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08
Jan
2010

Top Ten Films a la Jody

a look back at the 2000’s with Jody Coughlin

Compiling my top ten films for the last decade is no easy feat. My memory is dismal at best and I am usually once removed to the left of the thing I really love but have forgotten all about. Oh well, this is not going to change the world anyway so I suppose I just might as well give it a whirl and hope for the best.

Here I go. These are in no particular order and this rundown is not particularly cerebral.

1. Fight Club.

I do not talk about Fight Club. Seriously, I don’t. I will say this-it is a disgruntled employee’s wet dream to show up at the office with a huge black eye and blood trickling out the nose and onto a very neatly pressed dress shirt. Oh yeah. Can ya feel it?

2. There Will Be Blood.

If you have not seen this film, then you must. Go now. Go. See it. The score will give you ulcers, Daniel Day Lewis and his portrayal of an oil-boy pioneer will give you goose bumps. The thought of how much blood, sweat, tears and greed goes into the oil industry and the industry of religion (two entities that we are so ravenously hooked on) will give you an upset stomach. What more could you ask for out of a film?

3. The Others.

This haunting ghost story leaves me feeling like I did when I was a kid and my sister stumbled upon a book about a girl who gets trapped inside her doll house. I don’t remember how the girl got there, I just know that it freaked the hell out of me. I couldn’t stop starring at it.

4. Lord of The Rings

This could count as three but I am counting it as one. I liked all in general, The Return of the King in particular. If there is a God, and I believe there is, then I think he would be a lot like the portrayal of Gandalf in this film: wise, kind, a bit temperamental. I cannot make it through these films without tearing up at least a dozen times. Epic.

5. Inglourious Basterds

I keep spelling the title of this film correctly which means I am spelling it incorrectly which almost gives me an aneurism. I will say this, I am glad to be alive at a time in the history of our planet where it is perfectly acceptable to watch, with pleasure, the demise of the Nazis. Nobody does it like Tarantino. I wanted to stand up and clap at the end of this film, but my husband embarrasses easily so I just let the glory of the moment wash over me like a warm bath in chocolate money.

6. Frida

Painter. Woman. Strong. Couragous. Enough said.

7. Bridget Jone’s Diary (One and Two)

First of all, let’s just say I can relate to a blond, chesty journalist who is “just a little bit fat” and who also seems to have a genuine talent for screwing (things up). Also, the scene where the two boys, vying for her attention and settling an old score, fight (Colin Firth and Hugh Grant) out in the street as the song It’s Raining Men chimes in-well, that scene makes me almost pee my pants. Oh, the hilarity! I think Hugh Grant would be nothing without the hair. When his hair is all wet and mashed up in the sequel, he looses a bit of that British bad boy charm. It’s all about Hugh’s hair when it comes to Hugh.

8. Gangs of New York

This is one of those films that I like to watch once a year or so. Daniel Day Lewis is, again, brilliant in this film. Raw and gritty. Dirty and a wee bit frightening. This film fascinates me on so many levels. I love to think about the inner workings and the underbelly of such a grand city as New York is and this film feeds those curiosities in me. I love it.

9. Snatch

If I knew how to type out garbled Irish slang, that is exactly how I would write this next bit, but I don’t. In fact, I have watched this film several times to try and decipher exactly what Brad Pitt’s character is saying-to no avail. No matter. This movie is fast paced and interwoven and amusing. The dry British come-backs thrill me. The speech the creepy old guy gives about why he owns a pig farm is both frightening and utterly disgusting in one fell swoop. My kind of movie.

10. Where the Wild Things Are

This film was amazing and alive and real in so many ways. The thing I took away from it was that kids do not-I mean do NOT-understand why adults gets so worked up and pissed off and grumpy and argumentative and depressed. I took from this film the understanding that the world of adults, to some children, is as frightening and mysterious as any monster-world. If we could remember that the next time we feel compelled to engage in a petty argument in front of our kids (speaking to myself here now) then it would be a different world. I have been trying to remember the impression this film gave me when I feel a disagreement coming on and then I stop myself and I walk away. There is something about this movie that seems classic even though it is quite new. I am a fan. For sure.

Tags: brad pitt, daniel day lewis, decade in review, Jody Coughlin, peter jackson, tarantino, top ten films
Posted in 2000's: A Decade in Review, Lists, Reviews

06
Jan
2010

Horror Movie Top Ten List #3: Vampire Movies

7 Comments

"Get off my lawn you damn kids!"

by Isaac Thompson

Is there anything better than a great vampire movie? Probably, but for the purpose of this article let’s say no, there isn’t.

In this entry of my Horror Movie series, I have decided to celebrate my all time favourite vampire movies and it was the opposite of easy (whatever that is). There are so many great vampire movies that it was impossible to narrow it down to just 10, so I cheated a little as you’ll see.

But before I talk about the good ones, I’ve gotta spend some time talking about:

Twilight: The Elephant in the Crypt (or: Rant in the Key of Sparkling Vampires):

Have you ever thought to yourself that vampires are pretty neat and all, but it would be way better if instead of being scary blood-sucking monsters who rise from the grave to terrorize the living , they were pale underwear models who’d stay up all night cuddling and talking about their feelings? Have you ever felt in your gut that instead of wielding their awesome powers for evil, vampires should formally introduce themselves to your parents and make googly eyes at you ’til you feel like throwing up?

Of course you haven’t, that would be ludicrous…right? Right?

Vampires are the hottest thing right now. I recently visited a local middle school and before I was escorted off the property by the police, I got literally thousands of testimonials about how much the kids ‘dig’ “Twilight” and how ‘far out’ and ‘groovy’ they find vampires now. Vampires have replaced zombie flicks as the current horror sub-genre that has been drug out of the ghetto, prettied up and put on display for the masses by the big brain-deficient parasite that is the Hollywood marketing machine. If you don’t know by now, everything that Hollywood touches it destroys. Thanks to “Twilight” we’re at the beginning of a tedious and predictable slope.

What happens now is Hollywood will spend the next few years releasing vampire movies, each one more watered down than the last until the whole thing caves in on itself and every ounce of integrity has been drained from the genre (They did it to zombie movies). It wont be long until no one gives a shit anymore and vampire movies spend the next 20 years crawling out from the muck Stephanie Meyer so gleefully buried them in with her shit books and her shit movies.

The new trendy breed of vampire aren’t interested in being scary, they’d rather look sexy and fall in love. This neo-neutered-vampire can be found everywhere in today’s world. On Television there is the brutally popular vampire series “True Blood” which has inexplicably stayed on the air longer than the actually good HBO series’ “Deadwood” and “Lucky Louie” (If “Entourage” hasn’t proven to you that HBO airs terrible shows just like every other network, I submit exhibit B: ‘True Blood’). There is the tweeny “Cirque du Freak” book series and lame looking movie adaptation “The Vampire’s Assistant”, something called “the Vampire Diaries” (I’m sure the less I know about that one, the better) and of course, the multi-media phenomenon that is “Twilight”. Stephanie Meyer’s series about vampire puppy love has sold over 70 million copies (!) and the film version made $382 million worldwide (!!!). The sequel “New Moon” is currently in theaters and has been breaking box office records all over the place (FML).

If you’ve read any of my earlier horror movie articles you know I’m not a fan of “Twilight”. You also now know that all of my “Twilight” jokes in the previous articles were leading to the lame sight gag above. Truth be told I’d never read “Twilight” or watched the movie. I’d read enough about it and seen enough clips during the blitzkrieg of promotion that followed the film’s release to know I didn’t like it. Still I figured I should at least watch the movie for this article. So I did just that.

I was not swayed.

I’d like to share a few choice thoughts:

1. I think the Feminist publication “Bitch Magazine” put it best when they poignantly dubbed “Twilight” ‘Abstinence Porn’.

2. I know a lot of people say “Oh, ‘Twilight’ isn’t so bad, it’s a beautiful love story” (yes it is that bad and no it’s not a beautiful love story). Or “Come on, it’s for teenage girls” (this movie makes ‘Hanna Montana’ and ‘The Wizards of Waverly Place’ look like the most riveting hour on television). The truth is; “Twilight” is the most sorry excuses for a love story I’ve ever seen. Sure, Bella is in love with Edward. I know this because she spends like 3/4ths of the movie telling him how wonderfully dreamy he is. But the thing is, Edward never tells Bella such things, he simply wants her. Although it’s her blood he hungers for instead of her sex (by God’s wounds, what a brilliant twist!). He doesn’t seem to be ‘in love’ with her, he just wants her hot body. Is that what today’s teenage girls think love is? A self obsessed, good looking guy who couldn’t give a damn about his conquest other than the fact that she makes him horny (or toothy) ? Is that what passes as a love story these days? *crickets*

3. The acting is awful. It’s like the most sickening episode of “Dawson’s Creek” ever filmed. Robert Pattinson’s acting ability consists of one silly face. I’m pretty sure Zoolander was his acting teacher.

1 picture = 1000 words

4. The worst thing about “Twilight” is that it’s about vampires. I love vampires and twilight is ruining them. The vampires in twilight don’t kill people, they apparently eat animals but we never see that because it would border too much on cool. Instead they play baseball during thunder storms and when exposed to sunlight they SPARKLE LIKE DIAMONDS!!!!

5. When a vampire is exposed to sunlight it bursts into flames, period.

6. After two hours of nothing happening the movie ends and the self loathing begins. I’m seriously considering getting a refund on my tickets to see “Twilight 2: Zoolander’s Revenge!”.

Little known fact: "Zoolander" is actually a better vampire movie than "Twilight"

There, I feel a lot better. Now on with the list of the best Vampire movies.

Top Ten List # 3/10 : Top Ten Vampire Movies:

Vampire Movie 101:

- Vampires (or vampire type creatures) have existed in human folklore for about as long as humans have existed. Every culture has their variation on the vampire myth. Back in the days before we realized that sexiness makes everything better, vampires were depicted as bloated, smelly walking corpses. In 18th century Europe, people blamed all of their problems (plagues) on vampires. In those days it wasn’t too uncommon to see your friendly neighbourhood vampire slayer digging up graves in your local bone yard in order to drive a stake through the hearts of those mischievous corpses while a crowd of onlookers cheered him on.

- Vampires quickly made their way into the arts. Famous dead guy Edvard Munch depicted one in his painting “Vampyrin” in 1893. The earliest known literature involving vampires was the poem “The Vampire” (1748) by Heinrich August Ossenfelder. The first fictional prose concerning vampires was “The Vampyre” (1819) by John Polidori. This novel was originally erroneously credited to Lord Byron (Polidori was actually Byron’s personal physician). Polidori conceived his novel as part of a “who can come up with the scariest story” pissing contest held by a group of bored authors. The winner of said contest was 18 year old Mary Shelly whose story “Frankenstein” you may be familiar with. In 1845 a guy named James Malcolm Rymer wrote a penny dreadful serial story called “Varney the Vampire”. It was extremely popular in it’s day and it marked the first time a vampire was shown as a tragic figure as opposed to a demonic monster.

"Vampyrin" by Edvard Munch (1893)

- What really got the ball rolling for the vampire was Bram Stoker’s “Dracula” (1897). It is easily the most popular, important and influential bit of vampire fiction ever conceived. Stoker was the first guy to stumble onto the inherent sexual metaphor of the exchange of body fluids that takes place in an encounter with a vampire. In Stoker’s novel Vampirism is treated as a disease (our heroes combat Dracula’s tainted bite with constant blood transfusions) and thus was a relatable metaphor in old syphilis ridden Victorian Europe. Another stroke of genius in Stoker’s inspired book is the main character’s namesake. Dracula is named after a real historical figure, Vlad III, Prince of Wallachia. Vlad’s nicknames included “Vlad the Impaler” (which I think was due to his habit of impaling people and not his Romanian hospitality) and Dracula (a sort of sir-name which means “son of the dragon” or “don’t fuck with me”). This historical aspect helped imbed the legend and give the book a cool “this totally actually happened” feel.

- Here’s some more non-movie Vampire fiction of note:

Books: Richard Matheson – I am Legend (1954), Stephen King – ‘Salem’s Lot (1975), Anne Rice – Interview with the Vampire (1976), Whitley Strieber – The Hunger (1981)

TV: Dark Shadows (1966), The Night Stalker (1972), Buffy The Vampire Slayer (1997), Angel (1999), Hellsing (2002)

One of the best damn horror novels ever written.

___________________________________________________________________________

# 10. Vampires

vampiresjc

[1998]

Starring: James Woods, Daniel Baldwin, Sheryl Lee, Thomas Ian Griffith, Maximilian Schell

Written by: Screenplay: Don Jakoby, based on the novel by John Steakley

Directed by: John Carpenter

What it’s about: Vatican sponsored vampire killer Jack Crow (James Woods) is the sole survivor of his crew after a deadly attack (slaughter) by the world’s oldest and most powerful vampire. Jack assembles a rag-tag team to stop the vampire from obtaining the all powerful such and such.

Why it’s good: “Vampires” is a film with a very straight forward plot that really serves as just an excuse to show some of the most badass, badassery ever shown in the genre of vampire ass kicking. James Woods is dead on as the hardened, smartass action hero who’s quick with the one-liners (and most of Mr.Woods’ awesome one-liners were ad-libbed). He acts with a playful enthusiasm and has his badass snarl down to a science.

“Vampires” plays out much more like an action packed western than vampire movie, but John Carpenter has enough respect and experience with the genre to be able to deliver some great horror moments. The “vampire slayers at work” scene that opens the film is a great example. John Carpenter is a horror fan’s best friend.

# 9. Shadow of the Vampire

[2000]

Starring: John Malkovich, Willem Dafoe, Udo Kier and Cary Elwes

Written by: Steven A. Katz

Directed by: E. Elias Merhige

What it’s about: A wildly imaginative retelling of the filming of F.W. Murnau’s 1922 masterpiece “Nosferatu”. in the film, Murnau (played by Malkovich) hires a crazy method actor named Max Schreck (Dafoe) to portay Count Orlok the vampire. Schreck’s strange behavior seems to creep out everyone he meets. The crew of the film begin to suspect Schreck is an actual vampire.

Why it’s good: This movie has one of those awesomely cool ‘why-didn’t-I-think-of-that’ concepts and that should be enough to get anyone to watch it. The two leads; John Malkovich and Willem Dafoe are on top of their game. Dafoe does a dead on portrayal of Count Orlok/Max Schreck. It’s one of those out-of-body performances where the actor seems to disappear in the character.

# 8. Interview With the Vampire

interview-vampire

[1994]

Starring: Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, Kirsten Dunst, Antonio Banderas and Christian Slater

Written by: Anne Rice, based on her novel

Directed by: Neil Jordan

What it’s about: A reporter snags the interview of a lifetime, a real (not so) live vampire! The vampire, named Louis, tells of his 200 years of existance with his vampire companions; the eternally young Claudia, and the evil trickster Lestat.

Why it’s good: The epic scope of “Interview With a Vampire” gives it the feel of a sprawling history lesson…With vampires! The storyline spans 200 years in different American historical settings. Each era shows the movie exploring new moods without ever losing the overall tone of the picture.

The casting of Tom Cruise as Lestat was a controversial one at the time (even Anne Rice publicly complained) but I have to hand it to him, he did a fine job, as did Brad Pitt and Christian Slater. Far and away the best performance in this movie is by (believe it or not) Kirsten Dunst as Claudia. Her performance is very disturbing in its realism and honesty. She captures the inner emptiness of a centuries old soul trapped forever in the body of a little girl with maturity and a real sadness .

# 7. The Lost Boys

[1987]

Starring: Jason Patric, Kiefer Sutherland, Corey Haim, Corey Feldman and Jami Gertz

Written by: Janice Fischer, James Jeremias and Jeffrey Boam

Directed by: Joel Schumacher

What it’s about: Michael and Sam Emerson move to a California town with their mother. Michael then ends up hanging out with the wrong croud; I’m talking the undead, bloodsucking, sun-fearing crowd. It’s up to Sam and his new pals, two self proclaimed “vampire hunters”, to stop the curse. Which is really hard when one of the vampires you’re trying kill is Jack fucking Bauer!

