010) at NSCAD’s 20th annual Wearable Arts Show. The show will be at Halifax’s Olympic community Centre (2304 Hunter street). Doors open at 7:30, show starts at 8:00. Tickets are 15$ in advance and can be purchased at Venus Envy and the  NSCAD supply store or $20 at the door. The show is a benefit for people living with AIDS in Nova Scotia.

Watch the burning of the Phoenix Dress with music by Tomcat Combat’s Kevin Mombourquette.

CREW LIST:

Director/Producer/Designer

- Derrick Dixon

Model

- Haley Thomas

Assistant to model

- Gary markle

Assistant Director

- Amelie Proulx

Health & Safety

- Anne Pickard – Head Officer

- Erin MacKay

- Charlotte Mongraw

- Matthew Mongraw

- Gilles LaChance

Photographers

- Meghan Whitton

- Katelin Lamond

Videographer

- Kevin Fraser

Assistants to Photographers

- Kerri MacLellan

- Dori Palmiere

Video Edited by

- Stephanie Young

Music by

- Kevin Mombourquette

Stylist

- Gary Markle

Prop Makers

- Amelie Proulx

- Sarah Maloney

- Barbara Lounder

Hair by

- Rosslyn MacKay

Makeup by

- Michelle Alerie

Drivers

- Dori Palmiere

- Stewart Johnston

- Gary Markle

- Kevin Fraser

- Charlotte Mongraw

- Gilles LaChance

- Lorraine Plourde

Location Provider

- Andrew  Maccallum

group

Comedy Club Metal – Johnny Dick Project & Zero Split!

 

Friday April 16th 2010
10:30pm – Jokers Comedy Club on Spring Garden Rd.

Review – Isaac Thompson
Photos/Video – Tiffany Naugler

Jokers Comedy Club on Spring Garden has decided that folk might appreciate their laughs spiked with a little hard rock and heavy metal, so on Friday April 16th , Halifax was treated to Jay Malone (Nova Scotia’s comedy champ) followed by the double-barrelled-buckshot-stylings of Johnny Dick Project and Zero Split.

Now, since we were only asked to cover the music portion of the night, Tiffany and I didn’t catch Mr. Malone’s act. I did, however, hear first-hand accounts of people laughing until their asses fell off (which no doubt will result in some lengthy and painful reconstruction surgery).

Johnny Dick Project was the first band of the night to be unleashed and those of you familiar with the Halifax rock scene may recognize JDP’s lead singer Heather Doran from the band Halcyon. She is a magnetic front-woman with a low, raspy voice forged by the gods of 90s rock. The music backing Doran is an eclectic mix of blues, grunge and heavy metal. Heather’s deep soulful vocals are backed up by the two guitar players (Rick Ferris and John Macdougal) who provide straight ahead rock harmonies and guttural speed metal screams. The strange vocal mix works best during the climactic peaks of their heavier tunes.

Drummer Ian Kean was able to switch from a typical rock 4/4 timing to a speed-metal, double-bass pitter-patter quite nicely. Bass player Kirk Shane was a blast to watch, dancing around the stage in an energetic seizure-hop that was comparable to the universal “I have to pee really badly” dance. I liked his enthusiasm. I always enjoy rock shows more when the band members lose themselves in the songs with a total lack of self-consciousness. That sort of euphoria is as contagious as a yawn (or the clap).

VIDEO:

 

After a short breather, Zero Split was released from their cage like the mighty Rancor. You Star Wars fans may remember that the Rancor is described as “a walking collection of fangs and claws, with no thought other than to kill and eat.”, which is as pretty good description of Zero Split as well.


I’ve seen Zero Split a ton of times back when they were known as Janus and I’ve always enjoyed their music. It was great to see these guys back in action. Their songs reference some of the best bands heavy metal has to offer. I hear everything from Tool and the Deftones to Pantera and Slayer in their music. They aren’t afraid to switch up styles within any given song giving them an epic feel you don’t find often in local clubs.

Zero Split’s vocalist, who goes by the handle of Hemo, is fantastic. I was in total awe of his elastic vocal abilities. His voice can come off as soaring and beautiful, almost classical sounding, and at other times he’s screaming like a werewolf baying at the moon. Hemo is an extremely fun front-man to watch. His onstage persona is trance-like. He meditatively slithers around as he delivers one seemingly effortless mind-blowing vocal line after another.

VIDEO:

It was a short night of rock & roll but it got the job done. Both bands had a lot to offer and were great examples of how diverse the Halifax music scene is. Like I said, euphoria is contagious and it’s good to know there are so many bands in town eager to spread the disease.

_____________________

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Kestrels, Ocean Towers, Baketones & The Voice of Russia – Gus’ Pub March 5th 2010

a collaborative article from Unfiltered Smoke and Noisography (formerly Post-Rock Love Affair)

ReviewIsaac Thompson (Guest writing for Noisography.com)
VideoDaniel Nightingale & Tiffany Naugler
PhotosTiffany Naugler

Halifax has always been home to a diverse group of musicians. In this city there are artists of all types delivering tunes in any style you please. The show I attended last night (March 5th 2010) at Gus’ pub was indicative of just that. The four bands that played (the Voice of Russia, the Baketones, Ocean Towers and Kestrels) all sounded completely different from each other, but it wasn’t awkward or disjointed it really gave the night a well rounded, eclectic feel.

Kestrels!
http://www.myspace.com/kestrelskestrels
Ocean Towers!
http://www.myspace.com/oceantowers
Voice of Russia!
http://www.myspace.com/thevoiceofrussia
Baketones!
http://www.myspace.com/thebaketones

The night opened with the debut of Voice of Russia. The first thing I noticed about them, besides their massively complicated looking setup of effects pedals, was how much stage presence they had for a new band. The Voice of Russia owned the stage during their set, especially when their songs would build to fever pitch climaxes. Their sound took me by surprise too. The songs were ethereal sounding yet very danceable. They made good use of trippy delay effects on the vocals, giving their sound an unearthly quality that was unlike anything I’ve ever heard preformed at Gus’ Pub. I look forward to hearing more from these guys.

Next up were the Baketones who barrelled through a set of down and dirty rock and roll. They were by far the showiest band of the night and their set was nothing short of electric. Their first song, an explosive cover of the Yardbird’s “Train Kept A-Rollin”, was a perfect introduction to what followed. Their sound was like a cross between the Who, the Mc5 and a package of firecrackers.

The Baketones’ keyboard player, Rob Corrigan, blew me away. He strutted onstage dressed in coveralls with an old plastic keyboard strapped to him like a guitar. The Energy on the stage was unbelievable, especially for so early in the night, and Mr. Corrigan performed like a man possessed. During their last song, Rob began bashing his keyboard with his fists, sending keys and various bits of plastic flying in the air. Not content with merely disabling the keyboard, he flung it off the stage and it landed in the middle of the dance floor. Its impact sent plastic debris in all directions like a Fisher Price hand grenade. While the band pounded out the last sustained chords of the song one of the waiters approached Rob with what I thought was a broom, turns out it was a baseball bat. Rob used the bat to bash the ever-loving shit out what was left of his keyboard and then handed the bat off to audience members to finish the job. It was really, really badass.

After a bit of a delay due to a busted amp we were treated to Ocean Towers, who again sent the night in totally different direction. Ocean Towers were pure unabashed stoner rock and I loved them for it. They slowed it way down and cranked it way up delivering Sabbath style grooves you could get lost in for hours. It was a nice departure. Their songs barrelled along like a road trip in the desert. The band was tight and played well off of each other. Their set came at just the right point in the night for me. It was nice to take a breather after seeing the destructive bombast of the previous band.

The last band of the night was Kestrels. They brought a 90s shoe gazer style to the proceedings. Their music managed to be both laid-back and energetic. They had sweet pop melodies lurking beneath a wall of effects laden guitar in the vein of My Bloody Valentine. The song writing in Kestrels was solid, they had some really nice hooks and they played their set with spitfire jubilance. Kestrel’s set was short and sweet, nicely capping of one of the most musically diverse evenings at the pub I’ve ever experienced.

Horror Movie Top Ten List #3: Vampire Movies

"Get off my lawn you damn kids!"

"Get off my lawn you damn kids!"

by Isaac Thompson

Is there anything better than a great vampire movie? Probably, but for the purpose of this article let’s say no, there isn’t.

In this entry of my Horror Movie series, I have decided to celebrate my all time favourite vampire movies and it was the opposite of easy (whatever that is). There are so many great vampire movies that it was impossible to narrow it down to just 10, so I cheated a little as you’ll see.

But before I talk about the good ones, I’ve gotta spend some time talking about:

Twilight: The Elephant in the Crypt (or: Rant in the Key of Sparkling Vampires):

Have you ever thought to yourself  that vampires are pretty neat and all, but it would be way better if instead of being scary blood-sucking monsters who rise from the grave to terrorize the living , they were pale underwear models who’d stay up all night cuddling and talking about their feelings?  Have you ever felt in your gut that instead of wielding their awesome powers for evil, vampires should formally introduce themselves to your parents and make googly eyes at you ’til you feel like throwing up?

Of course you haven’t, that would be ludicrous…right? Right?

Vampires are the hottest thing right now. I recently visited a local middle school and before I was escorted off the property by the police, I got literally thousands of testimonials about how much the kids ‘dig’ “Twilight” and how ‘far out’ and ‘groovy’ they find vampires now. Vampires have replaced zombie flicks as the current horror sub-genre that has been drug out of the ghetto, prettied up and put on display for the masses by the big brain-deficient parasite that is the Hollywood marketing machine. If you don’t know by now, everything that Hollywood touches it destroys. Thanks to “Twilight” we’re at the beginning of a tedious and predictable slope.

What happens now is Hollywood will spend the next few years releasing vampire movies, each one more watered down than the last until the whole thing caves in on itself and every ounce of integrity has been drained from the genre (They did it to zombie movies). It wont be long until no one gives a shit anymore and vampire movies spend the next 20 years crawling out from the muck Stephanie Meyer so gleefully buried them in with her shit books and her shit movies.

The new trendy breed of vampire aren’t interested in being scary, they’d rather look sexy and fall in love. This neo-neutered-vampire can be found everywhere in today’s world. On Television there is the brutally popular vampire series “True Blood” which has inexplicably stayed on the air longer than the actually good HBO series’ “Deadwood” and “Lucky Louie” (If “Entourage” hasn’t proven to you that HBO airs terrible shows just like every other network, I submit exhibit B: ‘True Blood’). There is the tweeny “Cirque du Freak” book series and lame looking movie adaptation “The Vampire’s Assistant”, something called “the Vampire Diaries” (I’m sure the less I know about that one, the better) and of course, the multi-media phenomenon that is “Twilight”. Stephanie Meyer’s series about vampire puppy love has sold over 70 million copies (!) and the film version made $382 million worldwide (!!!). The sequel “New Moon” is currently in theaters and has been breaking box office records all over the place (FML).

If you’ve read any of my earlier horror movie articles you know I’m not a fan of “Twilight”. You also now know that all of my “Twilight” jokes in the previous articles were leading to the lame sight gag above. Truth be told I’d never read “Twilight” or watched the movie. I’d read enough about it and seen enough clips during the blitzkrieg of promotion that followed the film’s release to know I didn’t like it.  Still I figured I should at least watch the movie for this article. So I did just that.

I was not swayed.

I’d like to share a few choice thoughts:

1. I think the Feminist publication “Bitch Magazine” put it best when they poignantly dubbed “Twilight” ‘Abstinence Porn’.