Why it’s good: “The Lost Boys” is fun, thrilling and hilarious. It’s a hard combo to pull off. It’s a twisted take on Peter Pan with a rock and roll soundtrack. Most 80’s babies like myself know it well. You don’t find this much entertainment, smarts and style in one movie very often.

# 6. From Dusk Till Dawn

duskdawn

[1996]

Starring: Harvey Keitel, George Clooney, Quentin Tarantino, Juliette Lewis, Ernest Liu, Fred Williamson, Tom Savini, Cheech Marin and Salma Hayek

Written by: Quentin Tarantino, based on a concept by Robert Kurtzman

Directed by: Robert Rodriguez

What it’s about: Richie and Seth Gecko are two crooks on the run from the cops. They take a family hostage and head towards Mexico, specifically a bar called The Titty Twister, and find themselves smack dab in the middle of a vampire feeding frenzy.

Why it’s good: With “From Dusk Till Dawn” you get two movies in one. It’s part Tarantino gangster flick, part over-the-top splatter picture. Tarantino’s script is typically smart and super-cool, and Robert Rodriguez is one of the best directors mainstream Hollywood has to offer. He does a seamless job at merging a gritty crime flick with an “Evil Dead” style orgy of gore.

This movie marks the first starring role for George Clooney and it’s one of my favourite parts he’s played. He portrays Seth Gecko with a cool, detached confidence in contrast to Tarantino’s manic depiction of little brother Richie (easily Quentin’s best role). It’s a big, loud, rock ‘n’ rollin vampire movie. Nothing quite like it.

# 5. Martin

martin

[1977]

Starring: John Amplas, Lincoln Maazel, Christine Forrest and Tom Savini

Written by and directed by: George A. Romero

What it’s about: Martin is a nice young boy with a severe problem: He believes himself to be an undead creature of the night. This belief drives him to stalk the night, murdering women with a razor-blade so that he can feed on their blood.

Why it’s good: George “I created the entire sub-genre of zombie movies” Romero is one of horror history’s all time great social satirists. He makes films with a purpose and a message. He’s responsable for some of the finest horror flicks ever including the original “Night of the Living Dead” and “Dawn of the Dead”. Martin is one of Romero’s best and most overlooked films.

Romero’s gritty film isn’t about true vampires in the classic sense, it’s a look into the mind of a disturbed young sociopath who is so mad he thinks he’s immortal. It’s like “Dracula” meets “A Clockwork Orange”.

Tom Savini is the Frank Sinatra of gore and nails it like a night at The Sands. There are some brilliant set-pieces of splatter and hemoglobin in this film. It’s all played as real as can be and some scenes are truly hard to watch.

# 4. Fright Night

petervincenteh3

[1985]

Starring: Chris Sarandon, William Ragsdale and Roddy McDowall

Written by and directed by: Tom Holland

What it’s about: All American High School kid, Charlie Brewster has a problem: His new next-door neighbour is a vampire. Charlie’s parents and peers think he’s crazy so he proves them wrong by doing something totally un-crazy: He asks Peter Vincent (an actor who was famous for portraying a fearless vampire killer in his old films) to help him slay the beast. Pure 80’s magic.

Why it’s good:Created by Tom Holland (the same mad genius who brought us the genre classic “Child’s Play”), “Fright Night” is a simple old fashioned vampire tale with a few modern twists. Sure, it has great special effects, synthey 80’s music and slick directing, but it doesn’t rely on those elements alone. “Fright Night” is more content to let the engrossing story and creepy atmosphere do the talking. The acting is great and all of the main characters are well defined, but the real star of this gem is Roddy Mcdowall who plays Peter Vincent. His performance is extraordinary. He delivers his lines with a gusto and enthusiasm that’s laced with a heartbreaking vulnerability. Robert Pattinson would do good to take note.

# 3. Near Dark

near-dark

[1987]

Starring: Adrian Pasdar, Jenny Wright, Lance Henriksen, Jenette Goldstein and Bill Paxton

Written by: Eric Red and Kathryn Bigelow

Directed by: Kathryn Bigelow

What it’s about: Boy meets vampire, boy is bitten by vampire, boy joins roaming gang of vampires.

Why it’s good: When I watch this movie today I’m still shocked by how gritty and uncompromising it is. “Near Dark” is a vampire movie full of innovations and surprises. What starts out as a love story quickly becomes a roller coaster ride through Hell. The gang of vampires, led by world-class badass Lance Henriksen, are viciously tough. The bar scene is classic and Bill Paxton’s performance is legendary.

# 2. Dracula

Dracula

[1922] / [1931] / [1958] / [1992]

Starring: Max Schreck / Bela Lugosi / Christopher Lee / Gary Oldman

Written by: Henrik Galeen / Garrett Fort / Jimmy Sangster / James V. Hart / Based on the novel by Bram Stoker

Directed by: F. W. Murnau / Tod Browning / Terence Fisher / Francis Ford Coppola

What it’s about: The original gangsta, Count Dracula, has decided Transylvania has nothing more to offer him and makes the move to England. He spends his time in his new hometown making friends and having sexy late night rendezvous with the hottest girls around. Everything in Big Count D.’s (un)life is totally groovy until that prick Van Helsing rolls into town wearing garlic around his neck and thumping his bible. A ghoul just can’t catch a break!

Why it’s good: For my number two spot (heh heh, number two…) I decided to make it a four-way tie between four different interpretations of Bram Stoker’s uber-important “Dracula”. Each one of these interpretations was vital in the time period they were released. Each one brought something new to the table, not only in regards to vampires but horror as a whole. Watching these four films is like a “Coles Notes” version of horror movie history, starting in the golden age of film, with F.W. Murnau’s “Nosferatu”.

“Nosferatu” was extremely important in the development of horror films. During the silent era of Hollywood there were semi-horror films such as “The Phantom of the Opera” and “London after Midnight”, but they would only dance around horrific subject matter and any supernatural threat was eventually revealed to be “just a dream” or they’d throw you the time tested “Scooby Doo” ending. Germany on the other hand were pushing the boundaries in both content and visuals. Films such as “The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari”, “The Golem” and “Nosferatu” were doing things no American film dared. Made before most living people were born, “Nosferatu” has aged better than most films of it’s day. It has an impressively chilling atmosphere and Count Orlok is still, hands down, the creepiest vampire ever.

Interestingly, at least to me, the makers of “Nosferatu” never got around to getting permission to make a movie about Dracula (hence the name change from ‘Dracula’ to ‘Nosferatu’) and were sued by Bram Stoker’s widow. Long story short, the filmmakers lost the case and all copies of “Nosferatu” were ordered destroyed. Luckily a few copies survived and the movie is readily available today! Film Industry: 1, Intellectual Property: 0

In 1931, Universal studios was a small underdog studio still trying to find its place in Hollywood. The company had hits in the silent era with their resident movie star and “man of a thousand faces” Lon Chaney, but the invention of talkies changed the game and Universal were struggling to keep up. Carl Laemmle Jr. was newly in charge of production and needed to carve out a niche for his father’s company.

Laemmle was a fan of suspense and horror stories, and when he saw “Nosferatu” he knew exactly what his next picture would be. He secured the rights from Stoker’s widow and began putting together a team to construct “Dracula”, America’s first supernatural talkie thriller. He was heavily influenced by “Nosferatu” and used that and the hit broadway production of “Dracula” as blueprints. He went so far as to hire much of the cast from the play including Bela Lugosi in his seminal role as the Count.

“Dracula” is outdated in many ways, but still a powerful film. There is absolutely no musical score and the staging is much more like a stage play than a movie, but Bela Lugosi’s amazing talent and charisma shines as brightly today as it did on audiences in it’s day. Lugosi’s portayal has been copied, parodied and regurgitated so many times that it is part of modern mythology. Laemmle’s intuition was dead on, “Dracula” was a huge hit and paved the way for every horror movie that followed. Soon, Universal became the horror studio, releasing classics such as “Frankenstein”, “The Bride of Frankenstein”, “The Mummy” and “The Wolfman”.

Interestingly, well to me anyway, a Spanish version of the film was produced simultaneously. The American crew would film by day, the Spanish crew at night: Same lot, same sets. In many respects the Spanish version is superior to the classic American one. It’s edgier in its depiction of violence and the camera work is much more adventurous and exciting.

Fast forward to 1957, this time it’s the U.K.’s chance to change the face of the horror film. Hammer Studios was quickly becoming the late 50’s answer to Universal Studios. They were hot off the heels of their hit “The Curse of Frankenstein” starring Peter Cushing as Victor Frankenstein and Christopher Lee as his monster. Hammer was re-making classic horror films in vivid colour, with amped up violence and sex. The rich red blood, the bulging bussoms, the gross makeup effects; Hammer’s horror combined gothic themes with the colourful comic book scares of E.C. Comic’s Tales From the Crypt series.

Dracula was a natural follow-up to “The Curse of Frankenstein”. Christopher Lee was cast as The Count, and Peter Cushing as Van Helsing. The film (titled “The Horror of Dracula” in the west to avoid confusion with Universal’s “Dracula”) was a revelation. Where Bela Lugosi played the character as a sophisticated gentleman with evil tendancies, Christopher Lee played the big “D” with the fury and intensity of a wolverine. A true force to be reckoned with.

The Dracula ritual came full circle in 1992 with the most faithful adaption to date. An all star cast of respected actors (and Keanu Reeves) combined with impressive modern effects amping up the sex and violence one step further. Gary Oldman’s Dracula is a tortured soul; denied love, peace and death. His Dracula is in constant pain, he finds no joy in his vampiric activities, only the brief satisfaction of transfering his immortal pain to his victims.

Director Francis Ford Coppola’s respect to his source material is impressive and yet he still makes nods to the films that came before his. There are homages in the film to “Nosferatu”, “Dracula” and”The Horror of Dracula”.

Being one of the most important literary characters ever, Dracula made the vampire what it is today (for better or worse). We haven’t seen the last of him. One of these days someone will show us a different side of the character and audiences will fall in love with Dracula all over again.

# 1. Let The Right One In

lettherightoneinpic

[2008]

Starring: Kåre Hedebrant, Lina Leandersson and Per Ragnar

Written by: John Ajvide Lindqvist, based on his novel

Directed by: Tomas Alfredson

What it’s about: The only soul young, introverted Oskar can relate to doesn’t really have a soul. She’s a vampire. And she’s afraid she might love him back.

Why it’s good: In one of the greatest ironies of our time, my absolute favourite vampire movie and my absolute least favourite have many similarities in their plots. They were even released around the same time. It also helps to further my earlier point about how the American film industry is often miles behind the curve when it comes to the horror genre.

Like “Twilight”, the beautiful, quiet Swedish movie “Let the Right One In” is a story of young love and vampires. The difference is; everywhere “Twilight” goes horribly wrong, “Let The Right One In” goes horribly right. Every stake is hit firmly on it’s head. The love story is played with complete honesty and layers of tragedy that the American industry seems afraid to touch on. The acting is top notch, the script doesn’t have a sour note. Most importantly, the rich history of the vampire legend is treated with total respect.

It’s a love story without the commercial “sexiness” of its American counterparts. It’s directed in a refreshingly quiet oldschool way. You wont find quick cuts and closeups during action scenes, the camera sits still as the action unfolds before us. There is an anxious anticipation that builds to some intense horror setpieces including a finale that will knock your socks off your ass. The young leads completely rule in this film. Although it is about children, it is the farthest thing from childish. The concepts are heavy, the story-line is deeply engrossing and the violence is brutal.

I don’t want to give too much away about this movie because there are probably a lot of you out there who havent seen it yet. I’ll leave you with this: It is the smartest and most satisfying vampire movie I’ve ever seen. It left me thinking about it for weeks. See it before Hollywood gets the bright idea to remake it as a “sexy” music video for tweenage twits.

This Just In: Hollywood is currently planning a remake of “Let the Right One In”….be afraid, be very afraid.

Somewhat like this article? Got some time to kill? Check out my last two entries:

Horror Movie Top Ten List # 1: Slasher Movies

Horror Movie Top Ten List # 2: Giant Monster Movies

Tags: Bela Lugosi, Christopher Lee, dracula, Hollywood, horror movie top tens, isaac thompson, John Carpenter, sweden, Twilander, vald the inhaler, vampires
Posted in Lists, Reviews

05
Jan
2010

The Movies of the Oughts

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a superfluous list by Jason Wilson

When I got the idea to put together a series of lists based on the opinions of friends and colleagues about the best media had to offer since 2000 I thought it would be a fun exercise. We get to look back and analyze the movies, music, television, books, etc. that meant the most to us over the last ten years. Of course these lists always bring out the wolves challenging your choices and that’s half the fun.

Movies have meant a lot to me since I was young. My folks rented me Dumbo and I watched it obsessively. It’s still my favourite non-Pixar Disney movie, based mostly on nostalgia. Since then, and maybe my parents regret it, they have been responsible for my growing love of cinema. They took me to Ghostbusters and Jurassic Park. When I was 13, they rented Goodfellas and I somehow managed to convince them to let me stay in the room despite the amount of vulgarity and violence. So here I sit, with thousands of dollars invested in a movie collection and I like to think I’m a reasonably well-adjusted individual despite my movie geek status. Then again I had initially compiled a list of my top 100 of the decade. I’ll spare you that whole list.

Honourable mentions: Up in the Air (2009 – Jason Reitman), Memento (2000 – Chris Nolan), There Will Be Blood (2007 – PT. Anderson), The Departed (2007 – Martin Scorsese), The Damned United (2009 – Tom Hooper), The Life Aquatic (2004 – Wes Anderson), Traffic (2000 – Steven Soderbergh), Shaun of the Dead (2004 – Edgar Wright), Sin City (2005 – Robert Rodriguez), Kill Bill 1 & 2 (2003-04 – Quentin Tarantino), Requiem For a Dream (2000 – Darren Aronofsky), Spider (2002 – David Cronenberg), Oldboy (2003 – Park Chan-wook), Big Fish (2003 – Tim Burton), Into the Wild (2007 – Sean Penn), Wonder Boys (2000 – Curtis Hanson).

And now, onto the top 10!

10. The Royal Tenenbaums (2001 – Wes Anderson)

I was living in Halifax when Tenenbaums came out. It looked like a quirky, funny movie and while it certainly was it ended up being much more than that. It’s a portrait of a broken family seemingly beyond repair, a cautionary tale that skill and money and success does not ensure your happiness in the world. If you act like a shit you’re going to feel like it eventually. 2001, I was fresh out of high school, living on my own for the first time and still figuring out what kind of person I am. Tenenbaums is hilarious but at the same time it shows the audience a glimpse of cartoonish reality hinged on despair and missed opportunities. It has forever forged an important connection to my heart because of its honesty and lack of compromise.

9. Broken Flowers (2005 – Jim Jarmusch)

Bill Murray’s renaissance has been built upon playing aging men whose lives have passed them by. After a string of terrible flops after the great Groundhog Day in 93, he reinvented himself in Wes Anderson’s Rushmore. Since then he has adopted the sad sack persona in film and hasn’t been better than here. While many credit Lost in Translation as his magnum opus as an actor, it’s Broken Flowers that I took to. Sexual conquest is a stereotypical rite of passage for men and he exemplified one such character. He made it rich, had fling after fling, and now stares mortality with the cold realization of the inevitable. But he doesn’t just sit there. He hits the road to trace his steps to find both a potential son and a greater meaning to all he has been and all he has done. It’s a bittersweet tale that fuels wanderlust and a longing to reconnect with those who have disappeared from our lives over the years.

8. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005 – Shane Black)

What a pleasant surprise. Robert Downey Jr. and Val Kilmer in their finest form and a sharp performance from Michelle Monaghan who has not been this good since. It’s comic noir in the vein of Raymond Chandler and before HBO hit the scene with Bored to Death last fall. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang takes the private detective motif and spins it on its head while maintaining many of the old conventions of the days of Bogart and Bacall. Downey plays a chronic screw up, which he’s good at since, well, he is one as far as his media coverage has led me to believe. But he is on a quest for some sort of redemption, fixing his past mistakes. Mix that journey with a bunch of slapstick, great dialogue and a bunch of twists and turns and you have one of the most entertaining movies of the decade.

7. Inglourious Basterds (Quentin Tarantino)

I wasn’t going to include this. I hadn’t had the opportunity to see my favourites from 2009 a second time to verify my initial reactions until over New Year’s I watched Basterds again with a few friends. It was better the second time through and I am inclined to say it’s my favourite Tarantino film. From the opening sequence, an intense interrogation fueled by dialogue with music and shots straight from the best Sergio Leone; to Melanie Laurent as Shoshanna in the restaurant years later with a glass of milk in front of her; to the proper German way to order three scotches; Inglourious Basterds is equally entertaining and suspenseful. Then the Basterds themselves come in and punctuate the proceedings with a comic bookish flare that truly sets this apart from your standard WW2 flick.

6. No Country for Old Men (2007 – Joel and Ethan Coen)

No Country for Old Men is a rare beast. You could miss the real story the first time through. Sure, the surface plot is a chase between an arrogant man taking a chance with a stolen sack of cash and the psychopathic hunter chasing him down. Maybe it’s been beaten into the heads of everyone by now and it might be more obvious than I’m giving people credit for (it’s the meaning of the title for the love of God!). But it’s how the old sheriff has reached his limits of understanding how to deal with the world and the violence therein. Nothing has really changed in the world itself except he no longer has the capability to deal with it. It’s a young man’s game and his old guard is losing its grip. Of course the chase itself is such an incredibly woven story that it becomes the front-loaded storyline, though there is good reason why Moss’ fate happens offscreen. In my opinion, it’s even more effective this way.

Oh, and of course, Javier Bardem and Josh Brolin are both amazing.

5. High Fidelity (2000 – Stephen Frears)

My mother read Nick Hornby’s book High Fidelity several years ago. I had already seen the movie…probably three times by then. She laughed and said “you are Rob Gordon.” Now considering my unhealthy appreciation for all things John Cusack I was elated. The more I thought about it I’m sure she meant it was due to my compulsive list-making (no shock there) and my overall neurotic behaviour. This could be seen as a more light-hearted sister movie to the aforementioned Broken Flowers. Rob Gordon, like Bill Murray’s Don Johnston loses a love and is forced to look deep within himself and his past relationships. The humour is what really sets this one apart along with the supporting cast including Jack Black, Tim Robbins, Todd Louiso and Iben Hjejle. It has one of the best soundtracks around and talks about music in the way music lovers do…yes we are that abrasive…

4. Children of Men (2006 – Alfonso Cuaron)

The top of this list is mostly interchangeable. Hell, the whole top ten are movies I can watch over and over again. Children of Men is one I paid to see twice in theaters. It’s a perfect film experience and I wasn’t prepared for what I was getting into. It’s an apocalyptic tale that while it’s still very far-fetched is played out with so seriously that it becomes believable. That’s the difficulty with science fiction. Within the context of the story it is real. It helps that it is filmed with a tenacity filled with honest performances and an amazing script. You can’t help but get lost in the narrative and the sense of hope permeating throughout its bleak landscape.

3. City of God (2002 – Fernando Mereilles)

The ultimate gut punch of a movie. An unflinching account of the side of paradise not known to tourists and the struggles to survive in extreme poverty. It’s a beautiful movie where hopes and dreams are by and large crushed but a sliver of optimism remains. I’m sure if you’ve been told about City of God, chances are it’s been recommended to you as a must see. The violence isn’t glorified. Not a shot is wasted. And in this case, the lack of known actors helps the wallop the movie carries with it. There is never a separation from the story as it is woven. One of the most absorbing movies of the decade.

2. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004 – Michel Gondry)

Falling in love and falling out of love are two of the most universal experiences we share. And yet, Eternal Sunshine is unlike any other portrayal of love and loss in the history of film. It goes beyond the non-linear storytelling too. Sure, it’s science fiction and completely off the deep end in terms of plot believability but in terms of how realistic the relationship between Joel and Clementine is, it’s something I think most of us would be able to relate to. Watching Joel relive all the terrible moments of his relationship as his memories disappear only to realize he’s getting rid of the good ones too and wants to stop is harrowing. Looking back on relationships, we isolate the good and bad but they are not exclusive. It’s a harsh reality, but love is never all roses no matter what tricks we play on ourselves.

1. Zodiac (2007 – David Fincher)

It’s a serial killer movie with more in common with All the President’s Men than with Fincher’s previous effort Se7en. It’s a procedural piece and a tale of obsession in the face of fear. Maybe it’s the journalist in me that elevates this movie as high as it is but I never feel like I’ve watched a three-hour movie when it finishes. I had just gotten a job at a Chapters in Fredericton when this was released in theaters. Bought my ticket on my lunch break and when they asked if I could stay later on my first day of work I told them I couldn’t because I had a movie to see. Good thing too because my love of Zodiac grows every day. The look and feel of the film is sharp yet gritty. It makes general assumptions about the truth but mostly because it is told from a very specific perspective (Robert Graysmith, who wrote the book it is based on). As long as you don’t hold it as 100 per cent accurate it should still provide an amazing portrait of the early 1970s in San Francisco and surrounding areas. This is easily my favourite David Fincher film, though Se7en is still right up there.

Epilogue

I numbered them though it was unnecessary. It was mostly because while they are interchangeable, Eternal Sunshine and Zodiac are the two above the rest for me and to run them in any other sequence would have ruined it…for me…remember, I’m a compulsive list making Rob Gordon type, though I don’t own my own record store.

Within the next couple weeks or so, these lists will have run their course. It was a fun exercise and I hope readers have enjoyed them. Now we can get back to original pieces, etc. that were the basis of the website in the first place. My goal, a resolution perhaps, is to get more fiction on the site as well as artwork. As much as I love writing, I was hoping to maintain a balance with the other art forms. Remember, if you ever wish to contribute, just drop a line.

Jason

Tags: best movies of the decade, broken flowers, children of men, city of god, decade in review, decade retrospective, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, high fidelity, jason wilson, kiss kiss bang bang, movies, no country for old men, royal tenenbaums, top 10 movies, zodiac
Posted in 2000's: A Decade in Review, Lists, Reviews

04
Jan
2010

Top Stuff of the Decade

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three difficult lists by Hiedi Irvine

My God, this was a toughie.

Music

Elliott Smith – Figure 8 (2000)

When I sat down to write this, part of me thought that the only CDs my favourite musician in the world had released in the past decade was From a Basement on a Hill, or ‘New Moon,’ both of which were from the grave. But, then I realized, ‘Figure 8 really isn’t so old!’ and was happy to be able to add it to the list. Happiness/The Gondola Man still sends chills down my spine. This was the album that opened me up to Mr. Smith, I was sitting in computer ed class in Grade 11, and then Son of Sam came on. It was love at first listen, I’d never heard such sadness in a voice so soft.

Hey Rosetta! – Into Your Lungs (2008)

My first experience with Hey Rosetta! was during the ECMA’s in Halifax in a church, to candle light. I had heard nothing but good things, but when Tim Baker sang it gave me goosebumps and I couldn’t get them out of my head. Then they released this album, and somehow their sound was perfectly captured in this beautiful, wow worthy kind of way. This is the album played on CBC Radio 3, at friend’s places, or at cafe’s across the country that makes you feel like you’re home.

Joel Plaskett – Ashtray Rock (2007)

No one sings like Mr. Plaskett. The other day while taking a drive to Fox Lake outside of Whitehorse, I asked the question, “Can you imagine a life without Joel Plaskett,”? To which my roommate Emily responded, “Our Lord and Saviour, Joel Plaskett? No.” Nope, there would be no life without the sound of Plaskett, I’ve got nothing more to say.

Arcade Fire- Neon Bible (2007)

Nothing is as haunting and as lovely as this album. It has this raw emotion that I never experienced through an album before, not ever. Intervention is one of my top three favourite songs, beginning with an organ and turning into something you won’t soon forget, with lines like “Working for the church while your family dies. You take what they give you and you keep it inside. Every spark of friendship and love will die without a home,” and “Singing Hallelujah with the fear in your heart”, and with a choir of voices singing things like, “Your life will fall a part.” Truest choir I’ve ever heard.

Patrick Watson – Close to Paradise (2006)

This one was the best free CD I ever got through the Aquinian, and if you’re a person who judges books and albums by their covers, you can tell right away it’s going to be brilliant. No one can hit notes like Patrick Watson. Nobody!

Fiona Apple – Extraordinary Machine (2005)

This is the best break-up album ever. So empowering and catchy, it’s hard to keep crying mixed in with the sweetness and good times that accompany most relationships. It was the only thing in my discman for a year, but don’t worry I got over the break-up before I got over the album, it was just too good to turn off is all.

Dr. Dog – Fate (2008)

Wow.

Fleet Foxes – Fleet Foxes (2008)

It was just….perfect. The Gregorian Chanting, the simplicity, it was stunning. Every song begins one way and has the possibility to go in completely opposite directions, possibilities, yeah, I think that’s why I’m so attracted to these tunes. Brilliance. ‘Your protector’ always just makes me belt it out, on the sidewalks, in the shower, anywhere, and sure by singing “As you lay to die beside me baby on the morning that you came, would you wait for me…” I may come off as slightly nutty, but it’s worth it.

Damien Rice – O (2002)

This was the most romantic and heart-breaking album of the decade. Easy.

Radiohead – Kid A (2000)

This album really topped one off for Radiohead. While ‘Hail to the Thief’ was still somethin’, and ‘In Rainbows’ marked the first time a band approached the idea of downloading and purchasing music in such a manner, Kid A was just this rare thing, unlike anything else out there. And, 13 year old Hiedi definitely stole this one from her older brother. So worth being called a thief for.

Aimee Mann – Bachelor No. 2 or, the last Remains of the Dodo (2000)

Cigarettes and red vines, just close your eyes ’cause baby you never do know…

I feel bad not having some Tori on this list, since to my own regret, I’m really not that into most female artists. But Aimee beat her out. There are several reasons for this going beyond Magnolia, and her guest appearances on Comedy Death Ray. She’s just an amazing talent. Depending on my mood, I have to say sometimes I think ‘Aimee, baby you’re bringin’ me down’ but more often she makes me smile and think ‘goddamn, Aimee you’ve done it again’.

Ben Folds – Songs for Silverman (2005)

Really, it’s been five years already, Benny boy? While Ben Folds has always been flat out awesome and unique to the nines, this one was just one for the books. One for the top (this has turned into 12) lists of the decade. His tribute to my main music man, Elliott Smith, ‘late’ was this beautiful tribute. Simple, “The songs your wrote, got me through a lot, just want to tell you that, but it’s too late.” And effective. “When desperate static beats the silence up, A quiet truth to calm you down” that on the same album with his infamous cover of “Bitches Ain’t Shit” – Ben Folds, man you’re just an unstoppable music master and I bow down to you. Yup.

Best in Television

*Please note, The Wire should be on this list, but since I’ve only seen ¾ of the first season, it’s not fair for me to completely judge it’s brilliance.

Modern Family (2009-)

Christopher Lloyd is probably one of the funniest fellows on the face of the earth and it seems as though the funniest episodes so far has had his name as the writing credit. Anyone who has ever watched Married With Children had to suspect that there was more life out there for Al Bundy, and what better way to come back than to be a rich man with grown children, and a hot younger foreign bride? Every character in this series is hilarious, they all have their own sense of humour and they all come off believable on some level. Favourite line to date: “I’m like Costco – I’m big, I ain’t fancy and I dare you not to like me?” -the lovable, huggable Cameron Tucker.

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005-)

This series has quotes out the yin-yang, and anytime Charlie enters a room you just have to wonder ‘What’s he up to!?’ It’s a rare find to come across a show that has some of the most controversial topics out there and still be knee-slapping funny every time. Way to deliver the goods, Paddy’s pub employees!

Six Feet Under (2001-2005)

At times Six Feet Under got a little bizarre. When David was going through some issues, it felt like they were never-ending. But from the start of every episode until the end of every season the originality and acting on every cast member’s part was 110 per cent refreshing and that deserves some serious recognition.

Breaking Bad (2008-)

There are so many reasons why Bryan Cranston won the Emmy award for Best Actor two years in a row. Watch it and you’ll see. You’ll all see.

Flight of the Conchords (2007-2009)

New Zealanders, good music and dry comedy are the things that make up a good life. Simple as that.

30 Rock (2006-)

Alec Baldwin, a.k.a. Jack Donaghy, thank you for letting me use the term ‘business drunk’ like I really mean it. This series is probably made up of the best cast on television right now and funny from start to finish. Every single time.

The Office (2005-)

Next to 30 Rock, the cast in The Office seems to be a match made in heaven. And although I’ve always liked it, I have to say that the Casual Fridays episode this past season made the show tug on my hearts strings that much more.

Law and Order: Special Victims Unit (1999-)

While living in Fort St. John, I started watching a lot more television than I had in years. Outside of the Colbert Report and The Daily Show, and on my everyday playlist was Law & Order: SVU after watching Law & Order: Criminal Intent. And as much as I like Goren, SVU just does it for me. I know it’s wrong, and sometimes there are scenes that are so artificial it’s painful to watch, but I have a special place in my heart for this show, and for detective Benson’s storyline/feminist spark. Like on today’s re-run, Slaves, when the fellow asked Benson for a drink, and her response was,“and I’d like your balls in a blender, but ain’t life a bitch.”

Big Bang Theory (2008-)

Sheldon, the main character has even sparked someone to investigate where his shirts come from. If that’s not proof of how popular the show is, I don’t know what is.

The Colbert Report (2005 -)

It’s hard to believe the Colbert Nation is only five years old. This eagle has certainly spread its wings and I for one, am all too happy it’s still flyin’ high. From shaving his head in Iraq, to ‘Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger’ Colbert is comedy gold.

The Best in Movies

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly (2007)

This film, I hate to say, I’ve only seen once. But it has stayed in my mind in a way no other movie has. It is this beautifully crafted film that not only moved me but made me think anything you love, or have come to know could be gone in an instant. But it also made me realize a person can do anything they put their minds too, even if that’s all they have the ability to use.

Up (2009)

Pixar movies just do it for me. They make me one very happy camper and Up was one of the most beautiful movies I’ve ever seen. There is a lot to be said about the power of silence, and from the opening scene on, you just have to appreciate the story of young love, growing old and losing love too fast.

Almost Famous (2000)

It’s ridiculous to realize that it’s been ten years since high school student William Miller got the opportunity to go on tour with Stillwater and write about the experience for Rolling Stone magazine learning from the great Lester Bangs along the way. Miller was 15 in the movie and when I first watched it, (without my parent’s knowledge) I was two years his junior. I wanted Penny Lane’s good looks, and Miller’s chance, yup that’s what 15 year old Hiedi wanted more than anything.

The Royal Tenenbaums (2001)

Enough said.

Bridget Jones’s Diary (2001)

The movie was almost as good as the book. This flick was made for women, and I have to say, Renee Zellweger captured our craziness amazingly well.

The Pianist (2002)

Roman Polanski may have done stupid things in his time but this is not one of them. The visuals are tough at times, to say the least, but realistic and moving in ways that are indescribable.

Big Fish (2003)

Magic. Pure magic.

How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days (2003)

Because we’re all allowed guilty favourites.

Transamerica (2005)

Felicity Huffman deserves every award possible. The plot alone would normally throw me off, what with trying to get a sex change then finding out along that path that your sexcapades from the past have caught up with you and you have a child and all. But it’s beautifully done and the relationship you watch unfold between father and son is unlike any I’d ever seen.