2. I know a lot of people say “Oh, ‘Twilight’ isn’t so bad, it’s a beautiful love story” (yes it is that bad and no it’s not a beautiful love story). Or “Come on, it’s for teenage girls” (this movie makes ‘Hanna Montana’ and ‘The Wizards of Waverly Place’ look like the most riveting hour on television). The truth is; “Twilight” is the most sorry excuses for a love story I’ve ever seen. Sure, Bella is in love with Edward. I know this because she spends like 3/4ths of the movie telling him how wonderfully dreamy he is. But the thing is, Edward never tells Bella such things, he simply wants her. Although it’s her blood he hungers for instead of her sex (by God’s wounds, what a brilliant twist!). He doesn’t seem to be ‘in love’ with her, he just wants her hot body. Is that what today’s teenage girls think love is? A self obsessed, good looking guy who couldn’t give a damn about his conquest other than the fact that she makes him horny (or toothy) ? Is that what passes as a love story these days?  *crickets*

3. The acting is awful. It’s like the most sickening episode of “Dawson’s Creek” ever filmed. Robert Pattinson’s acting ability consists of one silly face. I’m pretty sure Zoolander was his acting teacher.

Twilander

1 picture = 1000 words

4. The worst thing about “Twilight” is that it’s about vampires. I love vampires and twilight is ruining them. The vampires in twilight don’t kill people, they apparently eat animals but we never see that because it would border too much on cool. Instead they play baseball during thunder storms and when exposed to sunlight they SPARKLE LIKE DIAMONDS!!!!

5. When a vampire is exposed to sunlight it bursts into flames, period.

6. After two hours of nothing happening the movie ends and the self loathing begins. I’m seriously considering getting a refund on my tickets to see “Twilight 2: Zoolander’s Revenge!”.

Zoolight

Little known fact: "Zoolander" is actually a better vampire movie than "Twilight"

There, I feel a lot better. Now on with the list of the best Vampire movies.

Top Ten List # 3/10 : Top Ten Vampire Movies:

Vampire Movie 101:

- Vampires (or vampire type creatures) have existed in human folklore for about as long as humans have existed. Every culture has their variation on the vampire myth. Back in the days before we realized that sexiness makes everything better, vampires were depicted as bloated, smelly walking corpses. In 18th century Europe, people blamed all of their problems (plagues) on vampires. In those days it wasn’t too uncommon to see your friendly neighbourhood vampire slayer digging up graves in your local bone yard in order to drive a stake through the hearts of those mischievous corpses while a crowd of onlookers cheered him on.

- Vampires quickly made their way into the arts. Famous dead guy Edvard Munch depicted one in his painting “Vampyrin” in 1893. The earliest known literature involving vampires was the poem “The Vampire” (1748) by Heinrich August Ossenfelder. The first fictional prose concerning vampires was “The Vampyre” (1819) by John Polidori. This novel was originally erroneously credited to Lord Byron (Polidori was actually Byron’s personal physician). Polidori conceived his novel as part of a “who can come up with the scariest story” pissing contest held by a group of bored authors. The winner of said contest was 18 year old Mary Shelly whose story “Frankenstein” you may be familiar with. In 1845 a guy named James Malcolm Rymer wrote a penny dreadful serial story called “Varney the Vampire”. It was extremely popular in it’s day and it marked the first time a vampire was shown as a tragic figure as opposed to a demonic monster.

"Vampyrin" by Edvard Munch (1893)

"Vampyrin" by Edvard Munch (1893)

- What really got the ball rolling for the vampire was Bram Stoker’s “Dracula” (1897). It is easily the most popular, important and influential bit of vampire fiction ever conceived. Stoker was the first guy to stumble onto the inherent sexual metaphor of the exchange of body fluids that takes place in an encounter with a vampire. In Stoker’s novel Vampirism is treated as a disease (our heroes combat Dracula’s tainted bite with constant blood transfusions) and thus was a relatable metaphor in old syphilis ridden Victorian Europe. Another stroke of genius in Stoker’s inspired book is the main character’s namesake. Dracula is named after a real historical figure, Vlad III, Prince of Wallachia. Vlad’s nicknames included “Vlad the Impaler” (which I think was due to his habit of impaling people and not his Romanian hospitality) and Dracula (a sort of sir-name which means “son of the dragon” or “don’t fuck with me”). This historical aspect helped imbed the legend and give the book a cool “this totally actually happened” feel.

- Here’s some more non-movie Vampire fiction of note:

Books: Richard Matheson – I am Legend (1954), Stephen King – ‘Salem’s Lot (1975),  Anne Rice – Interview with the Vampire (1976), Whitley Strieber – The Hunger (1981)

TV: Dark Shadows (1966), The Night Stalker (1972), Buffy The Vampire Slayer (1997), Angel (1999), Hellsing (2002)

Salemslothardcover

One of the best damn horror novels ever written.

___________________________________________________________________________

# 10. Vampires

vampiresjc

[1998]

Starring: James Woods, Daniel Baldwin, Sheryl Lee, Thomas Ian Griffith, Maximilian Schell

Written by: Screenplay: Don Jakoby, based on the novel by John Steakley

Directed by: John Carpenter

What it’s about: Vatican sponsored vampire killer Jack Crow (James Woods) is the sole survivor of his crew after a deadly attack (slaughter) by the world’s oldest and most powerful vampire. Jack assembles a rag-tag team to stop the vampire from obtaining the all powerful such and such.

Why it’s good: “Vampires” is a film with a very straight forward plot that really serves as just an excuse to show some of the most badass, badassery ever shown in the genre of vampire ass kicking. James Woods is dead on as the hardened, smartass action hero who’s quick with the one-liners (and most of Mr.Woods’ awesome one-liners were ad-libbed). He acts with a playful enthusiasm and has his badass snarl down to a science.

“Vampires” plays out much more like an action packed western than vampire movie, but John Carpenter has enough respect and experience with the genre to be able to deliver some great horror moments. The “vampire slayers at work” scene that opens the film is a great example. John Carpenter is a horror fan’s best friend.

# 9. Shadow of the Vampire

shadow3

[2000]

Starring: John Malkovich, Willem Dafoe, Udo Kier and Cary Elwes

Written by: Steven A. Katz

Directed by: E. Elias Merhige

What it’s about: A wildly imaginative retelling of the filming of F.W. Murnau’s 1922 masterpiece “Nosferatu”. in the film, Murnau (played by Malkovich) hires a crazy method actor named Max Schreck (Dafoe) to portay Count Orlok the vampire. Schreck’s strange behavior seems to creep out everyone he meets. The crew of the film begin to suspect Schreck is an actual vampire.

Why it’s good: This movie has one of those awesomely cool ‘why-didn’t-I-think-of-that’ concepts and that should be enough to get anyone to watch it. The two leads; John Malkovich and Willem Dafoe are on top of their game. Dafoe does a dead on portrayal of Count Orlok/Max Schreck. It’s one of those out-of-body performances where the actor seems to disappear in the character.

# 8. Interview With the Vampire

interview-vampire

[1994]

Starring: Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, Kirsten Dunst, Antonio Banderas and Christian Slater

Written by: Anne Rice, based on her novel

Directed by: Neil Jordan

What it’s about: A reporter snags the interview of a lifetime, a real (not so) live vampire! The vampire, named Louis, tells of his 200 years of existance with his vampire companions; the eternally young Claudia, and the evil trickster Lestat.

Why it’s good: The epic scope of “Interview With a Vampire” gives it the feel of a sprawling history lesson…With vampires! The storyline spans 200 years in different American historical settings.  Each era shows the movie exploring new moods without ever losing the overall tone of the picture.

The casting of Tom Cruise as Lestat was a controversial one at the time (even Anne Rice publicly complained) but I have to hand it to him, he did a fine job, as did Brad Pitt and Christian Slater. Far and away the best performance in this movie is by (believe it or not) Kirsten Dunst as Claudia. Her performance is very disturbing in its realism and honesty. She captures the inner emptiness of a centuries old soul trapped forever in the body of a little girl with maturity and a real sadness .

# 7. The Lost Boys

Lost_Boys,_The

[1987]

Starring: Jason Patric, Kiefer Sutherland, Corey Haim, Corey Feldman and Jami Gertz

Written by: Janice Fischer, James Jeremias and Jeffrey Boam

Directed by: Joel Schumacher

What it’s about: Michael and Sam Emerson move to a California town with their mother. Michael then ends up hanging out with the wrong croud; I’m talking the undead, bloodsucking, sun-fearing crowd. It’s up to Sam and his new pals, two self proclaimed “vampire hunters”,  to stop the curse. Which is really hard when one of the vampires you’re trying kill is Jack fucking Bauer!

Why it’s good: “The Lost Boys” is fun, thrilling and hilarious. It’s a hard combo to pull off.  It’s a twisted take on Peter Pan with a rock and roll soundtrack. Most 80’s babies like myself know it well. You don’t find this much entertainment, smarts and style in one movie very often.

# 6. From Dusk Till Dawn

duskdawn

[1996]

Starring: Harvey Keitel, George Clooney, Quentin Tarantino, Juliette Lewis, Ernest Liu, Fred Williamson, Tom Savini, Cheech Marin and Salma Hayek

Written by: Quentin Tarantino, based on a concept by Robert Kurtzman

Directed by: Robert Rodriguez

What it’s about: Richie and Seth Gecko are two crooks on the run from the cops. They take a family hostage and head towards Mexico, specifically a bar called The Titty Twister, and find themselves smack dab in the middle of a vampire feeding frenzy.

Why it’s good: With “From Dusk Till Dawn” you get two movies in one. It’s part Tarantino gangster flick, part over-the-top splatter picture. Tarantino’s script is typically smart and super-cool, and Robert Rodriguez is one of the best directors mainstream Hollywood has to offer. He does a seamless job at merging a gritty crime flick with an “Evil Dead” style orgy of gore.

This movie marks the first starring role for George Clooney and it’s one of my favourite parts he’s played. He portrays Seth Gecko with a cool, detached confidence in contrast to Tarantino’s manic depiction of little brother Richie (easily Quentin’s best role). It’s a big, loud, rock ‘n’ rollin vampire movie. Nothing quite like it.

# 5. Martin

martin

[1977]

Starring: John Amplas, Lincoln Maazel, Christine Forrest and Tom Savini

Written by and directed by: George A. Romero

What it’s about: Martin is a nice young boy with a severe problem: He believes himself to be an undead creature of the night. This belief drives him to stalk the night, murdering women with a razor-blade so that he can feed on their blood.

Why it’s good: George “I created the entire sub-genre of zombie movies” Romero is one of horror history’s all time great social satirists. He makes films with a purpose and a message. He’s responsable for some of the finest horror flicks ever including the original “Night of the Living Dead” and “Dawn of the Dead”. Martin is one of Romero’s best and most overlooked films.

Romero’s gritty film isn’t about true vampires in the classic sense, it’s a look into the mind of a disturbed young sociopath who is so mad he thinks he’s immortal. It’s like “Dracula” meets “A Clockwork Orange”.

Tom Savini is the Frank Sinatra of gore and nails it like a night at The Sands. There are some brilliant set-pieces of splatter and hemoglobin  in this film. It’s all played as real as can be and some scenes are truly hard to watch.

# 4. Fright Night

petervincenteh3

[1985]

Starring: Chris Sarandon, William Ragsdale and Roddy McDowall

Written by and directed by: Tom Holland

What it’s about: All American High School kid, Charlie Brewster has a problem: His new next-door neighbour is a vampire. Charlie’s parents and peers think he’s crazy so he proves them wrong by doing something totally un-crazy: He asks Peter Vincent (an actor who was famous for portraying a fearless vampire killer in his old films) to help him slay the beast. Pure 80’s magic.

Why it’s good:Created by Tom Holland (the same mad genius who brought us the genre classic “Child’s Play”), “Fright Night” is a simple old fashioned vampire tale with a few modern twists. Sure, it has great special effects, synthey 80’s music and slick directing, but it doesn’t rely on those elements alone. “Fright Night” is more content to let the engrossing story and creepy atmosphere do the talking. The acting is great and all of the main characters are well defined, but the real star of this gem is Roddy Mcdowall who plays Peter Vincent. His performance is extraordinary. He delivers his lines with a gusto and enthusiasm that’s laced with a heartbreaking vulnerability. Robert Pattinson would do good to take note.