I’m Not There (2007)

When I first watched this flick I wondered what I could have possibly been smoking. I went into the movie all wrong, with no real knowledge of who Bob Dylan was (I’d say is, but he’s changed, let’s face it) and so was very confused by all the versions of him that existed within this film. I knew that there had to be reasons why some of the top actors in the business passionately portrayed the man, so there was a spark ignited and I had to learn more then re-visit this work. I read Dylan On Dylan trying to understand, and after reading about who he was, I got it. It irked me as a journalist type since I figured if I were having an interview with someone like that, I’d want to lose it….but it was the 70s and perhaps in that time I would have been a different person in every interview too. Maybe no one will know the real Dylan, but the many lives he claimed he lived are brought to life in quite a way, once you figure it out.

Tags: 30 rock, almost famous, ben folds, best of the decade, bob dylan, breaking bad, bridget jones's diary, decade retrospective, elliott smith, fleet foxes, hiedi irvine, how to lose a guy in 10 days, i'm not there, joel plaskett, Journalism, movies, Music, pianist, roman polanski, royal tenenbaums, television, the office, transamerica, writing
Posted in 2000's: A Decade in Review, Lists

31
Dec
2009

Top Ten Albums of the 00’s

1 Comment

by Ben Dalton

As this decade comes to a close, I’d like to be able to say that this also wraps up ten years of intense musical listening, but this would be wishful thinking at best. Truth be told, as the decade opened my musical taste little resembled what it is today, and for good reason: I was 15 years old, devoid of an older sibling to assist in my search for good music. I was at the peak of my pop-punk obsession, with blink-182 and Sum 41 dominating my discman playcounts. Kid A was a mere curiosity to me at the time, and I never actually heard the whole thing through until at least four years later. My first serious music purchase of the decade came in 2002 when following the viewing of I Am Trying to Break Your Heart, I decided I wanted to own Yankee Hotel Foxtrot. While my initial impression of the album was mixed, almost as if I was embarrassed to own what to me at the time was such a ‘grown-up’ album, there was a certain richness and complexity to the music that even my grade eleven self was drawn to, albeit hesitantly. What followed was a two-year screamo phase, when Thursday and The Used were the hot bands in my world. Yet existing alongside this blistering noise was a casual appreciation for Sigur Ros, shared amongst many of my friends that was simply taken for granted. Their music was so strange, so otherworldly yet so accessible. Other hot acts of the day fared less well in my books; I remember specifically disliking the Strokes, The White Stripes and Interpol upon first exposure. It wasn’t until 2004 and the Arcade Fire’s Funeral and the Postal Service’s Give Up that my taste in music began to move away from the maximalist distortion of screamo and began opening up to the many interesting things that contemporary music had to offer. 5 years later, there’s been so much amazing music made and so much more to discover. The sheer amount of music being produced is overwhelming but each year never fails to deliver a handful of stellar releases that I believe will stand the test of time. Ten years from now, it will be interesting to see which music from this decade ages well and what will end up sounding dated. But from my vantage point at the end of 2009, it was a hell of a ten years.

Honorable Mentions; Madvillainy- Madvillain (2004) , For Emma, Forever Ago- Bon Iver (2007), Kala- M.I.A. (2007), Return to Cookie Mountain- T.V. On the Radio (2006), The Milk-Eyed Mender- Joanna Newsom (2004), Untrue- Burial (2007), Sound of Silver- LCD Soundsytem (2007), Silent Shout- The Knife (2006), Original Pirate Material- The Streets (2002), Veckatimest- Grizzly Bear (2009)

10- Since I Left You- The Avalanches (2000)

The best party album of the decade is so much freakin’ fun that the fact that it’s built solely of samples from other records comes as a mere impressive afterthought. Which is not to say that Since I Left You is a mash-up record. Its samples are obscure; the end is more than the sum of its parts. I’m still waiting for the follow-up.

9- The Moon & Antarctica- Modest Mouse (2000)

Modest Mouse’s best album proves Isaac Brock to be one of the most captivating lyricists of our time; the record is filled with standout tracks brought together by an undercurrent of isolation and existential musings. Classic stuff.

8- Stankonia- Outkast (2000)

When was this not the best hip-hop album of the decade, if you can even call this freakfest anything resembling mainstream hip-hop to begin with? So musically and lyrically inventive they put basically all others to shame, the record still sounds so fresh today it’s hard to believe it’s almost ten years old.

7- Merriweather Post-Pavillion- Animal Collective (2009)

I knew from first listen back on January 1^st that this was something special. A year of listening has not changed my opinion. Psychedelic, warm, beautiful, strange; many adjectives can be thrown at this beast, but the response it elicits is essentially a personal one, and for me this is music for the soul. Accessible yet sounding like nothing else, these three boys create a lush universe that leaves me wanting more every time.

6- Ys- Joanna Newsom (2006)

I pity those people who say they can’t get past the vocal qualities of Joanna Newsom. Because however shrill and elf-like they may sound on first listen, they bring with them the best lyricist currently making music. Newsom’s music rewards repeated listens like little else out there; her songs can take a while to truly unravel. But man oh man, when they do what a beautiful sight (or sound). Who knew harp and vocals could be so endlessly rewarding?

5- Endless Summer- Fennesz

Fennesz albums don’t work the same way as most other music I’ve heard. They seem to grow less familiar over time, almost as if one’s idea or memory of the music is interchangeable with the music itself. And what music! Open, abstract, melodic yet not catchy enough to wear itself out, like listening to someone’s nostalgia made sonic from years past; Essential.

4- Yankee Hotel Foxtrot- Wilco

Wilco’s best and most fractured album perfectly marriages harmony and discord as if in a murky reflection of Jeff Tweedy’s damaged psyche. So many great songs, so much static and noise. Too bad they’ll never top it. (R.I.P. Jay Bennett)

3- Illinois- Sufjan Stevens

Where to begin with this puppy? This album blew my mind when I first heard it, and proceeded to get better from there. So many ideas, emotions and melodies it can fill five lesser records, so large in its scope yet also so intimate all at once, I’m not sure Stevens will ever top himself with this amazing album, which continues to give so much on every listen, almost five years later.

2- Kid A- Radiohead

As mentioned before, I was a relative late-comer to this un-crackeable masterpiece, but am now convinced its Radiohead’s finest hour, a tall statement indeed. As inexplicable as it must have seemed upon first release, Kid A is one of those rare albums that seems to exist in a universe of its own. It’s a lonely universe to be sure, filled with strange rock formations and undiscovered oceans, but its strangeness and un-knowability make it all the more re-listenable.

1- Person Pitch- Panda Bear

How the hell do you release the best album of the decade AND give it the decade’s best album cover all at once? I guess if you’re Noah Lennox. One third (the best third) of Animal Collective delivered in 2007 a record that eclipsed his group’s entire output while not sounding like anything they’d done before or since. Comparisons to the Beach Boys were apt, but Person Pitch is the rarest of albums: so packed with hooks, sometimes multiple great ones in one epic song you’d swear it was a greatest hits collection. But it’s the cohesiveness of the whole thing that gets me coming back again and again, as if the whole thing were one never-ending song; Person Pitch is a strange place, but a place worth visiting endlessly. And that’s a very rare thing indeed.

Tags: 2000s a decade in review, ben dalton, top ten music of the decade
Posted in 2000's: A Decade in Review, Lists, Reviews

23
Dec
2009

The Best in Television Since 2000

8 Comments

an idiot box list by Dave Briggs

1. The Wire

Obviously this is top choice for the list, and should be the top pick for every person writing a best of television list for the 2000s. I mean Harvard is going to be teaching a course on the awesomeness of The Wire. I shouldn’t have to get into much detail as to why it is the best show of the 2000s because if you’re reading a Top Ten TV list and haven’t watched the complete series, you’re doing it wrong. No other show even comes close to the grittiness, and realism the Wire does concerning police work, drug dealing, gangsta life, and the politics of a crime infested city, such as Baltimore. The Wire is a no brainer when it comes to the best of the best.

2. Arrested Development

Another obvious choice. No other comedy that has come out in the last 10 years has had the sharp writing, brilliant acting, and overall attention to detail when it comes to story arcs. If you miss an episode, you’re shit out of luck when the next one comes on because you’ll only be able to get about half of the jokes. Again, if you’re reading a best of list, and you haven’t watched Arrested Development, you’re failing at life.

3. Curb Your Enthusiasm

Being a massive Seinfeld fan, Curb is as good as it’s going to get. I realize the Larry David that is in Curb is not the real life Larry, but I like to think it’s not far off. I saw an interview with LD where he broke character and it was unsettling that he’s not a raging asshole. The brilliance of Curb is during Larry’s day-to-day argument you can see where he’s coming from. You can get behind his argument, just as easily as the people who he’s confronting. Another element of Curb that is interesting is that it shows a bastardized version of what it is like to be the creator of a highly successful television series, and what living the day to day life in Hollywood is like. Unlike Entourage, where it’s Maxim magazine’s version of Hollywood life, there is a point of realism within Larry and the company he keeps.

4. Dexter

Something that makes Dexter so interesting is it’s a show that would never have been picked up by a network during the 80s or 90s. A show that showcases the human side of a serial killer. Not only do you see the ins and outs of what a murderer does everyday, but also you find yourself rooting for him. It has to be a very difficult show to write because the writers need to incorporate Dexter growing as a human while maintaining a stable outside of killing life, and of him brutally murdering people. Viewers should not find Dexter a sympathetic character at all but the writers are able to make him personable, funny, and just down right likeable. One fault in the show is how many fucking gruesome serial killers is Miami going to have?

5. The Colbert Report

Now it’s not a sitcom, but it is the most consistently funny show on television. Colbert has created a character so perfect for his format that when the jokes are working there isn’t anyone better. The small things, such as him taking the applause from every guest he has is an example of how perfect the character is. I remember when Colbert first started, it was so weak compared to the Daily Show. Then just a few short months later he was on top of his game and was consistently funnier. The fact he is able to follow Jon Stewart, with the same formatted show, and not remain in the shadows is enough for the Colbert Report to be apart of anyone’s best of list.

6. The Shield

The Shield is similar to Dexter where the lead character is such an awful example of a person but is still likeable. That’s pretty much where the similarities end. The writing on the Shield was predictable, and sometimes laughable. One thing that is for sure is its badassness. There are so many “holy fuck” moments in this show that is has to be considered one of the best. The story is simple: a badass gang cop in Los Angeles does whatever he wants to get his job done. Whether it is killing cops, framing gangsters, taking names and kicking ass, Vic Mackey isn’t to be fucked with. The Shield is over now and there wasn’t a weak season. Don’t expect the brilliance of the Wire while watching it, but there is no way to be disappointed. The head writer, Kurt Sutter, now works on Sons of Anarchy, which carries the same level of badassness.

7. It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Another FX show, which in a way is nothing more than a modern day Seinfeld. The characters are horrible, selfish people, but are relatable, and hilarious. No issue is taboo for It’s Always Sunny. In many cases it crosses the line, which is what a good comedy needs to do. If the jokes or situations are dumbed down to reach a broader audience then it’s not going to work. There is subtlety to each character, which is what makes them work. Each of the 5 main characters are self-centered, but in their own specific manners. It’s not just a case of 5 people being jerks; they are all jerks in their own special ways.

8. Extras

When Ricky Gervais has creative control he can do no wrong. Both The Office and Extras are brilliant. Each series had the sense to stop while they were ahead. Gervais doesn’t leave any questions unanswered and is able to wrap up two amazing shows with just 13 episodes. Extras noses out The Office because it is absolutely perfect. It focuses on an oblivious actor doing whatever he can to get screen time. When he does make it big, it’s a program that he doesn’t support and knows it’s not funny. The show has balls, and allows the viewer see why there are such shitty shows on major networks. The show within a show in Extras is aimed at a large demographic, and is so dumbed down that it’s unbearable. The Christmas special, where Gervais is a part of the Celebrity Edition of Big Brother is genius. If you haven’t watched this, get on it.

9. Six Feet Under

Six Feet Under is special in a way that no other series has been able to do. It makes you care about every character in the show. To say it bluntly the show is depressing as fuck but its brilliant writing by Alan Ball helps level out the depressing shit with the quirky, and the funny. The show has a real feel to it like you are just looking in on the lives of the Fisher family. Six Feet Under is able to do the impossible: take a critically acclaimed show, and end it on a high note. Very few shows are able to end the same way they started. This show ends perfectly without anything being left unanswered.

10. 30 Rock

While it’s starting to decline in quality, 30 Rock started off so strong that it deserves a spot on a top 10 list. 30 Rock does to an extent what Curb and the Larry Sanders show was able to do. It shows the backstage life of how your favourite show is created. Tina Fey is a great writer, and great comedic actors like Alec Baldwin and Tracy Morgan can bring her writing to the screen. Morgan specifically, who was barely used during his time on SNL, but when he was, he stole the show. 30 Rock is also bringing the life back to NBC’s Thursday night. The group of shows on right now is the best since Seinfeld was the 10 o’clock anchor. This show is hardly a surprise, and will likely be on many lists because it’s an Emmy magnet, and a critical darling. Sometimes those accolades are given to the right show.

Tags: 30 rock, arrested development, curb your enthusiasm, dexter, extras, it's always sunny in philadelphia, six feet under, stephen colbert, television, the colbert report, the shield, the wire
Posted in 2000's: A Decade in Review, Lists

23
Dec
2009

Jawnpee Recommends Music from the 2000s!

3 Comments

another reluctant list by John P. Rairdon

I do not envy Rolling Stone right now. A day after publishing their always controversial top 100 albums and songs of the decade there was, without a doubt, quite a ruckus from the rabble of objectors.

To make things worse Unfiltered Smoke asked me for just 10. A “top 10 of the decade”. I’m not doing that. What I am going to do is to tell you what albums I listened to most and from what year they came. Some years had several good pieces and some had none that made my list. When faced with a ‘tie’ I’ll pick the album I believe needs the props.

I did not compile this list for you to search through and match with your favs, that’s Rolling Stone’s job. I deliberately left off awesome albums by TOOL, AiC, Weezer, Blue Rodeo, Cake, Jack Johnson, Mars Volta, Muse, Queens and numerous others. Get every one of those guys’ albums too.

Nickelback: The State (2000)

I know there are haters. Fuck, I’m a hater too but this album started something. You’ll never learn to appreciate this record after the last decade’s worth of abuse from this band but this album had legs back in the day.

Days of the New: III (2001)

Marked a new, brilliant direction for Travis Meeks. It also marked the last time that fucker ever made some music. It was so good that nobody liked it which may have led to Travis becoming a TV star on TV’s Intervention and he never looked back.

Lovage: Music to Make Love to Your Old Lady By (2001)

This was made to fill the sexy void left wide open by the passing of Portishead. One track, a cover of Berlin’s big hit from the 80’s “Sex, I’m a” made me feel like I was a teenager all over again. The masturbation was good back then.

Jerry Cantrell: Degradation Trip Volumes 1 & 2 (2002)

Jerry teamed up with the original Puffy (drummer) and Trujillo (bassist) to make a masterpiece on 2 pieces of plastic. If Degradation Trip were a body of water it’d be dark, muddy and have sharp, sharp hooks once you sank in deep.

I Mother Earth: Quicksilver Meat Dream (2003)

A beautiful farewell album. Produced by David Bottrill, this album turned the band’s style on its side. Did Bottril make IME sound like TOOL or did TOOL ask to sound like David Bottril? Now, don’t think about it again because you need to focus on Quicksilver Meat Dream as there’s just too much there to process anyway.

Helmet: Size Matters (2004)

Page made a completely new band of some familiar faces and an old name. He changed his voice and sings more often than screams. Together they made some awesome, awesome songs. Not for every Helmet fan but ideal for anyone who wants to drive fast.

Gorillaz: Demon Days (2005)

I’m ashamed to admit that Danger Mouse has trumped Automator with this newer version of Gorillaz. The songs are smooth and sexy. Many styles mash up yet stay well separated. The performers are all top notch and wholly appealing.

Sean Lennon: Friendly Fire (2006)

Sometimes he uses simple words and simple rhymes and simple sounds like hand clapping. Other times it’s off the wall with strange harmonies and organs and more. I love every song on this record and I can’t say why more than this man is awesomeness.

Secret Chiefs 3 – Xaphan: The Book Of Angels, Vol. 9 (2008)

I’ve followed the Chiefs for a decade now and they can be hit or miss with their mostly instrumental recordings. This time around the compositions are written by another man, a John Zorn. Does one avant-garde band playing another man’s avant-garde music make it any better? I don’t know but I can say that it’s refreshing and enjoyable. Vol. 9 is only a small part of many other volumes Zorn wrote. All the other Volumes were performed by other avant-garde bands.

K-OS – YES! (2009)

Look, it’s 2009 right now, I have not had time to hear everything that has come out yet and be objective about it. What I can say right now is that this album works for me. Some tracks are not to my taste but the others taste so great that I endure the bad ones.

Tags: best of 2000s, days of the new, gorillaz, helmet, i mother earth, jerry cantrell, john p. rairdon, lovage, Music, nickelback, sean lennon, secret chiefs
Posted in 2000's: A Decade in Review, Lists, Reviews

20
Dec
2009

The Best in Non-fiction of the 2000s.

1 Comment

a literary list by Amy Anderson

You can visit Amy’s blog at inwoodstock.blogspot.com

Since these lists all seem to contain a disclaimer, here’s mine: I like big books and I cannot lie. Metaphorically big, as in big ideas, and literally big, as in over 500 pages. I’ve divided them into categories for ease of sorting and my apologies if I’ve overlooked something essential. Out of the thousands of books published and the dozens I read, here are the best, happy reading!

History

1. Guns, Germs and Steel (Jared Diamond)

Polymath Jared Diamond tackles the question “Why did Europeans travel to other continents with a colonial agenda, instead of Africans, South Americans or Polynesians”? The answers, of course, are partly found in the title, but Diamond’s brilliant research weaves together geography, evolutionary history, cultural customs, animal husbandry, and technology into a fascinating portrait of the world as it developed from the dawn of agriculture to the present. Apparently the sequel, titled “Collapse” is also noteworthy, but sadly I haven’t read it.

2. The Great War for Civilization (Robert Fisk)

Fisk is a journalist’s journalist. He scorns the notion of being ‘embedded’ with the troops and brings his readers hair-raisingly close to the many conflicts of the Middle East. Fisk is also a keen historian, and his book details the folly of foreign intervention (from Lawrence of Arabia to Tony Blair). He writes with a great sense of irony and never forgets to tell the stories of ordinary people caught up in conflicts beyond their making or control. Well worth the read for anyone who wonders how the Middle East got to the point it’s at now.

3. Genghis Khan (John Man)

I bought this book on my way home from Hong Kong and nearly finished it by the time my plane landed. Genghis Khan presided over the largest continuous land empire in human history, united squabbling Mongol tribes into a ruthless fighting force feared by the Chinese and the Europeans alike, advanced literacy, fostered the development of the Silk Road, and could shoot an arrow nearly 2km’s while riding a horse. But you should read it yourself, it’s thrilling.

Paris, 1919. (Margaret MacMillan)

This book goes especially well with Fisk’s. MacMillan dissects the Paris peace conference after WWI. In addition to the punitive measures levied against Germany, this conference also redrew the map in many parts of the world, fuelling ethnic conflicts, wars and demonstrating that history is written by the victors.

Ideas

I’ve always loved thinking, and reading about other people’s ideas. My top five this decade:

1.The Shock Doctrine (Naomi Klein)

This book was a terrifying read, especially the opening chapters about the CIA brain experiments in Montreal in the 1950’s. Klein discusses the beginnings of ’shock therapy’ and scientists’ disastrous attempts to unmake and re-assemble the human identity. She then takes on Milton Friedman and neo-liberal economists, explaining that many of their policies were implemented by using the the language of ’shock therapy,’ followed by brutal political repression. She closes with discussion of how the newest economic developments are occurring in war-torn countries, where multi-national corporations often dominate dysfunctional national governments. This book took a lot of courage to write and read, I won’t lie.

2.Original Minds (Elanor Wachtel)

CBC Radio’s finest interviewer relives interviews with some of the finest minds of the 20th century, including Noam Chomsky, Bernardo Bertolucci, Jane Jacobs, Amaryta Sen, Jane Goodall and many more. The book contains transcripts of the interviews and is a tasty smorgasboard of ideas from different fields, which is a refreshing change from the single-topic tome.

3. The City of Words (Alberto Maguel)

Alberto Manguel is an Argentinian ex-pat formerly from Toronto, now living in France. This book is a transcript of the Massey Lectures he gave in 2007, in which he argues that words, language, story-telling and reading are the keys to identity, both individual and collective. Manguel takes his examples from ancient literature (the Epic of Gilgamesh), to modern literature (Doblin’s Berlin Alexanderplatz) to Inuit Film (Atanarjuat, the Fast Runner), and weaves them together to show us that we are the stories we tell.

4. Infidel (Ayan Hirsi Ali)

Like many people, I have become increasingly interested in the Muslim world. Ayan Hirsi Ali grew up in tribal Somalia and recounts her life, relatives and her decision to avoid arranged marriage, risk her life and move to the Netherlands. As a Muslim speaking out against Wahhabi fundamentalism, she was under death threats and police protection. Ali gives a courageous first-hand account of what Muslim life is like for many girls and women living in Somalia, Saudi Arabia and other fundamentalist countries. Heartbreaking at times, but ultimately a testament to one woman’s quest for freedom.

5. Evolve Your Brain (Joe Dispenza)

And to conclude the category…a book about neuroscience. Dispenza is a chiropractor by trade, but he’s studied neuro-biology, brain evolution and the interaction between brain and body. Beginning with the fascinating story of how he healed his own spine after being hit by an SUV travelling 55mph, this book shows how the brain works, how thought patterns are created, how we can become addicted physiologically to our own thoughts, and how we can use intention and the frontal lobe to change our behaviour. Our thoughts create our realities, read all about it!

Tags: amy anderson, books, education, history, ideas, information, non-fiction, the other side of town, words
Posted in 2000's: A Decade in Review, Lists, Reviews

18
Dec
2009

The Definitive, Indisputable and Infallible List of the Unquestionably Best Rock Music of the 2000’s

8 Comments

a list by Isaac Thompson (Who holds these truths to be self-evident)

**********

Disclaimer: There has been a little bit of controversy over these “Decade in Review” lists we’ve been posting. Some of our contributors have been getting flack for posting their opinions and I don’t think that’s fair. I know a lot of people say that if you post something on the internet you’re asking for criticism, but I say that’s horseshit. How do I know that? I know because I am directly asking for criticism.

I’m the type who is right tickled by controversy and I aim to start some. I could challenge you to tell me I’m wrong about my own opinion, but I’ll make it even easier for you. This isn’t simply my opinion; this is indisputable fact sent from the heavens and engraved in stone tablets. I’m 100% correct in all of my choices and I dare you to challenge me on it. That’s right, I dare you. To all you haters, trolls, know-it-alls, MENSA members, freemasons, PETA supporters, Dane Cook fans and armchair critics, I dare you to challenge me in the comments section below. I will gladly drill you a new one, you fucking sissies

Even if you agree with what I have to say and haven’t noticed all of the grammatical and/or spelling errors I’ve carefully littered this article with, I still dare you to challenge my authority. Bring it on, but be warned, you will be verbally eviscerated by yours truly and I’m a cruel sonovabitch.

Your suffering will be legendary….even in hell!

**********

THE TEN BEST ROCK ALBUMS OF THE OUGHTS

(in whatever order I please.)

Ryan Adams – Heartbreaker

(2000)

Not the most rockin’ album on my list in terms of volume, but it’s dripping an unmatched angst and sadness that you can almost feel just by touching the disc. Heartbreaker is without a doubt my pick for the best album of the decade. Maybe even the best ‘tear-in-your-beer’, ‘music-to-slit-your-wrists-to’ album ever conceived. It’s got all the sensitivity of his lame-duck imitators who litter the radio these days combined with Adams’ awe inspiring passion. He is a song writing tour de force (I highly recommend all of his albums) and Heartbeaker is the record where all of his stars aligned.

Songs like “My Winding Wheel”, “Oh My Sweet Carolina” and “Damn Sam (I Love a Woman That Rains)” are striking in their beauty. The Old Fashioned rockers “To Be Young (is to be sad, is to be high)” and “Shakedown on 9^th Street” are sure to have you stomping your feet and singing along at the top of your lungs. The album’s centerpiece “Come Pick Me Up” is one of the greatest songs of all time and shows off Adams’ talent for capturing heartbreak with simplicity and profound honesty.

The record has a stripped down quality that backs its broken hearted sentiment perfectly. If you’re freshly dumped and alone for the holidays, pick up a copy of this amazing record. It will be your best friend.

The Decemberists – The Crane Wife

(2006)

The Decemberists’ main songwriter Colin Meloy is a goddamned genius. His songs are filled with rich imagery laden lyrics that touch on folklore, history and the human condition. The Crane Wife is an absolutely amazing album. If it were released 30 years ago it would be held with the same regard as Pink Floyd’s “Dark Side of The Moon”. The album veers all over the place while remaining a singular coherent vision. There is the Folky duet “Yankee Bayonet”, the three part rock opera “The Island”, the bombastic “When the War Came” the cool and playful “Perfect Crime”, the poppy, sugar-coated gems “O Valencia!” and “Summersong”, as well as haunting numbers like “Shankill Butchers”. The Crane Wife is an album that demands you listen to it again and again, but fear not, you will be greatly rewarded if you comply.

The Arctic Monkeys – Whatever People Say I am, That’s What I’m Not

(2006)

Who knew a concept album about a night of clubbing would be the most electric, vital album of the decade? In terms of pure fuck-you-attitude and explosive youthful energy, nothing comes close to this record. It has a similar attention demanding combustibility of Nirvana’s “Nevermind” and The Sex Pistol’s “Nevermind the Bullocks…”. In a decade when a lot of good rock bands limped into obscurity and shit like Nickelback ruled all, these young British snots showed us what rock-and-fucking-roll is all about. It ain’t about wearing expensive leather clothes and singing ballads to teenage girls, it ain’t about musical merit and complexity either. It’s about passion, honesty, and true grit. Rock and roll has everything to do with attitude and the Arctic Monkeys are true ambassadors of ass-kicking attitude in the 21st century!

Fuck you!

Jimmy Eat World – Bleed American

(2001)

I present an album of 100% Perfect, heartfelt and inspired pop rock. Jimmy Eat World are a heart on their sleeve kind of band, but what separates them from the pack is they are sincere about their sincerity. It isn’t just a pose or a marketing gimmick, it’s total unfiltered earnestness that is hardly ever seen in these oh-so-ironic times full of above-it-all smarty pants (That’s right, I’m talking about you, why don’t you whine about it in the comments section, I dare you). Jimmy Eat World seem like the kind of guys who have the balls to truly acknowledge their emotions, I’ll bet they aren’t even afraid to cry (btw, the reason you’re afraid to cry is because of your small cock). On top of that, when Jimmy Eat World swings the rock hammer down they bring it down hard, proving they can be as aggressive as they are sensitive.

Hawksley Workman – Lover/Fighter

(2003)

In order to write and record Lover/Fighter, Hawksley Workman shut himself off from society, living and recording in an old abandoned schoolhouse in the middle of winter. The funny thing is, it isn’t the sombre claustrophobic affair you’d expect. It’s a big heaping handful of epic stadium ready rock. Why this album isn’t better known is beyond me. It’s Workman’s finest, most cohesive record and is overflowing with big catchy hooks. If you haven’t heard the genre bending track “Smoke Baby”, I suppose you should.

Muse – Absolution

(2003)

Muse have a lot to boast about. If I had to describe their sound I’d say it’s Radiohead meets Rage Against the machine, only cooler. They sing about cool subject matter such as Armageddon, the rapture, conspiracies, god and obsession. They show off expert playing, soaring vocals, giant hooks…there isn’t a single thing about this album that isn’t awesome.

Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds – No More Shall We Part

(2001)

Nick Cave is incapable of becoming irrelevant. His music has always been important and it always will be. Cave ventures into uncharted territory with this beautiful and compelling collection of songs. It’s a slow burn of a record and that makes it all the more rewarding. It contains classics such as “God is in the House” and “Fifteen Feet of Pure White Snow”. The narration of this album is totally inspired and full of those wonderful idiosyncrasies that only Cave can pull off.

Pearl Jam – Pearl Jam

(2006)

Pearl Jam’s self titled album (affectionately known to fans as “Avocado”) brought the big anthems and electric aggression (that they had previously been shying away from) back to their music. And the boys weren’t fooling around. The first single “World Wide Suicide” (a big “fuck you” to the architects of war) was such a sorely needed injection of awesome that it dominated rock radio for weeks. Pearl Jam reclaimed all that was rightfully theirs from the Theory of a Nickelcreeds. They showed those young whippersnappers how it’s done.

One of the best albums from one of the best bands ever. ‘Nuff said.

Tegan & Sara – The Con

(2007)

I can’t say enough good things about Tegan and Sara. To know them is to love them and if you don’t know them, shame on you. Tegan and Sara have an amazing talent for making incredible music and then something up with something even better a couple years later. I almost put their new album “Sainthood” on my list because it might be a better record, but I’ve spent more hours listening to The Con. I’ve already said my piece about “Sainthood” which you can read here.

The Con is an album full of atmosphere and heartbreak, but also of strength. Tegan and Sara songs are never content to wallow; they display a survivor attitude in the face of an eloquently described despair and it makes their music all the more powerful. The Con features expertly constructed pop melodies with often sparse arrangements, lyrics so profound they’ll rip your heart out, angelic vocal melodies, and lots of that rock and roll attitude.

I’m in love with this band and if you try and slag them I will be merciless.

The White Stripes – Icky Thump

(2007)

Really, every single White Stripes album belongs on this list. They’re all equally awesome. The only reason I chose Icky Thump over the others was the mood I was in today. If I were to write this list tomorrow it might include “Get Behind Me Satan” instead, or “Elephant”, or “White Blood Cells”…point is the White Stripes are the best new rock band of the 2000s and all of their albums are equally brilliant.

The White Stripes are a band with a vision, they have the colour scheme, the recurring topics (all of their albums reference redheaded women, and all contain a song titled “Little _____”), and fantastic music videos. Meg’s childish sometimes off-time drumming perfectly compliments Jack’s rat-in-a-cage attack. Jack White’s lyrics are clever and at times have a stream of consciousness feel. His passion is unquestionable, and his song writing is as important as Kurt Cobain, Bruce Springsteen, Bob Dylan…you name it.

The White Stripes are the band of the decade. This isn’t so much an argument for the album Icky Thump as much as it’s an argument for the entire White Stripes catalogue. Long Live Jack and Meg!

Tool – Lateralus

(2001)

Ah, Tool, the only band in the world that can wait 5 or 6 years between albums and still have everyone and their dog clambering for them. Lateralus strolls up the next logical step from their previous record Ænima yet is still full of surprises. The album is one big sweeping, tense epic punctuated with orgasmic payoffs.

Maynard James Keenan is indisputably the best damn voice in rock and roll and he uses every trick at his disposal in this masterpiece of a record; never before or since has such challenging anti-pop, art-rock been so listenable and approachable. Danny Carey’s drumming is…well Danny Carey’s drumming. There are no words for how fantastic this guy is, just shut up and listen to him. Adam Jones’ Guitar work is otherworldly. His guitar sounds more like transmissions from hell than a mere six-string. Justin Chancellor shows off complex bass-lines that do anything but bleed into the background.

Every member of the band shines and they chug ahead like a well oiled machine. There is no single force in tool that outweighs the other. They are truly the sum off all their parts. Everything about Lateralus is a work of art. Even the liner notes are mind-blowing. Lateralus is an album that requires headphones, solitude and reflection. No kidding, this shit will change your life.