# 3. Near Dark

near-dark

[1987]

Starring: Adrian Pasdar, Jenny Wright, Lance Henriksen, Jenette Goldstein and Bill Paxton

Written by: Eric Red and Kathryn Bigelow

Directed by: Kathryn Bigelow

What it’s about: Boy meets vampire, boy is bitten by vampire, boy joins roaming gang of vampires.

Why it’s good: When I watch this movie today I’m still shocked by how gritty and uncompromising it is. “Near Dark” is a vampire movie full of innovations and surprises. What starts out as a love story quickly becomes a roller coaster ride through Hell. The gang of vampires, led by world-class badass Lance Henriksen, are viciously tough. The bar scene is classic and Bill Paxton’s performance is legendary.

# 2. Dracula

Dracula

[1922] / [1931] / [1958] / [1992]

Starring: Max Schreck / Bela Lugosi / Christopher Lee / Gary Oldman

Written by: Henrik Galeen / Garrett Fort / Jimmy Sangster / James V. Hart / Based on the novel by Bram Stoker

Directed by: F. W. Murnau / Tod Browning / Terence Fisher / Francis Ford Coppola

What it’s about: The original gangsta, Count Dracula, has decided Transylvania has nothing more to offer him and makes the move to England. He spends his time in his new hometown making friends and having sexy late night rendezvous with the hottest girls around. Everything in Big Count D.’s (un)life is totally groovy until that prick Van Helsing rolls into town wearing garlic around his neck and thumping his bible. A ghoul just can’t catch a break!

Why it’s good: For my number two spot (heh heh, number two…) I decided to make it a four-way tie between four different interpretations of Bram Stoker’s uber-important “Dracula”. Each one of these interpretations was vital in the time period they were released. Each one brought something new to the table, not only in regards to vampires but horror as a whole. Watching these four films is like a “Coles Notes” version of horror movie history, starting in the golden age of film, with F.W. Murnau’s “Nosferatu”.

“Nosferatu” was extremely important in the development of horror films. During the silent era of Hollywood there were semi-horror films such as “The Phantom of the Opera” and “London after Midnight”, but they would only dance around horrific subject matter and any supernatural threat was eventually revealed to be “just a dream” or they’d throw you the time tested “Scooby Doo” ending. Germany on the other hand were pushing the boundaries in both content and visuals. Films such as “The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari”, “The Golem” and “Nosferatu” were doing things no American film dared. Made before most living people were born, “Nosferatu” has aged better than most films of it’s day. It has an impressively chilling atmosphere and Count Orlok is still, hands down, the creepiest vampire ever.

Interestingly, at least to me, the makers of “Nosferatu” never got around to getting permission to make a movie about Dracula (hence the name change from ‘Dracula’ to ‘Nosferatu’) and were sued by Bram Stoker’s widow. Long story short, the filmmakers lost the case and all copies of “Nosferatu” were ordered destroyed. Luckily a few copies survived and the movie is readily available today!  Film Industry: 1, Intellectual Property: 0

In 1931,  Universal studios was a small underdog studio still trying to find its place in Hollywood. The company had hits in the silent era with their resident movie star and “man of a thousand faces” Lon Chaney, but the invention of talkies changed the game and Universal were struggling to keep up. Carl Laemmle Jr. was newly in charge of production and needed to carve out a niche for his father’s company.

Laemmle was a fan of suspense and horror stories, and when he saw “Nosferatu” he knew exactly what his next picture would be. He secured the rights from Stoker’s widow  and began putting together a team to construct “Dracula”, America’s first supernatural talkie thriller. He was heavily influenced by “Nosferatu” and used that and the hit broadway production of “Dracula” as blueprints. He went so far as to hire much of the cast from the play including Bela Lugosi in his seminal role as the Count.

“Dracula” is outdated in many ways, but still a powerful film. There is absolutely no musical score and the staging is much more like a stage play than a movie, but Bela Lugosi’s amazing talent and charisma shines as brightly today as it did on audiences in it’s day. Lugosi’s portayal has been copied, parodied and regurgitated so many times that it is part of modern mythology. Laemmle’s intuition was dead on, “Dracula” was a huge hit and paved the way for every horror movie that followed. Soon, Universal became the horror studio, releasing classics such as “Frankenstein”, “The Bride of Frankenstein”, “The Mummy” and “The Wolfman”.

Interestingly, well to me anyway, a Spanish version of the film was produced simultaneously. The American crew would film by day, the Spanish crew at night: Same lot, same sets. In many respects the Spanish version is superior to the classic American one. It’s edgier in its depiction of violence and the camera work is much more adventurous and exciting.

Fast forward to 1957, this time it’s the U.K.’s chance to change the face of the horror film. Hammer Studios was quickly becoming the late 50’s answer to Universal Studios. They were hot off the heels of their hit “The Curse of Frankenstein” starring Peter Cushing as Victor Frankenstein and Christopher Lee as his monster. Hammer was re-making classic horror films in vivid colour, with amped up violence and sex. The rich red blood, the bulging bussoms, the gross makeup effects; Hammer’s horror combined gothic themes with the colourful comic book scares of E.C. Comic’s Tales From the Crypt series.

Dracula was a natural follow-up to “The Curse of Frankenstein”. Christopher Lee was cast as The Count, and Peter Cushing as Van Helsing. The film (titled “The Horror of Dracula” in the west to avoid confusion with Universal’s “Dracula”) was a revelation. Where Bela Lugosi played the character as a sophisticated gentleman with evil tendancies, Christopher Lee played the big “D” with the fury and intensity of a wolverine. A true force to be reckoned with.

The Dracula ritual came full circle in 1992 with the most faithful adaption to date. An all star cast of respected actors (and Keanu Reeves) combined with impressive modern effects amping up the sex and violence one step further. Gary Oldman’s Dracula is a tortured soul; denied love, peace and death. His Dracula is in constant pain, he finds no joy in his vampiric activities, only the brief satisfaction of transfering his immortal pain to his victims.

Director Francis Ford Coppola’s respect to his source material is impressive and yet he still makes nods to the films that came before his. There are homages in the film to “Nosferatu”, “Dracula” and”The Horror of Dracula”.

Being one of the most important literary characters ever, Dracula made the vampire what it is today (for better or worse). We haven’t seen the last of him. One of these days someone will show us a different side of the character and audiences will fall in love with Dracula all over again.

# 1. Let The Right One In

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[2008]

Starring: Kåre Hedebrant, Lina Leandersson and Per Ragnar

Written by: John Ajvide Lindqvist, based on his novel

Directed by: Tomas Alfredson

What it’s about: The only soul young, introverted Oskar can relate to doesn’t really have a soul. She’s a vampire. And she’s afraid she might love him back.

Why it’s good: In one of the greatest ironies of our time, my absolute favourite vampire movie and my absolute least favourite have many similarities in their plots. They were even released around the same time. It also helps to further my earlier point about how the American film industry is often miles behind the curve when it comes to the horror genre.

Like “Twilight”,  the beautiful, quiet Swedish movie “Let the Right One In” is a story of young love and vampires. The difference is; everywhere “Twilight” goes horribly wrong, “Let The Right One In” goes horribly right. Every stake is hit firmly on it’s head. The love story is played with complete honesty and layers of tragedy that the American industry seems afraid to touch on. The acting is top notch, the script doesn’t have a sour note. Most importantly, the rich history of the vampire legend is treated with total respect.

It’s a love story without the commercial “sexiness” of its American counterparts. It’s directed in a refreshingly quiet oldschool way. You wont find quick cuts and closeups during action scenes, the camera sits still as the action unfolds before us. There is an anxious anticipation that builds to some intense horror setpieces including a finale that will knock your socks off your ass. The young leads completely rule in this film. Although it is about children, it is the farthest thing from childish. The concepts are heavy, the story-line is deeply engrossing and the violence is brutal.

I don’t want to give too much away about this movie because there are probably a lot of you out there who havent seen it yet. I’ll leave you with this: It is the smartest and most satisfying vampire movie I’ve ever seen. It left me thinking about it for weeks. See it before Hollywood gets the bright idea to remake it as a “sexy” music video for tweenage twits.

This Just In: Hollywood is currently planning a remake of “Let the Right One In”….be afraid, be very afraid.

Somewhat like this article? Got some time to kill? Check out my last two entries:

Horror Movie Top Ten List # 1: Slasher Movies

Horror Movie Top Ten List # 2: Giant Monster Movies

The Definitive, Indisputable and Infallible List of the Unquestionably Best Rock Music of the 2000’s

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a list by Isaac Thompson (Who holds these truths to be self-evident)

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Disclaimer: There has been a little bit of controversy over these “Decade in Review” lists we’ve been posting. Some of our contributors have been getting flack for posting their opinions and I don’t think that’s fair. I know a lot of people say that if you post something on the internet you’re asking for criticism, but I say that’s horseshit. How do I know that? I know because I am directly asking for criticism.

I’m the type who is right tickled by controversy and I aim to start some. I could challenge you to tell me I’m wrong about my own opinion, but I’ll make it even easier for you. This isn’t simply my opinion; this is indisputable fact sent from the heavens and engraved in stone tablets. I’m 100% correct in all of my choices and I dare you to challenge me on it. That’s right, I dare you. To all you haters, trolls, know-it-alls, MENSA members, freemasons, PETA supporters, Dane Cook fans and armchair critics, I dare you to challenge me in the comments section below. I will gladly drill you a new one, you fucking sissies

Even if you agree with what I have to say and haven’t noticed all of the grammatical and/or spelling errors I’ve carefully littered this article with, I still dare you to challenge my authority. Bring it on, but be warned, you will be verbally eviscerated by yours truly and I’m a cruel sonovabitch.

Your suffering will be legendary….even in hell!

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THE TEN BEST ROCK ALBUMS OF THE OUGHTS

(in whatever order I please.)

Ryan Adams – Heartbreaker

(2000)

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Not the most rockin’ album on my list in terms of volume, but it’s dripping an unmatched angst and sadness that you can almost feel just by touching the disc. Heartbreaker is without a doubt my pick for the best album of the decade. Maybe even the best ‘tear-in-your-beer’, ‘music-to-slit-your-wrists-to’ album ever conceived. It’s got all the sensitivity of his lame-duck imitators who litter the radio these days combined with Adams’ awe inspiring passion. He is a song writing tour de force (I highly recommend all of his albums) and Heartbeaker is the record where all of his stars aligned.

Songs like “My Winding Wheel”, “Oh My Sweet Carolina” and “Damn Sam (I Love a Woman That Rains)” are striking in their beauty. The Old Fashioned rockers “To Be Young (is to be sad, is to be high)” and “Shakedown on 9th Street” are sure to have you stomping your feet and singing along at the top of your lungs. The album’s centerpiece “Come Pick Me Up” is one of the greatest songs of all time and shows off Adams’ talent for capturing heartbreak with simplicity and profound honesty.

The record has a stripped down quality that backs its broken hearted sentiment perfectly. If you’re freshly dumped and alone for the holidays, pick up a copy of this amazing record. It will be your best friend.

The Decemberists – The Crane Wife

(2006)

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The Decemberists’ main songwriter Colin Meloy is a goddamned genius. His songs are filled with rich imagery laden lyrics that touch on folklore, history and the human condition. The Crane Wife is an absolutely amazing album. If it were released 30 years ago it would be held with the same regard as Pink Floyd’s “Dark Side of The Moon”. The album veers all over the place while remaining a singular coherent vision. There is the Folky duet “Yankee Bayonet”, the three part rock opera “The Island”, the bombastic “When the War Came” the cool and playful “Perfect Crime”, the poppy, sugar-coated gems “O Valencia!” and “Summersong”, as well as haunting numbers like “Shankill Butchers”. The Crane Wife is an album that demands you listen to it again and again, but fear not, you will be greatly rewarded if you comply.