Honourable Mentions: Deftones – White Pony, A Perfect Circle – Mer de Noms, Days of the New – Red, System of a Down – Mezmerize/Hypnotize, Queens of The Stone Age – Songs for the Deaf, The stokes – Is This It, Wintersleep – Welcome to The Night Sky, Coheed and Cambria – Good Apollo: I’m Burning Star IV, Modest Mouse – Good News For People Who Love Bad News

and Yes, I’m aware that my top ten list contains 11 albums. What are you gonna do about it?……That’s what I thought.

Tags: 2000s, decade in review, I am right and you are wrong, isaac thompson, rock music, top ten
Posted in 2000's: A Decade in Review, Lists, Reviews

16
Dec
2009

Jawnpee Recommends Movies from the 00s!

No Comments

a reluctant list by John P. Rairdon

Introduction: I’m not one for top lists. I’m not one for saying something was the best but I have from time to time claimed something was better than another thing. This list consists of films that I have watched that I liked. They are the first 15 that came to mind when I thought about the subject. Listed in chronological order.

Fight Club (1999)

Yes, made in 1999 and if you make any bones about it I’ll fight you. This movie was so fucking important that even until 2004 I was still watching it monthly. If anything ever helped a group of kids make their transition through millenniums, this fucking film was the man. It taught us so much and made us care so little and question everything all the while inspiring us to love every moment we had alive. Fearlessness is the message.

3000 Miles to Graceland (2001)

Was Kevin Costner’s Roadhouse only cooler with cooler lines, cooler actors, cooler characters, cooler scenes and sexier girls? It had a stupid final resolution and that brings it down a bit but I’ll be damned if it wasn’t fun and all that other stuff I said.

My House in Umbria (2003)

Truth be told, I don’t remember much about this movie except I watched it every day it played on pay-per-view. Something about an old woman and some train wreck survivors. Dame Maggie Smith is old but still very much beautiful and she is all the reason I need to put this movie here in the list.

Bad Santa (2003)

Maybe it didn’t pave the way for inappropriate films but it painted new lines on the highway. At its time, this movie pressed some taboo buttons. Bad Santa shocked the shit out of you ’till you couldn’t walk right for a month. Plus, every step of the way it was hilarious. Absolutely gold. It starred that chick from Gilmore Girls, which was shocking on its own. It also has that musician, Billy Bob so-and-so.

House of Sand and Fog (2003)

A depressing, downer of a film with a very capable cast, young and old alike. The story is crazy in the way things spiral down to despair. Sir Ben Kingsley is a marvel to behold. There is great span of emotions embodied throughout this film’s progression and every one only makes the viewer more concerned. That’s the beauty of this piece. It made me care. I knew I didn’t agree with the way anybody handled anything they did but I was so worried for everyone because they were all doing it wrong.

Kill Bill Vol. 2 (2004)

I saw Vol. 1 on DVD on a literal small screen. It was fun and gory. Didn’t stop any trains and I doubt I told my family about it but it made me hop into the car when a gang was going to see Vol 2 at the local film joint.

*orgasm*

Now that is storytelling. That is action with feeling. That movie has soul. It is emotional. It’s sad with sad characters. It was hilarious and pure. Scary and heart wrenching. It has that trademark Tarantino dialog. It has brilliant music by Robert Rodriguez. It has David Fucking Carradine as the mother fucking man. Don’t you ever forget it.

I used to work at a grocery store down the road from the moving picture house. I used to get off my late night shift and run (I had no car) straight to theatre and catch the last 40 minutes of the movie. I did that all week.

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005)

Do you remember Casablanca? Did you ever notice how very little seemed to happen but everybody had something to say about it? That movie was a a masterpiece of dialogue. I can’t put Casablanca on this list but I can put Kiss Kiss Bang Bang on it. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang is not Casablanca. For one it has far more action, but the dialogue is incredible. I’ll admit it uses a narrator and that’s not Casa-class but don’t hold it against it because it does have Val Kilmer as big gay man with dry humour. Kiss Kiss is another spectacular Robert Downey Jr. film and should be seen by everybody who likes awesome things.

Lucky Number Slevin (2006)

Even if Lucky Number Slevin didn’t have the rockstar cast, the compelling characters, the rich interactions between those characters and the great story I would still be here telling you to watch this joint because the set design of this film goes beyond anything I can describe. The wall paper is magic. The glass bricks are colorful and metal fab wall coverings are boss. Lucky for you, Slevin has all that shit and Josh Hartnett.

Shopgirl (2005) and Broken Flowers (2005)

I’ll lump the last 2 in together. Both are mostly sad, awkward films that feature sad, awkward, aging comedians playing sad, awkward characters. Steve Martin wrote and played in Shopgirl along with Claire Danes and is less awkward than Bill Murray who played in Broken Flowers. Both Films have some charming and funny moments but they almost always come from other sources than the comedians who star in them. The supporting casts are what propel these films. No doubt Broken Flowers is better but the character of Jeremy (Jason Schwartzman) in Shopgirl is worth the sit through. Likewise Murray’s detective obsessed neighbour (Jeffrey Wright) was rich.

Read any good movies lately?

In the early 2000’s I was exposed to many foreign language films and they were all awesome possum. I’mma hit you with a few because you need to know there’s more out there than Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn and comic book adaptations.

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)

10 years ago this film was un-fucking believable. Out-fucking-rageous. It’s like China was sending a big F U to the Matrix style department.

“You can bend backwards to dodge bullets? Well we can walk on effing trees!”

So many things about this movie is magic but mostly it is the magic that makes this movie. People behave in ways that we can recognize and yet they do things better, farther, longer and easier than you or I could. They lift bigger hammers, they jump wider rivers and they fall down harder. And their flashback sequence lasts 20 minutes. Take that Family Guy.

Lucía y el sexo (Sex and Lucia) (2001)

Hold your breath, there’s lots of sex in this movie, shoot, there’s even a little nip on the official poster. The best part about this movie is the fact that despite all the sex it has a quite good story too boot. It’s a super example of dramatic irony. You know, when characters are doing stuff they think no one else will know about and we know better all along. It’s also fun to see the older depiction of the internet. All the keyboards go “clackity clack”. Fuck man, there are some nice tits in this movie but you will not feel like you watched a porno by the time it’s done.

Cidade de Deus (City of God) (2002)

Caught me off guard. It’s set in a most depressing city and has some incredible twists and turns. I was drawn to every bad decision that these children made. It is always shocking to see films with children behaving more adult than I at times, and not in good ways. With every bit of my North American, first world ignorance I ask with such force “WHERE ARE THESE KIDS’ PARENTS THROUGHOUT ALL THIS?!”

Heaven (2002)

I loved Sam Raimi’s The Gift. I payed attention to the fact that both Cate Blanchett and Giovanni Ribisi were in it. So when I heard there was a foreign film with those two together again I was curious to see it. A women attempts to exact revenge on an evil business man. It goes badly wrong and she turns herself in to the authorities. There are those films that once you finish watching you just sit there in silence. Heaven did that to me.

Irréversible (2002)

You will never, never be able to unsee this movie. Maybe now, in the years post 2002 this movie will be less shocking but I will never forget that brilliant, ugly, disgusting piece of perfect art presented in this film.

I hate this movie for the truths it presents. I hate this movie for the amazing techniques it uses to manipulate me. I hate this movie for its satisfying and heart warming ending. I hate this movie for ever having watched it. What I hate most about this movie is that after having seen everything I saw, in the order I was made to see it that I would have done the same fucking thing that I hated to see in the first 10 minutes if it happened to me.

Challenge yourself. Stomach the whole film.

Tags: 2000, bad santa, best movies of the decade, best of 2000s, brad pitt, city of god, crouching tiger hidden dragon, fight club, heaven, irreversible, john p. rairdon, Lists, movies, my house in umbria, oughts, top lists
Posted in 2000's: A Decade in Review, Lists, Reviews

14
Dec
2009

Favourite Music Since 2000

6 Comments

a personal list by Tyler Aikens

So my friend Jason has asked me to do a short write-up of my top 10 records over the past decade (that’s 1999-2009 folks! *ed. note: technically 2000-2009 is ten years. Just saying.) for Unfiltered Smoke. To be honest, it has proven to be more difficult than I expected for a number of reasons.

For starters, deciding on the top 10 over the last 10 years is a feat of its own. On average that’s one great album for every 12 months. Secondly, most of the records that have become prevalent in my life were released way back in 1998, a year behind the cut off. These include Turbonegro’s party-inducing “Apocalypse Dudes”, Dr. Octagon’s LSD-inspired self-titled record, The Refused’s genre-defining “The Shape of Punk to Come” (whose inspiration becomes more obvious with every passing year) and “Water and Solutions” by Far, an album I found at a second-hand shop and it changed my relationship with music forever. I guess I can save them for a “top 20 of the last 20 years” (here’s a hint: the early 90s blow the late 90s out of the water!).

Another personal goal with this article I had a problem with was coming up with an eclectic mix of albums so I didn’t end up with a genre list. For the past five or six years my music collection has been dominated by the work of many a hardcore punk group. While my love for such an angry and violent style of music may be a point of pride, Unfiltered Smoke deserves better.

So here it is. In no specific order, my 10 favourite records released in the past 10 years (so far of course, who knows what the rest of December may bring).

Moneen – “The Theory of Harmonial Value” (2001)

Before it became the meme we all know and hate, emo music was a small but expanding genre of punk written by guys who didn’t like the violence of hardcore or the anger of punk so instead stuck to nerdy pop punk with an ear for technical musicianship, personal lyrics and individuality. As underrated as they are, Moneen is and always has been the best at doing all of that and “Theory” is their Sistine Chapel. Unfortunately, they’re also the band that began the annoying trend of absurdly long song titles.

Highlight: Tonight, I’m Gone/ Jesus Ate My Homework”

Minus the Bear – “Highly Refined Pirates” (2002)

Speaking of bands with absurd song titles. If you ever come across this record, take a look at the track list. Some of them are even named after Starship Troopers quotes (movie quote song titles being another fad gone completely out of control). Nonetheless, Minus the Bear is another influential yet underappreciated rock band that is hardly mentioned enough in terms of importance in popular music today. Labelling them is near impossible, but it’s accurate to say they play dreamy, indie pop rock Phish fans would appreciate.

Highlight: “Thanks for the Killer Game of Crisco Twister”

Seafood – “When Do We Start Fighting…” (2001)

When friends discuss “the best British rock bands ever” it saddens me that Seafood is never brought up. I’ve met very few people who even know who they are despite the fact that the brit-pop group has been a band since 1996 and toured the US with Dashboard Confessional during the latter’s hey day. Seafood’s work post- and pre- “When Do We…” is less than satisfactory, but here they compose some of the most moving, obscure and aggressive pop rock songs I’ve ever heard.

Highlight: “Western Battles”

Soul Control – “Involution” (2007)
The Warriors – “Beyond the Noise” (2006)

I’m going to write one paragraph for these two albums because 1) I’m running on a deadline and I’m far behind and 2) I love both albums for almost the exact same reasons. Both are great hardcore albums heavily influenced by the post-hardcore bands of the 90s (like Helmet, Jawbox or Quicksand) but what truly sets these two records apart from the rest of the scene is passionate and spiritual lyricism. So refreshing! “Involution’s” themes tend to revolve around self-reflection and spiritual awakening, whereas The Warriors’ record is a lyrically told coming-of-age tale based on Herman Hesse’s “Siddartha” – the story of a young man looking for the meaning of life, and in doing so finds the meaning which he posseses within.

Highlights: SC – “Focus”, TW – “Awakened”

The Sword – “Age of Winters” (2006)

In the documentary “Metal: A Headbanger’s Journey”, Rob Zombie says something along the lines of how most metal today sucks because Black Sabbath already wrote all the best riffs. This was obviously said before “Age of Winters” was released because this shit is epic. The Sword bring a lot of modern death flavour to the stoner-rock sound Iommi and Sabbath innovated so long ago. The power of the riff compels you!

Highlight: “Winter’s Wolves”

The Bouncing Souls – “How I Spent My Summer Vacation” (2001)

Here’s something I’ve never done: review an album using the first lyrics of the first track and still manage to accurately describe how the record makes me feel.

I put that record on just to make a sound / The rhythm hit / It got my movement off the ground / The soundtrack of what I want to be / If I want to change the world, it’s gotta start with me”

Highlight: “Manthem”

The Stills – “Logic Will Break Your Heart” (2003)

If I had attempted to put this list into any sort of countdown, “Logic” would most definitely be number one, even though I normally don’t listen to music this poppy. Think Coldplay meets Interpol. Words can’t describe how brilliant this record is. There are few records out there that make me as proud to be Canadian as this one does.

Highlight: “Animals and Insects”

The Gaslight Anthem – “Sink or Swim” (2007)

This is The Gaslight Anthem listening to a lot of The Clash as opposed to their recent adoration of all things Springsteen. From a punk rock fan’s standpoint “Sink or Swim” is their best album. These guys need no introduction now, but readers should make it a priority to listen to this record if they like what they hear on the radio.

Highlight: “1930″

Fucked Up – “Epics in Minutes” (2004)

I cheated a little bit here because “Epics” is actually a collection of Fucked Up’s A-sides up to that point (they have a second collection due out soon, I think). But whatever, I’ve listened to this record more times than any other record ever; iTunes told me so. Chances are you know them as the Toronto hardcore punk band who won the Polaris Prize this year. Before they wrote boring concept albums devoid of almost any actual lyricism they wrote fast, short, pissed off hardcore songs about fighting cops or diss tracks aimed at Billy Talent. “Epics in Minutes is the reason Fucked Up is such a great band.

Highlight: “Police”

Tags: bouncing souls, decade in review, fucked up, gaslight anthem, hardcore, minus the bear, moneen, punk, seafood, soul control, stills, the sword, the warriors, tyler aikens
Posted in 2000's: A Decade in Review, Lists, Reviews

11
Dec
2009

Ten Unappreciated Films since 2000

14 Comments

The next in a series of Unfiltered Smoke decade retrospectives. This one by Doug Dickinson.

Ten Under-Appreciated Films of the Decade

I was already planning a “best films of the decade” list for my blog when Jason asked me to do a list for Unfiltered Smoke. Therefore, I decided to try something a little different. This is a list of ten films from the decade that I thought were under-appreciated. As far as I’m concerned all of them are great films that received bad reviews, did horrible at the box office, or were generally disliked by filmgoers.

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford – 2007 – Directed by Andrew Dominik

This three hour Western is an in-depth character study of one of the most famous outlaws in American history. Despite the fact that it has Brad Pitt in the starring role, it made barely any money and is considered a commercial failure. It’s a shame, because The Assassination of Jesse James is one of the best films of the decade and deserves to be seen by more people. It tells a fascinating story through strong performances and stunning photography.

The Fountain – 2006 – Directed by Darren Aronofsky

My theatre experience with The Fountain was one of the weirdest I’ve ever had. While I sat there riveted to my seat, people around me got up and walked out only minutes into the movie. I understand that it’s a very odd film. One that is hard to understand even after multiple viewings. But as challenging as it is, there is a lot to like if you keep an open mind. The performances and imagery are beautiful, and Clint Mansell’s score is arguably the best of the decade. I challenge everyone to sit through the movie once and give it some thought before dismissing it.

In Bruges – 2008 – Martin McDonagh

Of all the films I saw this decade I don’t know if there were any that managed to be funnier than In Bruges. Writer/Director Martin McDonagh’s full-length film debut feels similar to Tarantino crime films such as Pulp Fiction and Reservoir Dogs, but the smart writing is infused with so much humour that it works best as a comedy.

The most surprising thing about In Bruges is Colin Farrell’s acting. I have always liked his work, but his performance here is quite stunning, managing to be equally funny and moving. Brendan Gleeson and Ralph Fiennes give their usual great work, obviously enjoying themselves as they shoot alarming amounts of bullets and curse words.

Kingdom of Heaven (Director’s Cut) – 2005 – Directed by Ridley Scott

Ridley Scott has a history of getting screwed over by studios, and it has never been more obvious than with Kingdom of Heaven. He was forced to cut entire storylines out of the film to make it more action-packed. The film as it was seen in theatres was a decent action movie that seemed to be lacking in plot.