The Arctic Monkeys – Whatever People Say I am, That’s What I’m Not

(2006)

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Who knew a concept album about a night of clubbing would be the most electric, vital album of the decade? In terms of pure fuck-you-attitude and explosive youthful energy, nothing comes close to this record. It has a similar attention demanding combustibility of Nirvana’s “Nevermind” and The Sex Pistol’s “Nevermind the Bullocks…”. In a decade when a lot of good rock bands limped into obscurity and shit like Nickelback ruled all, these young British snots showed us what rock-and-fucking-roll is all about. It ain’t about wearing expensive leather clothes and singing ballads to teenage girls, it ain’t about musical merit and complexity either. It’s about passion, honesty, and true grit. Rock and roll has everything to do with attitude and the Arctic Monkeys are true ambassadors of ass-kicking attitude in the 21st century!

Fuck you!

Jimmy Eat World – Bleed American

(2001)

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I present an album of 100% Perfect, heartfelt and inspired pop rock. Jimmy Eat World are a heart on their sleeve kind of band, but what separates them from the pack is they are sincere about their sincerity. It isn’t just a pose or a marketing gimmick, it’s total unfiltered earnestness that is hardly ever seen in these oh-so-ironic times full of above-it-all smarty pants (That’s right, I’m talking about you, why don’t you whine about it in the comments section, I dare you). Jimmy Eat World seem like the kind of guys who have the balls to truly acknowledge their emotions, I’ll bet they aren’t even afraid to cry (btw, the reason you’re afraid to cry is because of your small cock). On top of that, when Jimmy Eat World swings the rock hammer down they bring it down hard, proving they can be as aggressive as they are sensitive.

Hawksley Workman – Lover/Fighter

(2003)

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In order to write and record Lover/Fighter, Hawksley Workman shut himself off from society, living and recording in an old abandoned schoolhouse in the middle of winter. The funny thing is, it isn’t the sombre claustrophobic affair you’d expect. It’s a big heaping handful of epic stadium ready rock. Why this album isn’t better known is beyond me. It’s Workman’s finest, most cohesive record and is overflowing with big catchy hooks. If you haven’t heard the genre bending track “Smoke Baby”, I suppose you should.

Muse – Absolution

(2003)

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Muse have a lot to boast about. If I had to describe their sound I’d say it’s Radiohead meets Rage Against the machine, only cooler. They sing about cool subject matter such as Armageddon, the rapture, conspiracies, god and obsession. They show off expert playing, soaring vocals, giant hooks…there isn’t a single thing about this album that isn’t awesome.

Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds – No More Shall We Part

(2001)

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Nick Cave is incapable of becoming irrelevant. His music has always been important and it always will be. Cave ventures into uncharted territory with this beautiful and compelling collection of songs. It’s a slow burn of a record and that makes it all the more rewarding. It contains classics such as “God is in the House” and “Fifteen Feet of Pure White Snow”. The narration of this album is totally inspired and full of those wonderful idiosyncrasies that only Cave can pull off.

Pearl Jam – Pearl Jam

(2006)

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Pearl Jam’s self titled album (affectionately known to fans as “Avocado”) brought the big anthems and electric aggression (that they had previously been shying away from) back to their music. And the boys weren’t fooling around. The first single “World Wide Suicide” (a big “fuck you” to the architects of war) was such a sorely needed injection of awesome that it dominated rock radio for weeks. Pearl Jam reclaimed all that was rightfully theirs from the Theory of a Nickelcreeds. They showed those young whippersnappers how it’s done.

One of the best albums from one of the best bands ever. ‘Nuff said.

Tegan & Sara – The Con

(2007)

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I can’t say enough good things about Tegan and Sara. To know them is to love them and if you don’t know them, shame on you. Tegan and Sara have an amazing talent for making incredible music and then something up with something even better a couple years later. I almost put their new album “Sainthood” on my list because it might be a better record, but I’ve spent more hours listening to The Con. I’ve already said my piece about “Sainthood” which you can read here.

The Con is an album full of atmosphere and heartbreak, but also of strength. Tegan and Sara songs are never content to wallow; they display a survivor attitude in the face of an eloquently described despair and it makes their music all the more powerful. The Con features expertly constructed pop melodies with often sparse arrangements, lyrics so profound they’ll rip your heart out, angelic vocal melodies, and lots of that rock and roll attitude.

I’m in love with this band and if you try and slag them I will be merciless.

The White Stripes – Icky Thump

(2007)

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Really, every single White Stripes album belongs on this list. They’re all equally awesome. The only reason I chose Icky Thump over the others was the mood I was in today. If I were to write this list tomorrow it might include “Get Behind Me Satan” instead, or “Elephant”, or “White Blood Cells”…point is the White Stripes are the best new rock band of the 2000s and all of their albums are equally brilliant.

The White Stripes are a band with a vision, they have the colour scheme, the recurring topics (all of their albums reference redheaded women, and all contain a song titled “Little _____”), and fantastic music videos. Meg’s childish sometimes off-time drumming perfectly compliments Jack’s rat-in-a-cage attack. Jack White’s lyrics are clever and at times have a stream of consciousness feel. His passion is unquestionable, and his song writing is as important as Kurt Cobain, Bruce Springsteen, Bob Dylan…you name it.

The White Stripes are the band of the decade. This isn’t so much an argument for the album Icky Thump as much as it’s an argument for the entire White Stripes catalogue. Long Live Jack and Meg!

Tool – Lateralus

(2001)

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Ah, Tool, the only band in the world that can wait 5 or 6 years between albums and still have everyone and their dog clambering for them. Lateralus strolls up the next logical step from their previous record Ænima yet is still full of surprises. The album is one big sweeping, tense epic punctuated with orgasmic payoffs.

Maynard James Keenan is indisputably the best damn voice in rock and roll and he uses every trick at his disposal in this masterpiece of a record; never before or since has such challenging anti-pop, art-rock been so listenable and approachable. Danny Carey’s drumming is…well Danny Carey’s drumming. There are no words for how fantastic this guy is, just shut up and listen to him. Adam Jones’ Guitar work is otherworldly. His guitar sounds more like transmissions from hell than a mere six-string. Justin Chancellor shows off complex bass-lines that do anything but bleed into the background.

Every member of the band shines and they chug ahead like a well oiled machine. There is no single force in tool that outweighs the other. They are truly the sum off all their parts. Everything about Lateralus is a work of art. Even the liner notes are mind-blowing. Lateralus is an album that requires headphones, solitude and reflection. No kidding, this shit will change your life.

Honourable Mentions: Deftones – White Pony, A Perfect Circle – Mer de Noms, Days of the New – Red, System of a Down – Mezmerize/Hypnotize, Queens of The Stone Age – Songs for the Deaf, The stokes – Is This It, Wintersleep – Welcome to The Night Sky, Coheed and Cambria – Good Apollo: I’m Burning Star IV, Modest Mouse – Good News For People Who Love Bad News

and Yes, I’m aware that my top ten list contains 11 albums. What are you gonna do about it?……That’s what I thought.

It Might Get Loud

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a review by Isaac Thompson

“I didn’t laugh. I wept. It was so close to the truth.”

- U2’s the Edge on the first time he watched “This is Spinal Tap”.

The “rockumentary” is an idea that’s been around just about as long as rock and roll has, and why not? It makes perfect sense; rock and roll music is such a visceral art-form and the lives of rock stars are so chaotic that they translate effortlessly to film. There have been moments in rockumentaries that stand shoulder to shoulder with the greatest scenes in movie history:

- The Beatles final performance on the roof of the Apple studios in “Let it Be”.

- The infamous and truly haunting Rolling Stones film “Gimme Shelter” where the Stones organize a free concert in San Francisco and hire some local Hells Angels members as security guards resulting in the murder of an audience member during a performance of “Sympathy for the devil.”

- “Dig!”, a movie that documents the contrary paths of The Dandy Warhols and The Brian Jonestown Massacre. As the Dandy Warhols build a steady successful career, the Brian Jonestown flounder in the self sabotage of their drug addled leader Anton Newcombe, culminating in a disastrous industry showcase gig/brawl at the L.A. Viper Room.

- Every second of Martin Scorsese’s Brilliant “The Last Waltz”. The Band’s last hurrah and one of the best concerts ever caught on film.

- and of course, the rockumentary, mock-umentary masterpiece, “This is Spinal Tap”.

But no marriage is perfect. Rock and roll and film often have a rocky relationship. With all the power they are capable of, rockumentaries have their shortcomings. Often documentaries are victim to the necessary trappings of film; Filmmakers have the need to build a story, with an arch and character development, something that has a well defined beginning, middle and end. Rock and roll, however, is a genre that was born out of a disregard for the rules, it is a force that hates constriction and film can often be too rigid a medium for such a spitfire entity. The biggest problem with rockumentaries is, like most film genres, predictability. They can be as formulaic as slasher movies or mobster flicks. And it’s because of that I consider “It Might get Loud” one of the best rockumentaries I’ve seen, it wasn’t at all what I expected it to be.

The setup for “It Might Get Loud” is simple enough, three great guitar players from three different eras of rock and roll (Led Zeppelin’s Jimmy Page, U2’s the Edge, and The White Stripes’ Jack White) get together to jam and shoot the shit. They share a few tricks of the trade and talk a bit about how they got where they are today. It’s a premise that could really go either way, but this is a film that rises above a mere premise and becomes something much more interesting. “It Might Get Loud” is a love letter, not just to the guitar, but to passion. That’s the driving force behind the film, its three stars play different styles of music and may appeal to different audiences but they share an obsessive passion for music, and they all hold this passion dear to them. It’s the most obvious and endearing theme in the movie.

The entire film has an inviting, laidback jam-session feel and some amazing musical performances. My favourite being a jam between Jack white and his ten year old counterpart (I can’t explain that part, you just have to see it) in an old run-down house. Jack bashes on a beat-up clunker piano, stomping his foot to the beat like the possessed love child of Jerry Lee Lewis and Stompin’ Tom Connors, with a dash of Ledbelly. You can feel the floor boards shake as if the entire house might come tumbling down in submission to the awesome power of the blues.

The film interweaves the footage of the epic jam session with the personal history of each musician. Director Davis Guggenheim managed to get his stars (all three very elusive, private and interview shy) to open up about their pasts and share more about their beginnings than ever before. Even Jimmy Page, whose entire history is legendary, has revealing new stories to share. The more they share of their past the more similarities begin to pop up. They are three true stories of how passion and drive conquered.

What makes “It Might Get Loud” better than the typical rock movie with talking heads and concert footage is that the musicians don’t just talk about how they create, they show how they create and that makes for fascinating film. Even if you don’t care for U2, Led Zeppelin or the White Stripes by the time the credits role you’ll have a fonder appreciation for their sincerity and what they’re trying to accomplish.

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Tegan and Sara – Sainthood

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an attempted review by Isaac Thompson

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“Might paint something I might want to hang here someday.
Might write something I might want to say to you someday.
Might do something I’ll be proud of someday.
Mark my words I might be something someday.”

- Tegan & Sara: Someday

For once in my life, I’m at a loss for words. Tegan and Sara’s new album Sainthood is like an orgasm made of candy.

I’ve had this album since it came out a week ago and my roommates & friends can vouch for me, I’ve been listening to it non-stopped. It’s only been out a week and I already know it like the back of my so-and-so.

Problem is, I’ve been unable to write anything about it because it’s too good. Words can only cheapen it.  I quickly realized that all of my attempts to review “Sainthood” just came out looking like a high school love letter, so I figured “fuck it” I’m just going to write Tegan and Sara a love letter:

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You think you don't stand a chance with Megan Fox or Angelina Jolie?....Imagine how I must feel about my celebrity crushes; Tegan and Sara....sigh.

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Horror Movie Top Ten List #2: Giant Monster Movies

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They all laughed when I suggested we put electric fences around the kitten-frog compound... Now we're all as good as dead!

by Isaac Thompson

Why hello there, I didn’t see you come in… Frankly, you’re lucky I didn’t shoot you. I’m an avid gun collector and I startle very easily. Also, it’s rude not to knock. But since you’re here I might as well welcome you to part 2 of my 10 part series about great horror movies. Today I’ll be taking you through the wonderful world of nature…run amok!