When the Director’s Cut was released, people were surprised to discover a completely different film. Well over an hour of content was added, making Kingdom of Heaven a slower-paced film that’s more comparable to Lawrence of Arabia than to Gladiator. It’s a shame that Scott wasn’t able to release his intended vision in theatres, but at least we have the ability to view it on DVD. The Director’s Cut of Kingdom of Heaven is a modern masterpiece.

The New World – 2005 – Directed by Terrence Malick

Few directors split audiences like Terrence Malick. The poetic storytelling, slow as molasses pacing and long run-times make most of his movies love it/hate it affairs. The New World is an even tougher sell than his other films such as Days of Heaven and The Thin Red Line. It’s a two and a half hour long take on the story of Pocahontas that has hardly any dialogue or action. Most of the film is made up of nature shots.

I adore Malick’s filmmaking, and while I don’t think The New World is as good as his previous films, I still consider it to be a great piece of work that is filled with beautiful cinematography and naturalistic performances. Everyone should try to watch at least one Malick film in their lifetime. Either you’ll be put to sleep or you’ll be a fan for life.

Once – 2007 – Directed by John Carney

Once came out of nowhere to become of my favorite movie of 2007. All I knew about it beforehand was that it was a tiny indie film that got insanely good reviews from critics. When I watched it at two in the morning one night after work, I was blown away by its honest romantic story and raw musical performances. I was so moved that I sat in tears, unable to go to sleep.

I loved the movie so much that I watched it numerous times in the following days, and most of my friends can attest to having me force the DVD on them until they agreed to watch it. Sadly not many people seemed to catch on to the movie, and I routinely see copies of the DVD sitting ignored in bargain bins.

Speed Racer – 2008 – Directed by Andy and Larry Wachowski

Speed Racer was one of the biggest box-office and critical failures of the decade. It received a razzie nomination, was on numerous “worst films of the year” lists, and seems to be hated by nearly everyone I talk to, whether they have seen it or not. The first time I saw it I had no idea what to expect. I thought the trailers were great, but at the same time there were a ton of negative reviews.

After watching Speed Racer I couldn’t understand why it’s so harshly disliked. Yes, it has its flaws, mainly the terrible pacing and bloated runtime. That said, I think it’s one of the most fun action flicks of the decade and I adore the visual style of the film. This is exactly how a live action adaptation of a retro cartoon should look.

The Village – 2004 – Directed by M Night Shyamalan

There’s a large number of critics and film buffs who consider Signs to be Shyamalan’s last good movie, but in my opinion The Village takes that honour. I enjoyed it mainly because of the strong cast (led by Bryce Dallas Howard’s brilliant debut performance), haunting score, and beautiful imagery. Most complaints about the film seemed to be focused on the lack of spookiness and disappointing plot twist, which I’ll admit are big flaws. It’s not a great film, but I don’t think it’s as bad as a lot of people made it out to be.

Brick – 2005 – Directed by Rian Johnson
and
The Lookout – 2007 – Directed by Scott Frank

Both of these Joseph Gordon-Levitt starring films were critical hits that went under-the-radar of most film goers. I love both films equally and couldn’t decide which one to include on this list, so I’m listing both. Brick is a neat little film noir that takes place around a modern day high school but has classic noir dialogue. The Lookout is a smartly written crime drama that features great performances from Jeff Daniels, Isla Fisher and Matthew Goode. But the main reason to check out both films is Joseph Gordon-Levitt. He’s been one of the most under-rated actors for most of the decade, and it’s his work in these two films that made me first take notice of him.

Tags: assassination of jesse james, brick, decade retrospective, doug dickinson, in bruges, kingdom of heaven, lookout, movies, musical, new world, once, Reviews, ridley scott, speed racer, top ten lists, village
Posted in 2000's: A Decade in Review, Lists, Reviews

07
Dec
2009

2009: A 30 Book Odyssey

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A look back at reading by Jason Wilson

Let me preface this by saying New Year’s resolutions are usually a waste of time. They involve a series of moments where we reflect on our perceived flaws and attempt to better ourselves with goals that last maybe a grand total of a month and fizzle out as we revert to our usual tendencies. In many cases you can’t force yourself to stop smoking because of New Years (my folks tried and failed but they tried nonetheless).

Reading has been a big part of my life ever since my mother taught me the alphabet with soup. Despite a small rebellion in high school and the first couple years after, I have read almost all the time. Whether it’s at the local coffee shop, on my favourite couch or on the bus, I try to always have a book with me in case I have a chance to read even a few sentences.

Last December I looked back over 2008 and the list of books I had read. The total was 15 and it was disappointing. I thought I had developed into a voracious reader who consumed words at a breakneck pace only to discover I had read only a fraction of the total I thought was acceptable. This is not rational. But I have my own personal expectation where I read more and more to obtain a greater world perspective. Reading develops ideas and opens minds to other points of view. So I vowed to read 30 books in 2009, doubling my output from the previous calendar year.

Here we are in early December and the goal has been completed. While I will likely clock a couple more I figured it was time to recap my reading list and maybe it will inspire you to pick up one or two of these or to try a similar experiment. Or maybe you will read even less if you determine that I just wasted a large chunk of my time (I will gladly disagree).

The next few paragraphs will detail the books that hit me the hardest leaving the greatest impact.

For Whom the Bell Tolls by Ernest Hemingway had been one of those books that carried a magical lore around it. Even though I was not aware of the subject matter, it had gravitas and represented what everyone knew about Hemingway. He was a masculine man’s man who loved writing about war and the inner conflicts within the male character. His writing style is sparse and direct leaving no room for meandering. Not a single word or sentence is out of place. No writer gets as much out of his words as Hemingway did.

It’s a simple story about an ex-pat trying to blow up a bridge during the Spanish Civil War but the deep and detailed history of pain and suffering (from all sides) is what makes it a masterpiece. Hemingway’s characters are perfectly flawed. Noble but tortured. It’s one of the best books I’ve ever read and is a must for anyone who likes to read.

The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera fell into my lap courtesy of Amy Anderson, a reader even more voracious than I. None of the main characters in this love triangle of a novel are short changed. No one is a victim of being underdeveloped and instead of painting heroes and villains, Kundera uses the grey area of relationships as his setting. Even the dog gets his share of moments and is not just window dressing or an emotional outlet for the characters. Too many writers force the reader to take sides, Kundera simply tells a story without judgment or prejudice of his characters.

The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Klay and Wonder Boys by Michael Chabon proved to me that I had been missing out on one of the best contemporary American authors. Two books with wildly different tones while maintaining a sincerity and sense of fun that Chabon seems to have about him, achieve perfectly the balance of entertainment with glimpses into history and the mind of a writer. Kavalier and Klay was a heavily researched novel set among the boom of comic books in the early 1900s. The set up is outstanding, with young Josef Kavalier escaping Europe for the United States. It’s clearly a prologue of the rest of Kavalier’s life, but Chabon takes his time making sure this part of the book resonates with purpose. Kavalier as a magician’s apprentice and his relationship with his brother set the stage for the man he becomes. Because of this, Joe Kavalier is one of the most dynamic characters in a novel I have read. He’s solemn, the tortured writer with a purpose. His family is being persecuted and he escaped while they suffered. So along with his cousin Sam Klayman, he creates the comic book superhero The Escapist…maybe he could save his family while in reality Kavalier could not. It won the Pulitzer with good reason.

Wonder Boys runs on less of a grand scale focusing on a stoned, washed up writer and English professor trying to finish his ballooning new novel. While the great film adaptation lends hope that his brilliance will shine through his struggles, the book is less kind to Grady Tripp. It’s obvious from page one that he won’t be the success he and his peers may have once expected of him. He takes it upon himself to guide a young writer (another tortured soul) into maybe realizing his own potential. Hood jumpers, lecture hall outbursts and a dead dog ensue.

On the non-fiction front, I snatched up a copy of Ryszard Kapucinski’s The Shadow of the Sun when I thought I might end up interning as journalist/teacher in Liberia or Sierra Leone. My friend Alison Shurvell lent it to me when she heard about my application to Journalists for Human Rights and told me I needed to read it. Kapucinski was the first newspaper correspondent from Poland to cover Africa extensively, and by extensively I mean he traveled from Liberia to Rwanda to Egypt and pretty much everywhere in between. It’s a fascinating read from a journalists reflections on a continent that outsiders still know little about. His travels weave like a novel much like David Simon’s chronicle of Baltimore crime in Homicide: A Year on the Killing Streets. The difference aside from culture and geography lies in the first person narrative. Simon completely removed himself allowing the characters do the talking, while Kapucinski’s tale is much more personal. He lived many decades in as a stranger in a strange land. His book neither glorifies the experiences nor villifies them and he doesn’t treat the cultural differences as arcane but approaches them as simply different.

Bill Bryson’s A Brief History of Nearly Everything is science for the layman. High school science classes could never put the history of science into perspective as well as Bryson’s book does. Largely because classes were all about formulas and the ends of the process with very little room for context. The history takes a back seat but with Bryson, it’s the process that is secondary. Bryson writes like a curious child yearning for knowledge and it comes across so clear and is insanely readable and easy to navigate. While it is occasionally bogged down with names and dates and would likely require multiple reads to force much of it to memory, even a surface read will pound interesting tidbits of historical information and context absent from any science class.

Horror is a genre so pathetically short changed that it almost seems like a dirty secret to be a fan of it. Hopefully books like Joe Hill’s short story compilation 20th Century Ghosts and Max Brooks’ World War Z change this. Hill has such an easy flow to his stories and never sleepwalks through a tale. He changes style and themes effortlessly and is so entertaining that to snobs it couldn’t possibly seem like literature. But he treats his subjects in earnest. From Abraham’s Boys telling the story of Van Hellsing raising his sons in America years after the events in Dracula and bringing the facts into scrutiny to The Black Phone about an abducted boy trapped in a cellar and everything in between, Hill is equally touching and terrifying. It never loses the drive or flow necessary for continuous reading which can be a pitfall for anthologies of the like. When you pick it up, you will read it until the conclusion of the very last story and love every second of it, horror fan or not.

World War Z is an appropriate conclusion to the zombie outburst in pop culture as vampires have again taken center stage. It serves as a bookend to the stories popularized by George Romero with Night of the Living Dead but Brooks doesn’t just take a worn out idea and beat it into the ground. He breathed fresh life into the dead by writing a journalistic novel as a series of interviews with survivors from the global zombie holocaust. It’s social commentary on how disconnected we all are and how doomed we may be if the living dead suddenly did swarm over the planet. He deals with isolation, fear, regret and the power mad so well that it is more than just another horror novel. Both an intense quick read and thoughtful look at society under a microscope, World War Z is not just a book sent here to capitalize on a popular genre movement. It is the high point among a sea of mediocre Romero rip-offs.

I can’t possibly write about all the books that hit home like Kerouac’s Vanity of Duluoz and his reflections on alcoholism and self-loathing in Big Sur (he doesn’t sugar coat a thing and isn’t afraid to portray himself in scumbag light). God Bless You Mr. Rosewater was my Vonnegut for the year and as always he is reliable with a great story, interesting characters and a bit of a “fuck you” to convention. Likewise with Tom Robbins’ Jitterbug Perfume tale of perfume, beets, Gods and immortality. Neal Stephenson’s Snow Crash was not as involving as Cryptonomicon (I read that in 2008) but was a fun popcorn sci-fi adventure. And Bram Stoker’s Dracula surprised the hell out me that it was not one bit dated in style.

I slogged through The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood, largely considered to be one of her masterpieces. It never grabbed me and I couldn’t seem to care about what happened. It was expertly woven and she used the jumps from past to present to an alternate fiction very well but if the story itself is mundane and bland, then it will lose the reader. It came highly recommended but fell flat.

Chuck Klosterman’s first novel, Downtown Owl also suffered from lack of a defining story. The climax works well, but the lead in meanders and repeats itself too often to remain engaging. His essays and non-fiction in Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puff and Killing Yourself to Live were far more interesting than his novel.

Michael Chabon also served up a stinker with Gentlemen of the Road. It was a serialized adventure piece that ran in the New York Times. As a book it has action and excitement but lacks any characters with the depth of emotion and intricacies his larger pieces have. It’s deeply rooted in Jewish culture, so my lack of knowledge in the area may have prevented me from exactly “getting” it.

Below is a gallery of the covers of all the books read this year in order that I read them. Peruse it and ask specifically about any I have not mentioned here. Also, I’m looking for recommendations for 2010. So far I plan on reading:

House of Leaves by Mark Danielewski
St. Urbain’s Horseman by Mordecai Richler
The Terror by Dan Simmons
The Jungle by Upton Sinclair
Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell by Susanna Clarke
Son of the Circus by John Irving

Hope you enjoyed this look back. Oh and before I forget, Hell’s Angels by Hunter Thomspon was my companion book through my February trip to Nashville. I remember sitting in my slummy motel room in Scranton, Pennsylvania listening to the rats in the walls reading about Thompson and his relationship with the bikers of the most notorious biker gang in the history of United States. For whatever reason, it was a comforting experience.

Tags: 20th century ghosts, amazing adventures of kavalier and klay, bill bryson, blind assassin, books, dracula, ernest hemingway, for whom the bell tolls, hells angels, jack kerouac, joe hill, kurt vonnegut, margaret atwood, max brooks, michael chabon, milan kundera, neal stephenson, new year's resolution, reading, ryszard kapucinski, shadow of the sun, short history of nearly everything, snow crash, unbearable lightness of being, wonder boys
Posted in Lists, Reviews

31
Oct
2009

Horror Movie Top Ten List #2: Giant Monster Movies

2 Comments

They all laughed when I suggested we put electric fences around the kitten-frog compound... Now we're all as good as dead!

by Isaac Thompson

Why hello there, I didn’t see you come in… Frankly, you’re lucky I didn’t shoot you. I’m an avid gun collector and I startle very easily. Also, it’s rude not to knock. But since you’re here I might as well welcome you to part 2 of my 10 part series about great horror movies. Today I’ll be taking you through the wonderful world of nature…run amok!

Hell yeah! It’s Giant Monster Movies!

The kind where huge beasts chase after girls, floss their teeth with subway trains and crush the puny military with their fiery laser breath! These kinds of movies are always lots of fun. They’re the kind of horror movies you can enjoy with the whole family, meaning they usually don’t rely on gore or sex like many other types of horror films so they’re less likely to traumatize children or offend old people. (No offence, old people)

So why don’t you make yourself at home, have a look around and enjoy yourself. Just make sure to stay the hell away from my gun room.

Top Ten List #2/10 : Top Ten Giant Monster Movies

Giant Monster Movie 101:

- The first movie to feature giant monsters on the loose was Harry Hoyt’s “The Lost World” (1925). It’s a silent film based on Arthur Conan Doyle’s 1912 novel of the same name about a land where dinosaurs still roam. The film features groundbreaking special effects by Willis O’brian, a legendary stop-motion artist who would go on to work on King Kong. Not only was it the first movie to feature giant monsters on the loose fucking shit up for the little guy, it was also the first movie to be shown on an airplane. The best part is that film stock of the day was made of super-flammable nitrate and the airplane it was shown on (a London – Paris Flight in April 1925) was made largely of wood. The Lost World was so amazing that people of the day would gladly risk being burned alive in mid-air to see it. Nowadays the movie is public domain, so you don’t have to risk spontaneous combustion to see it, you can watch it in it’s entirety by clicking this handy link.

- Common themes of Giant Monster movies include man vs. nature, fear of science, the consequences of atomic weapons, the uselessness of government and military to protect the citizens, the dangers of humans tampering with powerful forces and fear of invasion from a foreign threat.