Hell yeah! It’s Giant Monster Movies!

The kind where huge beasts chase after girls, floss their teeth with subway trains and crush the puny military with their fiery laser breath! These kinds of movies are always lots of fun. They’re the kind of horror movies you can enjoy with the whole family, meaning they usually don’t rely on gore or sex like many other types of horror films so they’re less likely to traumatize children or offend old people. (No offence, old people)

So why don’t you make yourself at home, have a look around and enjoy yourself. Just make sure to stay the hell away from my gun room.

Top Ten List #2/10 : Top Ten Giant Monster Movies

Giant Monster Movie 101:

- The first movie to feature giant monsters on the loose was Harry Hoyt’s “The Lost World” (1925). It’s a silent film based on Arthur Conan Doyle’s 1912 novel of the same name about a land where dinosaurs still roam. The film features groundbreaking special effects by Willis O’brian, a legendary stop-motion artist who would go on to work on King Kong. Not only was it the first movie to feature giant monsters on the loose fucking shit up for the little guy, it was also the first movie to be shown on an airplane. The best part is that film stock of the day was made of super-flammable nitrate and the airplane it was shown on (a London – Paris Flight in April 1925) was made largely of wood. The Lost World was so amazing that people of the day would gladly risk being burned alive in mid-air to see it. Nowadays the movie is public domain, so you don’t have to risk spontaneous combustion to see it, you can watch it in it’s entirety by clicking this handy link.

- Common themes of Giant Monster movies include man vs. nature, fear of science, the consequences of atomic weapons, the uselessness of government and military to protect the citizens, the dangers of humans tampering with powerful forces and fear of invasion from a foreign threat.

- Godzilla is easily the world’s most famous and instantly recognizable giant movie monster. He has starred in 28 films in the last 50 years. He was created in Japan in 1954 as a metaphor for the shit America pulled in Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Japanese movie goers ate it up, it did what horror movies do best; it let them exorcise their fears in a fun, safe and cathartic way. Soon after that, some jackass American film producer got their hands on the distribution rights. They change the giant lizard’s name from Gojira to Godzilla and edited in clips of American actor Raymond Burr so the movie would be 50% less Japanese and 100% less intelligible. Godzilla has proven to be a timeless character. He’s appeared in everything from Saturday morning cartoons to Hollywood remakes to lunch boxes and action figures. He’s captured the imagination of children world-wide. However, Godzilla has never, ever, ever starred in an even half-way decent movie, so this is the last I’ll mention the tall, talentless pseudo-tyrannosaur.

It's not that easy being green.

It's not that easy being green.

# 10. Tremors

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[1990]

Starring: Kevin Bacon, Fred Ward, Finn Carter, Michael Gross, Reba McEntire and Victor Wong

Written by:Brent Maddock and S.S. Wilson

Directed by: Ron Underwood

What it’s about: Two bumbling handymen,Val and Earl (Kevin Bacon and Fred Ward) from Perfection, Nevada decide to skip town for bluer skies (but honestly, I don’t see how you can improve on a place literally called “Perfection). Before they can leave, Perfection is attacked by giant subterranean worm creatures called “Graboids”. Sure that’s a stupid name, but that’s where the stupid ends. This movie totally rules.

Why it’s good:I loved this movie as a kid and was a little nervous about re-watching it for this article. Sometimes re-watching beloved movies from my childhood is an enjoyable nostalgic experience (Monster Squad only gets better as I grow older), and other times the films are so horrendous they make me wonder if I spent my entire childhood tweaking on L.S.D. (I’m looking in your direction, Garbage Pale Kids.). With Tremors, my fears were lifted, it’s more fun than a movie has the right to be.

The giant worms are a cool adversary and there are a lot of thrilling action scenes, but the biggest strength of Tremors is it’s characters and ensemble cast. The comedy duo of Val and Earl is played to perfection. They are the giant monster movie genre’s very own Laurel and Hardy. Michael Gross is dead on as Burt Gummer, the resident gun nut (and my personal hero). Reba McEntire is fantastic as Burt’s survivalist-nut wife, and she rocks the end credits with a catchy pop-country number. The professional ass-kicker Victor Wong plays store owner Walter Chang, a shameless business-man always looking out for a quick buck.

Tremors is a surprisingly smart, hilarious and thrilling movie. It’s well worth your time, I hadn’t had this much fun since my “Twilight” book burning party.

trailer? I hardly know her…

# 9. Q: The Winged Serpent

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[1982]

Starring:Michael Moriarty, Candy Clark, David Carradine and Richard Roundtree

Written by and Directed by: Larry Cohen

What it’s about: New York city (a city which has the crummy luck of being a preferred destination for giant monsters on the loose) is victim to a giant mythological beast who has been resurrected by a satanic cult. The police try and put a stop to it while a small time criminal (played brilliantly by Michael Moriarty) has found out where the creature’s nest is and is trying to blackmail the city for information.

Why it’s good: Although Q has it’s flaws, (it’s a mix bag of ideas, some work and some don’t) It has imagination to spare. The urban setting and 70’s hairdos give this movie and endearing drive-in Grindhouse feel. Michael Moriatry’s performance is fantastic especially for a movie where half the cast seems to be sleepwalking through their lines. His character is one of those snivelling two-timing weasels you love to hate and hate to love.

The creature effects are outdated and unconvincing, but that doesn’t stop the movie from being a hell of a lot of fun. It’s one of the bloodiest giant monster movies out there. Quinton Tarantino has said on many occasions that this movie was one of his inspirations for Reservoir Dogs…how cool is that?

Q has one of the best taglines ever. “Its name is Quetzalcoatl… just call it Q, that’s all you’ll have time to say before it tears you apart!”

…Fuck yeah!

# 8. The Beast From 20,000 Fathoms

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[1953]

Starring: Paul Christian, Paula Raymond, Cecil Kellaway and Kenneth Tobey

Written by: Fred Freiberger, Eugène Lourié, Louis Morheim and Robert Smith
based on a story by Ray Bradbury

Directed by: Eugène Lourié

What it’s about: A long dormant dinosaur called a Rhedosaurus is awakened by nuclear bomb tests north of the Arctic Circle. The dinosaur makes his way to, yup, New York City. Once in the city he proceeds to crush, kill and destroy.

Why it’s good: Ray Harryhausen, the stop-motion genius behind “Jason and the Argonauts” and “The Seventh Voyage of Sinbad”, makes any movie worth watching. His effects are astonishingly great, especially when you consider how much time it must have taken to film. The beast from 20,000 fathoms is pure 50’s monster movie gold. It’s the first movie to have a giant monster attack as a result of atomic weapons, it created the genre in the same way “Halloween” created Slasher movies.

Trailer, Trailer, rolly polly trailer!

# 7. The Host

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[2006]

Starring: Song Kang-ho, Byeon Hee-bong and Park Hae-il

Written by: Baek Chul-hyun and Bong Joon-ho

Directed by: Bong Joon-ho

What it’s about: An irresponsible American Military pathologist orders a bunch of formaldehyde to be dumped into the Han River. What results is a giant fishy-frog amphibian monster that eats people.

Why it’s good: The Host has the distinction of being the highest grossing South Korean film of all time and like any good giant monster flick, it is roller-coaster ride of a movie. It smoothly adds effective comedy and drama to the proceedings. The monster in the film is really cool. I like how the creature is big, but not so big he can’t interact one on one with a character at a time. This really helps create tension in the moments of peril.

The host is a touching story about the strength of the family unit. It plays all the right dramatic cues but still has the monster movie madness we all crave. The final reel of the film is truly outstanding, displaying the film’s impressive effects and beautiful lighting. It also comments nicely on how shitty America’s military presence in South Korea is. If it weren’t for the American military there would be no giant monster movies.

Yes, I’m aware that there is also a book by “Twilight” scribe Stephanie Meyer called “The Host”, and no, I’m not the least bit amused.

# 6. Cloverfield

cloverfieldmonster

[2008]

Starring: Michael Stahl-David, T. J. Miller, Jessica Lucas, Odette Yustman, Lizzy Caplan and Mike Vogel

Written by: Drew Goddard

Directed by: Matt Reeves

What it’s about: Normal dude McEveryman, Rob is leaving his home in (surprise, surprise) New York City for a job in Japan. At his going away party, which is being filmed by Rob’s buddy Hud, a sound like a bomb goes off and the power goes out. Turns out, New York city is being attacked by a giant, bloodthirsty monster….again. You’d think by now New York would have a solid contingency plan for this kind of thing.

Why it’s good: Cloverfield was released in a hurricane of hype, at first it had the world by the balls and then split seconds later the internet backlash had begun. Now that all the hype, anti-hype bullshit is over, the movie is allowed to speak for itself and Cloverfield is a great monster movie.

It has a few drawbacks, mainly the reality star throwback cast/romantic subplot and the handy-cam gimmick. Like Blair Witch, [Rec], and Diary of the Dead, Cloverfield is presented as if it were filmed by one of the main characters. This can work to amazing effect in certain horror scenes, but also weighs heavy on the suspension of disbelief threshold. Cloverfield is one of the better handy-cam horrors.

The Sept. 11th metaphors and imagery are laid on thick and impossible to ignore, I think this works in the films favour. Some deem such things to be insensitive, but I believe horror movies should dissect our greatest fears and the worst of humanity. That’s their function. Cloverfield takes the anxiety of the 9/11 attacks and explodes them to cartoonish proportions, allowing the viewer to safely explore the world they fear.

Cloverfield rarely strays from the common genre conventions. Still it is an enjoyable ride and has some truly astounding moments. The special effects are fantastic and once the action kicks in the film is an intense thriller that you can easily lose yourself in.

Super Producer/Director J.J. Abrams (the man behind the T.V. show “Lost” and the awesome new Star Trek movie) is one of the modern masters of fantasy/adventure films and I consider Cloverfield to be one of the best giant monster movies of the decade. I’d like to see a sequel where the Cloverfield monster fights the giant fish-frog monster from “The Host”!

Neat-O trivial tidbit: Cloverfield has subliminal nods to other famous movie monsters who have attacked New York in the past. Any time the camera starts to flicker or goes to static, you can freeze-frame it and find single frames from classic monster movies such as “The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms”, “King Kong” and “Them!”.

Watch this trailer and notice how the faint, sulphury smell of hype still lingers.

# 5. The Incredible Shrinking Man

untitled

[1957]

Starring: Grant Williams, Randy Stuart, April Kent, Paul Langton and Billy Curtis

Written by: Richard Matheson

Directed by: Jack Arnold

What it’s about: Grant Williams plays Scott Carey, a man who shrinks, incredibly.

Why it’s good: Screenwriter and novelist Richard Matheson is easily one the best horror authors of all time. He was one of the first guys to take horror out of the haunted castles and gothic settings and into modern suburbia. Along with “the Incredible Shrinking Man” he wrote the novels “I am Legend”, “What Dreams May Come”, Stir of Echoes and “Hell House”. He wrote the screenplay for Stephen Spielberg’s first film “Deul” and Roger Corman’s Edgar Allan Poe adaptations. In his spare time he wrote every great Twilight Zone episode, including the one where William Shatner sees the monster on the wing of his plane.

The first thing “The Incredible Shrinking Man” has going for it is it is a brilliant story. I don’t want to give too much away because it’s such a great movie with such an original plot that you have to see it for yourself. It’s a fast paced adventure with chills and thrills but it also has a lot of heart and at its core is an exploration of existentialism. The special effects were outstanding in their day and still look impressive to my jaded 21’st century eyes. In 1957 they didn’t need things like C.G.I or Megan Fox to make a movie, they got a great storyteller and paid him to tell a great story.