- Godzilla is easily the world’s most famous and instantly recognizable giant movie monster. He has starred in 28 films in the last 50 years. He was created in Japan in 1954 as a metaphor for the shit America pulled in Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Japanese movie goers ate it up, it did what horror movies do best; it let them exorcise their fears in a fun, safe and cathartic way. Soon after that, some jackass American film producer got their hands on the distribution rights. They change the giant lizard’s name from Gojira to Godzilla and edited in clips of American actor Raymond Burr so the movie would be 50% less Japanese and 100% less intelligible. Godzilla has proven to be a timeless character. He’s appeared in everything from Saturday morning cartoons to Hollywood remakes to lunch boxes and action figures. He’s captured the imagination of children world-wide. However, Godzilla has never, ever, ever starred in an even half-way decent movie, so this is the last I’ll mention the tall, talentless pseudo-tyrannosaur.

It's not that easy being green.

# 10. Tremors

[1990]

Starring: Kevin Bacon, Fred Ward, Finn Carter, Michael Gross, Reba McEntire and Victor Wong

Written by:Brent Maddock and S.S. Wilson

Directed by: Ron Underwood

What it’s about: Two bumbling handymen,Val and Earl (Kevin Bacon and Fred Ward) from Perfection, Nevada decide to skip town for bluer skies (but honestly, I don’t see how you can improve on a place literally called “Perfection). Before they can leave, Perfection is attacked by giant subterranean worm creatures called “Graboids”. Sure that’s a stupid name, but that’s where the stupid ends. This movie totally rules.

Why it’s good:I loved this movie as a kid and was a little nervous about re-watching it for this article. Sometimes re-watching beloved movies from my childhood is an enjoyable nostalgic experience (Monster Squad only gets better as I grow older), and other times the films are so horrendous they make me wonder if I spent my entire childhood tweaking on L.S.D. (I’m looking in your direction, Garbage Pale Kids.). With Tremors, my fears were lifted, it’s more fun than a movie has the right to be.

The giant worms are a cool adversary and there are a lot of thrilling action scenes, but the biggest strength of Tremors is it’s characters and ensemble cast. The comedy duo of Val and Earl is played to perfection. They are the giant monster movie genre’s very own Laurel and Hardy. Michael Gross is dead on as Burt Gummer, the resident gun nut (and my personal hero). Reba McEntire is fantastic as Burt’s survivalist-nut wife, and she rocks the end credits with a catchy pop-country number. The professional ass-kicker Victor Wong plays store owner Walter Chang, a shameless business-man always looking out for a quick buck.

Tremors is a surprisingly smart, hilarious and thrilling movie. It’s well worth your time, I hadn’t had this much fun since my “Twilight” book burning party.

trailer? I hardly know her…

# 9. Q: The Winged Serpent

[1982]

Starring:Michael Moriarty, Candy Clark, David Carradine and Richard Roundtree

Written by and Directed by: Larry Cohen

What it’s about: New York city (a city which has the crummy luck of being a preferred destination for giant monsters on the loose) is victim to a giant mythological beast who has been resurrected by a satanic cult. The police try and put a stop to it while a small time criminal (played brilliantly by Michael Moriarty) has found out where the creature’s nest is and is trying to blackmail the city for information.

Why it’s good: Although Q has it’s flaws, (it’s a mix bag of ideas, some work and some don’t) It has imagination to spare. The urban setting and 70’s hairdos give this movie and endearing drive-in Grindhouse feel. Michael Moriatry’s performance is fantastic especially for a movie where half the cast seems to be sleepwalking through their lines. His character is one of those snivelling two-timing weasels you love to hate and hate to love.

The creature effects are outdated and unconvincing, but that doesn’t stop the movie from being a hell of a lot of fun. It’s one of the bloodiest giant monster movies out there. Quinton Tarantino has said on many occasions that this movie was one of his inspirations for Reservoir Dogs…how cool is that?

Q has one of the best taglines ever. “Its name is Quetzalcoatl… just call it Q, that’s all you’ll have time to say before it tears you apart!”

…Fuck yeah!

# 8. The Beast From 20,000 Fathoms

[1953]

Starring: Paul Christian, Paula Raymond, Cecil Kellaway and Kenneth Tobey

Written by: Fred Freiberger, Eugène Lourié, Louis Morheim and Robert Smith
based on a story by Ray Bradbury

Directed by: Eugène Lourié

What it’s about: A long dormant dinosaur called a Rhedosaurus is awakened by nuclear bomb tests north of the Arctic Circle. The dinosaur makes his way to, yup, New York City. Once in the city he proceeds to crush, kill and destroy.

Why it’s good: Ray Harryhausen, the stop-motion genius behind “Jason and the Argonauts” and “The Seventh Voyage of Sinbad”, makes any movie worth watching. His effects are astonishingly great, especially when you consider how much time it must have taken to film. The beast from 20,000 fathoms is pure 50’s monster movie gold. It’s the first movie to have a giant monster attack as a result of atomic weapons, it created the genre in the same way “Halloween” created Slasher movies.

Trailer, Trailer, rolly polly trailer!

# 7. The Host

[2006]

Starring: Song Kang-ho, Byeon Hee-bong and Park Hae-il

Written by: Baek Chul-hyun and Bong Joon-ho

Directed by: Bong Joon-ho

What it’s about: An irresponsible American Military pathologist orders a bunch of formaldehyde to be dumped into the Han River. What results is a giant fishy-frog amphibian monster that eats people.

Why it’s good: The Host has the distinction of being the highest grossing South Korean film of all time and like any good giant monster flick, it is roller-coaster ride of a movie. It smoothly adds effective comedy and drama to the proceedings. The monster in the film is really cool. I like how the creature is big, but not so big he can’t interact one on one with a character at a time. This really helps create tension in the moments of peril.

The host is a touching story about the strength of the family unit. It plays all the right dramatic cues but still has the monster movie madness we all crave. The final reel of the film is truly outstanding, displaying the film’s impressive effects and beautiful lighting. It also comments nicely on how shitty America’s military presence in South Korea is. If it weren’t for the American military there would be no giant monster movies.

Yes, I’m aware that there is also a book by “Twilight” scribe Stephanie Meyer called “The Host”, and no, I’m not the least bit amused.

# 6. Cloverfield

[2008]

Starring: Michael Stahl-David, T. J. Miller, Jessica Lucas, Odette Yustman, Lizzy Caplan and Mike Vogel

Written by: Drew Goddard

Directed by: Matt Reeves

What it’s about: Normal dude McEveryman, Rob is leaving his home in (surprise, surprise) New York City for a job in Japan. At his going away party, which is being filmed by Rob’s buddy Hud, a sound like a bomb goes off and the power goes out. Turns out, New York city is being attacked by a giant, bloodthirsty monster….again. You’d think by now New York would have a solid contingency plan for this kind of thing.

Why it’s good: Cloverfield was released in a hurricane of hype, at first it had the world by the balls and then split seconds later the internet backlash had begun. Now that all the hype, anti-hype bullshit is over, the movie is allowed to speak for itself and Cloverfield is a great monster movie.

It has a few drawbacks, mainly the reality star throwback cast/romantic subplot and the handy-cam gimmick. Like Blair Witch, [Rec], and Diary of the Dead, Cloverfield is presented as if it were filmed by one of the main characters. This can work to amazing effect in certain horror scenes, but also weighs heavy on the suspension of disbelief threshold. Cloverfield is one of the better handy-cam horrors.

The Sept. 11th metaphors and imagery are laid on thick and impossible to ignore, I think this works in the films favour. Some deem such things to be insensitive, but I believe horror movies should dissect our greatest fears and the worst of humanity. That’s their function. Cloverfield takes the anxiety of the 9/11 attacks and explodes them to cartoonish proportions, allowing the viewer to safely explore the world they fear.

Cloverfield rarely strays from the common genre conventions. Still it is an enjoyable ride and has some truly astounding moments. The special effects are fantastic and once the action kicks in the film is an intense thriller that you can easily lose yourself in.

Super Producer/Director J.J. Abrams (the man behind the T.V. show “Lost” and the awesome new Star Trek movie) is one of the modern masters of fantasy/adventure films and I consider Cloverfield to be one of the best giant monster movies of the decade. I’d like to see a sequel where the Cloverfield monster fights the giant fish-frog monster from “The Host”!

Neat-O trivial tidbit: Cloverfield has subliminal nods to other famous movie monsters who have attacked New York in the past. Any time the camera starts to flicker or goes to static, you can freeze-frame it and find single frames from classic monster movies such as “The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms”, “King Kong” and “Them!”.

Watch this trailer and notice how the faint, sulphury smell of hype still lingers.

# 5. The Incredible Shrinking Man

[1957]

Starring: Grant Williams, Randy Stuart, April Kent, Paul Langton and Billy Curtis

Written by: Richard Matheson

Directed by: Jack Arnold

What it’s about: Grant Williams plays Scott Carey, a man who shrinks, incredibly.

Why it’s good: Screenwriter and novelist Richard Matheson is easily one the best horror authors of all time. He was one of the first guys to take horror out of the haunted castles and gothic settings and into modern suburbia. Along with “the Incredible Shrinking Man” he wrote the novels “I am Legend”, “What Dreams May Come”, Stir of Echoes and “Hell House”. He wrote the screenplay for Stephen Spielberg’s first film “Deul” and Roger Corman’s Edgar Allan Poe adaptations. In his spare time he wrote every great Twilight Zone episode, including the one where William Shatner sees the monster on the wing of his plane.

The first thing “The Incredible Shrinking Man” has going for it is it is a brilliant story. I don’t want to give too much away because it’s such a great movie with such an original plot that you have to see it for yourself. It’s a fast paced adventure with chills and thrills but it also has a lot of heart and at its core is an exploration of existentialism. The special effects were outstanding in their day and still look impressive to my jaded 21’st century eyes. In 1957 they didn’t need things like C.G.I or Megan Fox to make a movie, they got a great storyteller and paid him to tell a great story.

While it’s not exactley a giant monster movie, it still has many of the genre’s conventions. The difference is, in this movie the giant monsters are every day household creatures like a cat or spider. This only works to the film’s advantage. To me, there would be nothing scarier than being mouse-sized and having a cat chase after you… Have you seen what cats do to mice? It’s disgusting.

See this movie! Orsen Wells agrees.

# 4. 20 Million Miles to Earth

[1957]

Starring: William Hopper, Joan Taylor and Frank Puglia

Written by: Bob Williams and Christopher Knopf

Directed by: Nathan H. Juran

What it’s about: After a manned mission to Venus, a specimen is brought back to earth. The specimen, a mysterious egg, soon hatches a small creature. The earth’s oxygen causes the creature to grow and grow at an alarming rate and he goes on a mad rampage in Rome, including a climax in the coliseum!

Why it’s good: Like “The Beast From 20,000 Fathoms”, this movie features the amazing stop motion work of Ray Harryhausen. You’ll shiver as you see the giant alien creature level cities, you’ll gasp as you watch the creature in a bitter death-match with an elephant. That’s right, this movie features a giant monster fighting a fucking elephant.

Case closed.

They really don’t make ‘em like they used to.

# 3. Jurassic Park

[1993]

Starring: Sam Neill, Laura Dern, Jeff Goldblum, Richard Attenborough, Joseph Mazzello, Ariana Richards, Martin Ferrero, Bob Peck, Samuel L. Jackson and Wayne Knight

Written by: David Koepp and Michael Crichton based on the novel by Michael Crichton

Directed by: Stephen Spielberg

What it’s about:uh, it’s about Dinosaurs!

Why it’s good: When I was 10 years old, Jurassic Park was my religion. I’ve seen this movie a million times and it’s never lost its magic. The effects are top notch, they really haven’t been topped since. Spielberg was at the top of his game in 1993, the year he made two of the best movies of all time; Jurassic Park and Schindler’s List.

Although it’s marketed as an adventure for children, Jurassic Park is a thrilling and at times, frightening film. Spielberg is one of the all time masters when it comes to big budget, high concept films with heart and a human core.

This is one of those movies that everyone knows and where every scene is iconic. There’s the scene where the T-Rex attacks one of the land cruisers (One of my all time favourite giant monster sequences.), the wickedly intelligent Velociraptors, the thrilling climax and of course, Jeff Goldblum!

If you haven’t watched Jurassic Park, there’s no excuse for you. Your best bet is to discretely sneak out of the room, walk down to the video store, rent the movie (all the while acting like you’ve seen it many times), and then secretly watch it with the shades drawn. Once you’ve finally watched the movie you can go back to pretending you’re not the biggest goon on the planet.

Here’s the super-lame trailer for a super-awesome movie

# 2. Jaws

[1975]

Starring: Roy Scheider, Richard Dreyfuss, Robert Shaw, Lorraine Gary and Murray Hamilton

Written by: Peter Benchley and Carl Gottlieb based on the novel by Peter Benchley

Directed by: Stephen Spielberg

What it’s about: An oversized shark is eating up the residents of Amity Island. The town officials refuse to shut down the beaches due to the fourth of July tourist frenzy, so it’s up to the police chief, a plucky marine biologist and a hardened shark assassin to put things right.

Why it’s good: It would be much easier to write what isn’t good about Jaws. But since I can’t really submit an article that says nothing, I’ll try and quickly encapsulate the amazing feat of human expression that is Jaws.

Jaws is a perfect movie. Every scene, every performance, every camera angle, every goddamn shot is completely brilliant and inspired. This is the movie that put Stephen Spielberg on the map, It’s the first ever summer blockbuster, It’s one of the few monster movies that is universally loved by audiences and critics.

Jaws done changed the game.

It’s really all been said before; Spielberg’s direction is literally genius, the musical score is one of the most iconic and effective scores of all time, the character development is natural and thorough. If you haven’t seen Jaws you should really stop reading this and do so immediately.

Here’s an interesting trivia tid-bit I discovered during my research: In his later years, Jaws author Peter Benchley was so ashamed of his portrayal of sharks and it’s effect on their reputation that he became an outspoken defender of sharks. He became a member of the National Council of Environmental Defense and a spokesman for its Oceans Program. In his own words :

“The shark in an updated Jaws could not be the villain; it would have to be written as the victim; for, worldwide, sharks are much more the oppressed than the oppressors.”

As much of a fan I am of Jaws, I have to say that Benchley is right. The perceived threat of sharks is almost entirely fictional. Human beings are wiping sharks out at an alarming rate and this could cause real problems for everyone. I highly recommend checking out the documentary “Shark Water”. It will break your heart.

# 1. King Kong

[1933]

Starring: Fay Wray, Robert Armstrong and Bruce Cabot

Written by: James Ashmore Creelman and Ruth Rose based on a story by Merian C. Cooper and Edgar Wallace

Directed by: Merian C. Cooper and Ernest B. Schoedsack

[2005]

Starring: Naomi Watts, Jack Black, Adrien Brody and Andy Serkis

Written by: Peter Jackson, Fran Walsh and Philippa Boyens based on a story by Merian C. Cooper and Edgar Wallace

Directed by: Peter Jackson

What it’s about: A film director who specializes in exotic nature adventures takes a crew and a beautiful actress with him to skull island where they encounter the mighty Kong, a huge ape who’s just looking for love. They bring Kong back to New York… not a good idea.

Why it’s good: We’ve arrived at the #1 position on my countdown and it’s a tie between King Kong and King Kong! That’s not a typo. Both the original and the Peter Jackson remake are beautiful films.

It’s a classic beauty and the beast story, it speaks of man’s total disregard for nature and fixation on greed and exploitation. King Kong isn’t just one of the most tragic monster films, it’s one of the most tragic love stories of all time.

Both versions are brilliant in their own ways. The original smacked 1933 audiences in the face like a fist to the jaw. No one had ever seen anything like it and it is one of the most important movies ever made. Fay Wray’s performance will make you fall in love with her, and King Kong’s demise will make you cry.

Peter Jackson’s remake keeps the flavour of the original, but expands on everything. Jackson created a breathtakingly sprawling adventure movie that ranks as my favourite film of his. Most horror movie remakes are abominations and better left forgotten, Peter Jackson’s King Kong is every bit as good as the original.

There are no words for how I feel about the King Kong films…there are, however, trailers.

If you missed my last article: Horror Movie Top Ten List #1: Slasher Movies, you can read it now by clicking this sentence.

Tags: giant monsters, horror movies, isaac thompson, list, top ten
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