While it’s not exactley a giant monster movie, it still has many of the genre’s conventions. The difference is, in this movie the giant monsters are every day household creatures like a cat or spider. This only works to the film’s advantage. To me, there would be nothing scarier than being mouse-sized and having a cat chase after you… Have you seen what cats do to mice? It’s disgusting.

See this movie! Orsen Wells agrees.

# 4. 20 Million Miles to Earth

ymir7

[1957]

Starring: William Hopper, Joan Taylor and Frank Puglia

Written by: Bob Williams and Christopher Knopf

Directed by: Nathan H. Juran

What it’s about: After a manned mission to Venus, a specimen is brought back to earth. The specimen, a mysterious egg, soon hatches a small creature. The earth’s oxygen causes the creature to grow and grow at an alarming rate and he goes on a mad rampage in Rome, including a climax in the coliseum!

Why it’s good: Like “The Beast From 20,000 Fathoms”, this movie features the amazing stop motion work of Ray Harryhausen. You’ll shiver as you see the giant alien creature level cities, you’ll gasp as you watch the creature in a bitter death-match with an elephant. That’s right, this movie features a giant monster fighting a fucking elephant.

Case closed.

They really don’t make ‘em like they used to.

# 3. Jurassic Park

t-rex-jurassic-park

[1993]

Starring: Sam Neill, Laura Dern, Jeff Goldblum, Richard Attenborough, Joseph Mazzello, Ariana Richards, Martin Ferrero, Bob Peck, Samuel L. Jackson and Wayne Knight

Written by: David Koepp and Michael Crichton based on the novel by Michael Crichton

Directed by: Stephen Spielberg

What it’s about:uh, it’s about Dinosaurs!

Why it’s good: When I was 10 years old, Jurassic Park was my religion. I’ve seen this movie a million times and it’s never lost its magic. The effects are top notch, they really haven’t been topped since. Spielberg was at the top of his game in 1993, the year he made two of the best movies of all time; Jurassic Park and Schindler’s List.

Although it’s marketed as an adventure for children, Jurassic Park is a thrilling and at times, frightening film. Spielberg is one of the all time masters when it comes to big budget, high concept films with heart and a human core.

This is one of those movies that everyone knows and where every scene is iconic. There’s the scene where the T-Rex attacks one of the land cruisers (One of my all time favourite giant monster sequences.), the wickedly intelligent Velociraptors, the thrilling climax and of course, Jeff Goldblum!

If you haven’t watched Jurassic Park, there’s no excuse for you. Your best bet is to discretely sneak out of the room, walk down to the video store, rent the movie (all the while acting like you’ve seen it many times), and then secretly watch it with the shades drawn. Once you’ve finally watched the movie you can go back to pretending you’re not the biggest goon on the planet.

Here’s the super-lame trailer for a super-awesome movie

# 2. Jaws

jaws2

[1975]

Starring: Roy Scheider, Richard Dreyfuss, Robert Shaw, Lorraine Gary and Murray Hamilton

Written by: Peter Benchley and Carl Gottlieb based on the novel by Peter Benchley

Directed by: Stephen Spielberg

What it’s about: An oversized shark is eating up the residents of Amity Island. The town officials refuse to shut down the beaches due to the fourth of July tourist frenzy, so it’s up to the police chief, a plucky marine biologist and a hardened shark assassin to put things right.

Why it’s good: It would be much easier to write what isn’t good about Jaws. But since I can’t really submit an article that says nothing, I’ll try and quickly encapsulate the amazing feat of human expression that is Jaws.

Jaws is a perfect movie. Every scene, every performance, every camera angle, every goddamn shot is completely brilliant and inspired. This is the movie that put Stephen Spielberg on the map, It’s the first ever summer blockbuster, It’s one of the few monster movies that is universally loved by audiences and critics.

Jaws done changed the game.

It’s really all been said before; Spielberg’s direction is literally genius, the musical score is one of the most iconic and effective scores of all time, the character development is natural and thorough. If you haven’t seen Jaws you should really stop reading this and do so immediately.

Here’s an interesting trivia tid-bit I discovered during my research: In his later years, Jaws author Peter Benchley was so ashamed of his portrayal of sharks and it’s effect on their reputation that he became an outspoken defender of sharks. He became a member of the National Council of Environmental Defense and a spokesman for its Oceans Program. In his own words :

“The shark in an updated Jaws could not be the villain; it would have to be written as the victim; for, worldwide, sharks are much more the oppressed than the oppressors.”

As much of a fan I am of Jaws, I have to say that Benchley is right. The perceived threat of sharks is almost entirely fictional. Human beings are wiping sharks out at an alarming rate and this could cause real problems for everyone. I highly recommend checking out the documentary “Shark Water”. It will break your heart.

# 1. King Kong

kingkong-wobrien-1933

[1933]

Starring: Fay Wray, Robert Armstrong and Bruce Cabot

Written by: James Ashmore Creelman and Ruth Rose based on a story by Merian C. Cooper and Edgar Wallace

Directed by: Merian C. Cooper and Ernest B. Schoedsack

kingkongpic

[2005]

Starring: Naomi Watts, Jack Black, Adrien Brody and Andy Serkis

Written by: Peter Jackson, Fran Walsh and Philippa Boyens based on a story by Merian C. Cooper and Edgar Wallace

Directed by: Peter Jackson

What it’s about: A film director who specializes in exotic nature adventures takes a crew and a beautiful actress with him to skull island where they encounter the mighty Kong, a huge ape who’s just looking for love. They bring Kong back to New York… not a good idea.

Why it’s good: We’ve arrived at the #1 position on my countdown and it’s a tie between King Kong and King Kong! That’s not a typo. Both the original and the Peter Jackson remake are beautiful films.

It’s a classic beauty and the beast story, it speaks of man’s total disregard for nature and fixation on greed and exploitation. King Kong isn’t just one of the most tragic monster films, it’s one of the most tragic love stories of all time.

Both versions are brilliant in their own ways. The original smacked 1933 audiences in the face like a fist to the jaw. No one had ever seen anything like it and it is one of the most important movies ever made. Fay Wray’s performance will make you fall in love with her, and King Kong’s demise will make you cry.

Peter Jackson’s remake keeps the flavour of the original, but expands on everything. Jackson created a breathtakingly sprawling adventure movie that ranks as my favourite film of his. Most horror movie remakes are abominations and better left forgotten, Peter Jackson’s King Kong is every bit as good as the original.

There are no words for how I feel about the King Kong films…there are, however, trailers.

If you missed my last article: Horror Movie Top Ten List #1: Slasher Movies, you can read it now by clicking this sentence.

Horror Movie Top Ten List #1: Slasher Movies

slasher-profile

Yay, I'm the final girl! ...and my parents couldn't be more proud!

by Isaac Thompson

There sure are a lot of horror movies out there. They range from fantastic, to fair, to fucking awful, but I’ve watched most of them. I’ve watched them so you don’t have to.

You’re welcome.

What follows is a list of my favourite horror movies of all time, ones that, in my estimation, deliver the goods. This is a 10 part series that I will be posting over then next month or so, each one focusing on a different sub-genre of horror films.

If you’re a casual horror fan who only really bothers to see horror flicks once in a while, like around Halloween for instance (which is, conveniently enough, right around the corner) and you’ve gone to the video store to get a scary movie and whatever shitty “Saw” sequel you were planning on renting is out, maybe you’ll consider one of these movies.

or if you’re a horror fiend like me, perhaps you would like to compile your own list in the comment section. You can tell me how and why I went wrong. There are tons of great horror movies and I’m bound to have left a few gems off my lists. However, this isn’t a list of the most important horror movies, but a list of my personal favourites, and we all know there’s no accounting for taste… right, Twilight fans?

Top Ten List # 1/10 : Top Ten Slasher Movies:

Slasher Movie 101:

- Most Slasher movies feature a virginal, goody-goody heroine who survives until the end and then kills the villain. She is known as the “final girl” (see picture above).

- Other Slasher conventions: a group of young people are isolated from adults to engage in sex, drug use and other sinful activities. They are stalked and killed one by one. Plot and character development are often secondary, behind sex and inventive gore.

- Common themes include emphases on bodily harm, male-upon-female voyeurism, gender confusion, sexual perversion, the spectacle of murder, the efficacy of female self-defense, the substitution of violent killing for sexual gratification, and the inability of traditional authority figures to eliminate a communal threat.

- Well known film critic Roger Ebert coined the phrase “Dead teenager movie” in reference to the genre. He didn’t mean it to be complimentary, but horror fans have since adopted it as a term of endearment.

- There has been a Slasher movie made for pretty much every holiday.

# 10. Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon

behindthemaskleslievernon

[2006]

Starring: Nathan Baesel, Robert Englund and Angela Goethals.

Written by:Scott Glosserman and David J. Stieve

Directed by: Scott Glosserman

What it’s about: It’s the story of Leslie Vernon, a young man who is preparing to be the next Jason Voorhees or Freddy Krueger. He has it all, the tragic back story, the cool mask, the arsenal of hand held stabby weapons, he even has his group of walking-stereotype-teen victims picked out. The stage is set and Vernon prepares for the night he kills them all. Behind the Mask is shot in a mockumentary style and the gimick works well for the movie. Leslie Vernon gives us the inside scoop as he brings a documentary crew to film his training and his slaughter. Yeah, pretty cool concept right?

Why it’s good: Mixing horror and comedy are a like mixing alcohol and office parties; if mixed together properly they can be terrific fun, but if you aren’t careful the results can be an embarrassment. The general rule of thumb for horror comedies is if they treat the subject they are poking fun at with respect they will be good. If the threat is laughable… well, we’ve all seen Twilight… wait, that wasn’t supposed to be a comedy?

Behind the mask is an example of a horror/comedy done proper. The movie is well written and well acted and one of the most original takes on the Slasher genre I’d seen since “Scream”. Like “Scream”, BTM has heaps of cute horror movie jokes and references. But in some ways, it explores the genre even further than “Scream” did. The final reel of the film does go into more typical Slasher stuff, but I don’t mind that so much because that’s what I’m paying to see!

Don’t just take my word for it, here’s the trailer:

# 9. The Burning

the-burning-killer

[1981]

Starring: Brian Matthews, Jason Alexander, Leah Ayres and Holly Hunter

Written by:Peter Lawrence, Bob Weinstein, Tony Maylam and Brad Grey

Directed by:Tony Maylam

What it’s about: Rick Wakeman is the camp counsellor from hell. After a prank gone wrong (I blame Ashton Kutcher) he is left horribly burned and disfigured. Years later, Rick does what any of us would do in his situation; he returns to the scene of the accident to go on a killing spree using garden sheers.

Why it’s good: The Burning plays out like Slasher-by-numbers and that’s precisely why it’s so damn enjoyable. Make-up Maestro Tom Savini delivers the gory goods (Wait till you see the infamous canoe scene!). You get tons of good looking teenagers having sex, doing drugs and getting murdered. That’s pretty much what Slasher movies are all about. Plus as an added bonus, you get a young Jason Alexander (George Costanza from T.V.’s Seinfeld) showing off his full head of hair and the acting chops that took him to the top! There’s even a Seinfeld episode named after this movie.

The trailer for this one is awesome. If you saw “Grindhouse” in theatres this might remind you of Edgar Wright’s hilarious “Don’t” trailer.

# 8. Hostel

hostel-11

[2005]

Starring: Jay Hernandez, Derek Richardson and Eyþór Guðjónsson

Written and Directed by: Eli Roth

What it’s about: A couple of douche-baggy American backpackers travel to a hostel in Slovakia after hearing stories of how horny the women there are for American douche-bags. These douchey Americans get more than they bargained for…unless what they bargained for was being tortured by wealthy business men at a murder vacation retreat…If that’s the case, they got exactly what they bargained for.

Why it’s good: Hostel is one Slasher flick I like more with every viewing. The director, Eli Roth (Who you might have seen kicking ass with a baseball bat as “The Bear Jew” in Quentin Tarantino’s Inglourious Basterds) is a man who respects the Slasher genre and puts much more thought into it than most think it deserves. Hostel is a tense, moody film, but it’s also a lot of fun. Roth purposely depicts his locations inaccurately, turning them into wastelands of abandoned factories and renegade children gangs. Some Slovakian groups publicly complained about this portrayal, but Roth did this as a commentary on American’s ignorance of the rest of the world. To drive this point further, the soundtrack consists of Slovakian pop hit from 20 years ago… Not that any of you ignorant westerners would have noticed.

It’s the premise that really sets Hostel apart from the rest of the Slice-N’-Dice-cinema world. The commentary on modern business and white-collar sociopaths is haunting. What the rich businessmen in the movie are paying to do isn’t that far off from the global sex-trades that have made their way into the headlines, and that’s extra scary.

Hostel is a slow burn, but once the blood starts flowing it is unnerving, gripping and relentless….it’s also really fucking gross. I’ve seen a lot of gory movies and this one makes me squirm every time.

Hey, look! It’s the trailer!

# 7. Child’s Play

childs-play-movie-05

[1988]

Starring: Chris Sarandon,Catherine Hicks
Alex Vincent and Brad Dourif

Written by: Don Mancini, John Lafia and Tom Holland

Directed by: Tom Holland

What it’s about: All young Andy wants for his birthday is a “Good Guy Doll”, his mother buys one in a back alley off of a homeless guy. Andy is ecstatic until he finds out his new doll “Chucky” is alive and evil and super pissed.

Why it’s good: First of all Brad Dorif rules, he’s one of the best actors ever and he kicks ass 100% of the time. In this movie he’s the voice of Chucky, the killer doll. Do I even need to tell you why this movie is great?

Ok, here are a few more reasons this movie is worth watching (or re-watching); the script is very smart for a movie about an evil toy, Andy’s relationship with his mother and his new best friend Chucky are exceptionally well done. The scares are effective and directed with skill. Also, Brad Dorif is in it.

This trailer makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Ah, the 80’s

# 6. Scream

scream1

[1996]

Starring:David Arquette, Neve Campbell, Courteney Cox, Matthew Lillard, Rose McGowan, Skeet Ulrich and Drew Barrymore

Written by:Kevin Williamson

Directed by:Wes Craven

What it’s about: Someone obsessed with horror movies (It isn’t me, I swear!) is stalking and murdering teens in the town of Woodsboro. No one knows who the killer is, but he or she has an annoying habit of grilling their victim with lame horror movie trivia…I swear it’s not me.

Why it’s good: Scream gave the genre the shot in the arm it needed. Sure it paved the way for half a decade of neutered PG-13 Slasher flicks full of self aware, ironic smartasses, but now that the dust has cleared and Party of Five has gone off the air, Scream has proven itself as a worthy addition to the genre. It’s one of the best Who-Done-It stories out there. It has a great ending. One of the most wholly satisfying horror movies there is.

Check out this trailer and prepare yourself for my top five!

# 5. Hatchet

victorcrowleykanehodderchopsmr_permatteorichardreihleinhalf

[2006]

Starring: Joel Moore, Tamara Feldman, and Kane Hodder.

Written and Directed by: Adam Green

What it’s about: A couple of young whippersnappers vacationing in New Orleans decide to ditch the seemingly fantastic Mardi Gras celebrations in favour of a haunted swamp tour. The tour takes an unplanned detour and the tourists learn of the terrifying legend of Victor Crowley. As you might have guessed, Victor Crowley is a big ugly dude who likes to murder people in disgusting yet inventive ways. He’s very real and got him some killin’ to do.

Yes, you read that right. This is the one Slasher movie where young people get hacked to pieces because they avoided sex and drugs.

Why it’s good: Hatchet is a big bowl of Awesome. It is written and directed with such spirit and enthusiasm it is impossible not to have a great time watching it. It doesn’t concern itself with much more than scaring your pants off and lodging its foot in your ass.

Victor Crowley is a great Slasher villain and he’s played perfectly by Kane Hodder (Jason in Friday the 13th parts 7-10). He runs around with a hatchet (or various power tool) twitching and screaming as he kills. And when I say Victor Crowley kills people, I mean he Kills people. The kills in this flick are some of the most over the top, disgusting and bloody kills you’ll find. On top of that the movie has a great sense of humour and more than a couple loving nods to the genre, including bit parts by Robert Englund (Freddy Krueger) and Tony Todd (Candyman). Just writing this review makes me want to watch Hatchet again.

Even the trailer kicks ass! And we all know how shitty most modern-day movie trailers are.

# 4. High Tension

high_tension

[2003]

Starring: Cécile de France and Maïwenn Le Besco

Written by: Alexandre Aja and Grégory Levasseur

Directed by: Alexandre Aja

What it’s about: High Tension is a French horror film, (known as Haute Tension in France, Switchblade Romance in the UK and High Tension in North America) about two female college students, Alex and Marie. The two girls use their time off to visit Marie’s parents in their beautiful country house. That night while Marie’s family sleeps peacefully, the doorbell rings. What follows is an unnerving, gut-wrenching movie experience.

Why it’s good: Holy Lord this movie is intense! Now, it does have its drawbacks; the ending is completely idiotic, and the entire plot (save the stupid-ass ending) was plagiarized. At least they stole from great source material, (Dean Koontz’s novel “Intensity”) but still, that’s pretty lame.

Anyway, before you think I don’t frackin’ love this movie let me reiterate my earlier point; This movie is intense! Like, edge of your seat, jaw on the floor, eyeballs popping out your head intense. Even though the ending sucks, (I won’t ruin it for you here, but trust me, it sucks.) the rest of the movie is so unrelenting it more than makes up for it. The first 2/3rds of the movie is a revelation. Its combination of gore and splatter with tension and suspense is brilliant. If Hitchcock made a Friday the 13th movie and then handed it over to M. Night Shyamalan to film the ending you would have High Tension.

Hope you’ve brushed up on your French, because I refuse to post the dubbed American Trailer.

# 3. Friday the 13th Part IV: The Final Chapter

friday-the-13th-the-final-chapter-deluxe-edition-20090615003529470_640w

[1984]

Starring: Corey Feldman, Kimberly Beck, Erich Anderson and Ted White

Written by: Barney Cohen

Directed by: Joseph Zito

What it’s about: Here it is, Friday the 13th, the final chapter…well sorta, so far there have been 12 Friday the 13th films, with another one, the sequel to the remake, in production. But, this is the film where they first killed Jason off. He’s replaced by a lame copycat killer in part 5 and then returns from the dead and becomes an unstoppable zombie in part 6. Beyond that, I’m sure you all know the basic concept of the Friday series (Young people go to Camp Crystal Lake so they can bump uglies, smoke the pot, and get murdered by Jason Voorhees.) and if you don’t you should be ashamed of yourself.

Why it’s good: If you’re at all interested in understanding the genre, the entire Friday series is essential viewing and this one is a great place to start as it’s one of the best of the series. Jason is scarier and more unstoppable in this entry than any of the ones before it. His death scene is a masterpiece in cinematic splatter. It’s disgusting and inventive, the movie really brings it in every way. Make-up master Tom Savini, is the Michelangelo of gore and Friday 4 is his Sistine Chapel.

On top of that, this movie is preciously 80’s. Is it just me or are the teenagers in 80’s movies ten times more tolerable than the teenagers in modern movies? Either way, I didn’t find the kids in this one as obnoxious as the kids in the newer entries. It helps make a movie scarier if you aren’t rooting for the character’s deaths…of course, this is a Friday movie, so you end up rooting for the characters to die anyway.

I’m a big fan of the Friday the 13th movies. They’re all totally stupid but a lot of fun. If you’ve never watched a Jason movie, (which I would be shocked to hear) I recommend starting with this one.

Ki…Ki….Ki…Ma…Ma….Ma…

# 2. A Nightmare on Elm Street

nightmareonelmstreet

[1984]

Starring: John Saxon, Ronee Blakley, Heather Langenkamp, Johnny Depp and Robert Englund

Written and Directed by: Wes Craven

What it’s about: Deceased child-killer Fred Krueger is haunting the children of Elm Street’s dreams. When he kills them in their dreams they die for real and if you’ve never heard of Freddy Krueger you are a caveman who has just recently been thawed out of a giant block of ice. You’ve probably escaped some sort of laboratory, wandered into suburbia, broken into someone’s home and figured out how to turn on their computer and log onto the internet. So I’ll let it slide.

Why it’s good: a Nightmare on Elm Street is one of the most original horror films of the 1980’s. None of the 8 Freddy Krueger movies matched this one. Freddy eventually became so well known he was about as scary as a Stephanie Meyer novel, but in the original he means business.

The story is timeless, the acting is great, the script is smart and layered. With this movie, Wes Craven laid down the framework for a horror legend. The ideas he presented with this movie would prove to have legs, with a stride as wide as classics like Frankenstein and Dracula. Nothing that came before it is quite like it and countless horror film after it bore it’s influence.

A Nightmare on Elm Street lives up to its hype. The imaginative dream sequences, the boiler room, the disconnect between the parents and their children, Freddy’s claw-glove; everything about this movie is iconic and deservedly so. Wes Craven was so on the ball with ANOES that he gave Johnny Depp his first film role. I’m sure Craven did this knowing full well that Depp would become the hugest movie star in the world. That’s right, Wes Craven is psychic.

Further proof that 80’s trailers are the bee’s knees.

# 1. Halloween

michael-myers11

[1978]

Starring: Donald Pleasence, Jamie Lee Curtis, Nancy Loomis and Nick Castle.

Written by: John Carpenter and Debra Hill

Directed by: John Carpenter

What it’s about: Michael Myers is pure evil, and ‘”The Love Guru” is proof! But this movie isn’t about that Michael Myers, It’s about another Michael Myers, one who gets his evil kicks out of murdering people instead of broad comedy films full of fart jokes (seriously Mike Myers, I deem you no longer funny). As a child Michael Myers kills his sister and is carted off to a mental institution. He grows up to become a huge, mute killing machine. He wastes no time breaking out of the institution and returns home to continue his murderous rampage.

Why it’s good: Horror nerds have debated endlessly about which movie holds the title of first ever Slasher film. Some say Alfred Hitchcock’s “Psycho” (1960) or Tobe Hooper’s “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” (1974), but neither of them are true Slasher films. Many consider Bob Clark’s “Black Christmas” (1974) the first Slasher film, and they make a good case, but it is “Halloween” that cemented the genre’s rules and brought the dead teenager movie to the masses. It was such a mammoth hit that it inspired countless imitators, kick-starting what is now known as the golden age of Slasher films. Not only is it the first Slasher film, it’s easily the best.

Michael Myers is the perfect Slasher movie villain, so perfect he single-handedly set the template; he’s silent, lumbering, huge and powerful, unstoppable, and totally insane. He prefers to do his killing at close range with his hands or a knife, and he prefers killing oversexed, amoral teenagers. In fact, every Slasher villain since “Halloween” has essentially been Michael Myers in a different mask, including Jason Voorhees.

Halloween is an expertly crafted suspense film. It has a lot of great scares and a slow but precise tension. Halloween is the closest to art that a Slasher movie has ventured. So much has been written about it. Even the snootiest of critics who feel horror movies are beneath them think that “Halloween” is a fucking sweet movie. From start to finish it is about as perfect as a horror movie gets.

Thank God for John Carpenter.

Special thanks to Laurel Green and Katelin Dean for helping with the photography and photoshoping.

Pearl Jam – Backspacer

pearl_jam_backspaceran attempted review by Isaac Thompson

“…Speaking as a child of the 90’s” – Vedder

Before I dive into my review, I feel I should include a disclaimer: I am a die-hard Pearl Jam fan. They are my #1, all time favourite band. Every note of every Pearl Jam album is sacred to me and therefore this review will be as biased as an Aaron Spelling casting call. I love Pearl Jam and I love this album. So prepare yourself for the Seattle Stroke-job of the century.

Another side note: Again, I am extremely biased on the subject, but I’ve noticed that most reviewers are routinely unfair to Pearl Jam, brushing the band off as has-beens. It’s my estimation that those reviewers don’t know what the hell they’re talking about. It can be frustrating seeing someone slag your favourite band when they obviously don’t know the music nearly as well as you do. How can they dismiss something they know so little about? It’s kind of like how people who don’t listen to punk music say it all sounds the same. If you are a punk fan, I don’t need to tell you that all punk music does not sound the same and those people don’t know what they’re talking about. Love for a band is a personal thing and you can’t find it in a press kit. When reviewers make asinine comments about Pearl Jam, such as “they’re just repeating themselves.” I shake my head. Are they listening to the same band I am? They certainly aren’t listening as closely as me and the rest of Pearl Jam’s loyal cult. I feel it’s my duty as a fan to write a review for the album that doesn’t just make lame jabs at Eddie Vedder’s earnestness (as if it were a bad thing) or blame them for spawning every crappy band that’s dominated rock radio since (Creed, Nickelback, Theory of a Dead Man, Default, Staind, Three Doors Down, etc..). That’s like hating Steven Spielberg because of his influence on Michael Bay. Just because someone decides to rip off the obvious, superficially commercial elements of your art minus the soul doesn’t mean it’s your fault! And none of the johnny-come-lately-wannabes who are still trying to recreate Pearl Jam’s Ten can ever stop Pearl Jam from being awesome.

You wish you rocked as hard as this guy.

You wish you rocked as hard as this guy.

That being said, the reviews for Backspacer have been almost universally positive. And with good reason, the record kicks ass. The only review I’ve read for the album that I’d consider negative was on Pitchfork.com. They tore Backspacer a new one. This was most likely because Pearl Jam are not an ironic, hipster indie band consisting of like 15 skinny pretty boys from Montreal… I mean, seriously. Am I the only one who is bored with that shit? I’ve been sick of this ‘above it all’, ironically-moustachioed hipster fad since day one. I will be celebrating heavily when sincerity and passion are regarded as positive things in rock music. (suck it, Pitchfork!)

The reasons Pearl Jam are my favourite band are too numerous to mention, but here’s a short rundown of my love affair: I discovered them during the Vitalogy era when I was knee high to one of those bugs that hops around in the grass. The closest thing I’ve had to a religious experience was seeing Pearl Jam live during the Riot Act tour. A friend who was working behind the scenes at that show nabbed Mike McCready’s guitar pick for me. I cherish it like the holy grail. I’ve spent countless hours as a child, teenager and adult worshiping at the Alter of Pearl.

Me offering my most sincere form of flattery to Eddie Vedder. (photo by the rockin' Tiffany Naugler)

Me offering my most sincere form of flattery to Eddie Vedder. (photo by the rockin' Tiffany Naugler)

The band has my loyalty because they’ve earned it. They’ve never let me down, I’ve never felt like they were phoning it in, and they always try something different. They are legendary for going against the grain (not shooting videos, touring sans ticket-master, accepting awards with a simple “This is meaningless”, etc.) even though when they first came out they were accused (unfairly, IMHO) of being Nirvana bandwagon-jumpers.

Backspacer continues Pearl Jam’s tradition of expanding their sound while staying true to what fans love about them. Everything is in place. Eddie’s vocals sound as unhinged as ever, yet more controlled. Matt Cameron is a goddamn force of nature on the drums. Jeff Ament’s bass lines are much more traditional sounding and it’s interesting to hear. The buzz-saw guitar attack provided by Stone Gossard and Mike McCready is still present, as are the tender ballads. But this time they’ve made good on a lot of influences they’ve only touched on in the past. There are more nods to classic punk rock on this one than any of their previous albums. They even touch on 80’s new wave with some of the tracks, and for once I have to agree with the reviewers’ consensus and say this is the most fun Pearl Jam album of all time.

The Artwork to the album is fantastic, although if you’ve been following the band all these years you know that’s par for the course. Backspacer’s artwork was done by Tom Tomorrow who draws the comic strip “The Modern World”. He does a great job and his cartoonish style is a visual cue for the type of sounds you’ll hear when you press play.

pearl_jam_pearl_jam_backspacer_australian_tour_v2

"Why don't you come up here and say that 'Last Kiss' sucks?"

“When something’s lost, I wanna fight to get it back again” – Vedder

Pearl Jam is a band who knows how to begin an album. With the exception of No Code, all of their albums begin with high energy, foot stomping, barn burners and Backspacer follows suit. The one, two, three punch of “Gonna See My Friend”, “Got Some”, and “the Fixer” grabbed me right away. They’re loud, fast and catchy tunes, but less in the aggressive style of Black Flag and more the adolescent jubilation of the Ramones. In fact, I declare”The Fixer” (the lead single off of the album) Pearl Jam’s catchiest lead single since Their first single, “Alive” back in 1991. ”The Fixer” is the one song I can’t get enough of at the moment, however I expect that to happen at one point or another with every track.

Another one of the album’s standout tracks is “Just Breathe”. It’s beautiful guitar-line and Vedder’s amazing vocals remind me of some of the early Pearl Jam ballads that sent millions of bic lighters waving gracefully in the air 18 years ago.  Eddie Vedder has told reporters it is the closest thing to a love song the band has ever recorded. I would argue they have written love songs, but most of them are about the love of getting into a car and just driving. This one flirts with typical love song territory while keeping equal portions of pessimism mixed in with the optimism. That’s one of the things I adore about the band; they aren’t the type to sugar coat things, but they aren’t wallowers either. They take the good they take the bad and there we have….the facts of life. Life isn’t a bowl of roses, often it sucks, it’s ugly and indifferent, but life isn’t all misery and pain as a lot of hard rock bands would have you believe. In truth it’s a little of both, and Pearl Jam has always been a band that understood that.

“Johnny Guitar” makes great use of the wah-wah pedal and the chorus makes me involuntarily pump my fist in the air (always a good sign). “Supersonic” is a fun tight pop-rock song in the vein of “Mankind” off of Pearl Jam’s 4th album No Code. It’s also got a touch of Born in the USA era Springsteen and includes the fantastic line “I’m not the paper, I’m more like the fold. Cut the crease and put the shit in the whole.”  The album’s closer ”The End” is another beautifully sparse ballad that rounds out the album nicely. At a breakneck 39 minutes, the album hardly ever stops to catch its breath and when the ballads roll around they really stand out.

This might not matter as much to casual fans, but this album marks the return of Brendan O’brian who produced all of Pearl Jam’s early albums and just about every other good 90’s hard rock album you can name. His work speaks for itself, His records always sound great. Go check your record collection, you’d be surprised how many amazing albums he is behind. He also plays a mean surf guitar.

I feel I’m glossing over the specifics of the album, probably because I am. Therein lies the problem with reviewing records, it’s not like watching a movie, where one time through you more or less get the jist of it. With a record you need to live and breathe it for months to truly appreciate it. I know I like this album a lot, I know it’ll never have the same effect on me that Ten, Vs, and Vitalogy had. That’s just impossible. But I don’t feel I know the album well enough yet to really get into the specifics. I’ve only listened to it 5 times, which some might say is enough to write a review, but I don’t think I’ll truly know how I feel about the record until, say, a year from now. That’s one of the joys of a band like Pearl Jam. There are references, inside stories, secret codes and hidden meanings in everything they touch.  It can keep a fan busy trying to decipher it all for years. Hell, they’ve kept me busy with it for almost two decades now.

Although it’s still growing on me, I’m still learning its idiosyncrasies, I know this is a great album. It’s a fun burst of high energy pop rock, and the band seems to be letting loose like never before. I give Backspacerthe same rating I give Pearl Jam’s last 8 albums: 10 out of 10, two thumbs up, 100%! I love this band, I wont even try and find fault in them, I’ll leave that up to Rollingstone, Blender, Spin and of course, Pitchfork.

Craigness! Promo!

A couple of days ago I told you about the study in awesomeness that is “Craigness!”. Today I come bearing fruit. Here is the promo for the first episode of “Craigness!”. If you like art, mirth, and things that kick ass, I suggest you visit Unfiltered Smoke this Friday and check out the first episode.

Craig’s Guest is Professional Photographer Jule Malet-Veale who will be involved in the Atlantic Film Festival in Halifax. The festival starts Thursday Sept 17.

-IT

Coming Soon to Unfiltered Smoke: “Craigness!”

This week is going to be an exciting one here at Unfiltered Smoke. As always we’ll be making with the regular updates. We have a combustible cavalcade of inspired, entertaining and thought provoking artwork for your convenient consumption. But what makes this week extra special is that Unfiltered Smoke will be premiering its first exclusive video series: “Craigness!”

I heard that Craig Layton character is a bad mother…

- *shut your mouth!*

But I’m only talkin’ bout Craig

- *I can dig it!*

Host Craig Layton invites you to grasp his hand (or pant leg) firmly, take a deep breath, and jump headfirst into the depths of arts and entertainment. Join Craig as he explores Halifax’s world of fashion, film and music. Through imaginative interview scenarios and a wickedly warped sense of humour, Craig shows you the real face of Hali-Weird as only he can. It’s no-holds-barred, it’s totally fucked up and it’s only on Unfiltered Smoke.

First episode drops Friday Sept 18th right here on this very site.

-IT

He's a complicated man and no one understands him but his woman.

He's a complicated man and no one understands him but his woman.

You Gotta do What you Feel is Real

guitarplaying by Isaac Thompson

Art is important.

I would argue that art is as crucial as mathematics and sciences in our understanding of ourselves and the world around us. In other words, it isn’t merely important, it’s necessary. It’s how we wrestle our intangible experiences and emotions (hate, love, anger, joy, longing, fear et al.) to the ground and share them.

Scientists could write (and probably have written) a million peer reviewed studies about love, but could they ever convey the magnitude of the experience as profoundly as William Shakespeare did when he sat down and wrote Romeo and Juliet?

Think about your favourite band or musician. The one you’ve spent hours alone listening to, studying every lyric, and worshiping every note. There is an exchange going on there. Whether they like it or not, the artist is sharing every hope or fear they’ve ever had. They are giving you a glimpse of their soul, all its faults and virtues. They might not say it in plain terms, and a casual listener might no pick up on it, but it’s there. It lives and breathes in the groves of the record (or these days in the digital code of the mp3… I feel wrong just typing that.).

I’ve been an avid fan of music for so long that I’ve built up an ever-growing arsenal and armoury. It’s better than a therapist, it’s better than a diary. Whatever the experience good or bad, there’s a song that will help me express that feeling. More than that, it will help me compartmentalize the feeling and relate it to another human being. That’s where the exchange comes in. When you listen to an album or (especially) when you see a musician at a live show, you and the artist are relating to each other. You’re reporting the reality of the human condition to each other. I’m sure you can think of a million times a simple three-minute-long-ditty has changed the way you carry yourself, the way you think and the way you interact with the world.

This same magic works for all art forms. That’s the beauty of expression. Art is healing. It’s a teacher, an entertainer, a confidant, a security blanket. It can mean anything to anyone. Everyone benefits from it, we’re wired to create it, we’re wired to appreciate it, and we’ve done it for as long as we’ve been around. It can challenge our minds and our belief systems, It can make (and has made) real change in our society.

The River Valley Arts Alliance is a collection of New Brunswick artists with heaps of talent, passion and vision. They recently put together an amazing arts festival, the first of its kind in Woodstock New Brunswick. It was a great success and it looks like the Dooryard Arts Festival is going to be an annual event. I was lucky enough to take part in the festival, singing a few songs with my dad’s rock and roll band The Debarker Boys.

I’m posting our rendition of “New Orleans is Sinking” by The Tragically Hip, a band who has always meant a lot to me. I had a blast playing that song and I’m already planning a way to weasel into next years Dooryard Festival.